The Meantime Girl

The Meantime Girl

What’s a Meantime Girl?

She’s the greatest girl friend you could ever have, the best female companion, the most qualified instructor for that “Understanding Women 101” course. She’s the best therapist who will listen to your never-ending angst and make sound and practical comments and she can even be the best kind of comforter during your “I’ve made a complete mess of my life” tirades.

She will make you smile and make you laugh with her charms and sharp wit. She’s that girl to count on to laugh at your corny jokes. That girl you can trust to always lighten up your mood, that girl who will readily give her smile. She is that female companion who will soothe your ego and make you feel special when she’s around.

You can be in your slobby or lazy or klutzy self with her and you know it’s gonna be ok because she will still like you no matter what. You won’t feel embarrassed to tell her your most humiliating experience because though she’ll laugh and sympathize with you, she will never laugh at you or make you feel stupid. Basically, whatever you do, whatever mistakes you make in front of her, no matter how much of a fool you’re making out of yourself, you know it’s gonna be ok. They won’t matter coz she will still see and feel the same way about you.

You can ask for her advice on how to redeem yourself to Miss Perfect and she will give you very good tips. She will tell you in all honesty and objectivity if the signals the girl is sending indicate that you got a chance… And if not, she’ll be there to be that female lover who will catch your fall.

No worries, because she actually doesn’t mind that the two of you seldom (almost never) go out on a real date. That you just stay there in his apartment watching that football game on ESPN amidst the playful banters, amidst those tummy rubs and back rubs and caresses… And she really doesn’t mind that you don’t introduce her to any of your friends or to your brother or sister or to any of your colleagues at work. Really… it’s ok if only the two of you exist in your world.

Yep, hard as it may for others to believe, she really doesn’t make a big deal of your moments together or look more into them as signs other than just “those moments.” She knows that this is a dead end relationship, thus, has accepted that this is not a beginning of anything.

Some may not believe it either, but the truth is, she really doesn’t expect anything from you. She’s perfectly aware that what the two of you share is meaningless. And all those “sweet” and “nice” moments are just that – moments. She knows that the laughter and the fun and the intimacy that you have shared don’t really mean anything. Actually, she will never ask for anything from you.

Yeah, sometimes, you also get confused as to what role you really play in her life. You do know and feel that she feels something for you – that she genuinely likes you. But what she displays in front of you is just something that you can’t understand or catch or grasp.

You know she cares for you yet you feel her indifference. She shows genuine affection yet you also feel that those are meaningless. She listens to you with real interest when you tell her about your life yet you feel her detachment. She cares for you yet she doesn’t. She’s real yet she isn’t. She’s close yet she has brick walls.

Because the truth is, she’s not in love with you… because she will never allow herself to fall in with you. Even if you feel that you're the one who's already falling.

You can tell her the names of every girl you want to sleep with and it would look as if she doesn’t mind. Because in reality, she also sees other men other than you, but that is something that she would never say upfront.

She will not fall in love with you because she will never hold her own life or wait for your sake. You may have loads of fun together but she will still enjoy the company of others as much as she enjoys yours. You may be here right now and then gone the next and she won’t make a big deal out of it because her life does move on just the same with or without you.

She will not fall in love with you because she will never choose to move heaven and earth just to be with you. She will see you if she is free but she will not cancel another luncheon date just to be with you or sacrifice something else just to accommodate your needs.

She will not fall in love with you because she will never allow herself to need you. It wouldn't cross her mind to ask help from you should she run into a problem. She will not ask for your help or let you help her should you offer.

Though she may not fall in love, she will always hold that affection for you. She'll be delighted to see you, excited to be with you, and will smile with fondness whenever the memory of you flashes into her mind. But she will always just remain “delighted” but never “happy.” She will always just be “excited to see you” but will never “long to see you.” It will always be just “fondness” but never “love.”

Yep, this Meantime Girl really is the greatest girl friend a guy can ever have – but she’s also the lousiest girlfriend a guy can have. She’s cool, she’s cute, she’s a barrel of laughter and she’s tons of fun. She’s easygoing and she’s sweet and kind and warm and uninhibited. She ain’t nuthin’ of a demanding bitch and can take care of herself. Oh, I’m sure you’ll get along with her just fine.

What else can a guy ask for in a girl?

Yeah, she may give you all of those, but one thing she can never give is her heart. Because she knows she’s a Meantime Girl, she will always just choose to be there for a while and then leave after some time. She will always choose to just briefly touch your life with her laughter and capriciousness, to be that fleeting someone, but never choose to stay.

And though she’s used to it and may say she prefers it to be this way, the truth is, she wishes things were different. And though lots of guys have come to mark the corner spaces of her life, she sometimes wish that someone could occupy the center stage. And though she readily gives a piece of her heart to everyone, there are times she wish she can give her heart to just one.

But as it is, she no longer knows how.

Anyway, yeah, I am that Meantime Girl. Have been one for quite some time now. But it’s ok, really, coz I’m already used to it and have become quite an expert on being one.

Sure, it can get lonely sometimes and even depressing at other times whenever you tend to look at your life holistically only to realize that though a lot of them have come and gone while some are still there… There really is no one.

But they are just "those times," really, and not all the time.

Yeah, it is better this way. Coz it's safe most of the time.