See the world through the eyes of me

Preface.


The sirens of the on going madness below kept screaming through Maygan’s head, making her dizzy and sick. She turns her head up to see the skyline of New York, to her the 9th wonder of the new world. She see’s a plane pass by over her head and almost forgot how high she was up, feeling safe and secure on the edge of a 100 story building. Her home, her safe haven from the world down there, the madness. Dressed in her usual black outfit, long sleeved, covering her entire body and wedged heals. Her hair black flowing and long.
Blood dripping from open wounds on her neck and face, the confessions of the on going battle. A battle that has lasted for centuries. A battle she now reawakened to be finished here today. In the cracks and creases of her blue eyes you can see the flashes of her past, imprints of her memories as she begins her story where really it ends.

Chapter 1.

Looking back on things now, I wonder where it went wrong. Was it the men in my life that laid my course out for me before I even knew it or was it my mother - my ever loving mother - or maybe it was just my own choices that lead me to that one faithful day. The day I gave away my soul, my life, my angle … the one thing that was truly good. The one thing that was untouched by all of this – pure and innocent - now left all alone …
Let me take you back to the beginning of it all…, at the time I was only 17 years old but already so much has happened that would shape my path. I found myself in the living room of my step father – Pieter McDermid’s - lavish home in Long Island where he, my mother -Lucile- , myself along with Jacob and Jessica – the billionaires 18 year old twins he had with his late wife Jenevieve - lived.
In my hand I held a picture that once was one of joy and pleasant memories, of beautiful things and thoughts and laughter, but had no longer the same meaning to me. Instead the beautiful dark wood frame was filled with memories of aches buried deep in my chest where my heart once pounded.
I stuffed the picture back to its place in the cabinet and closed it quickly before a tear could spring to the surface under my eyes. It was the day I got a certificate for winning the regional spelling-bee competition, I was 6. Although it was of no more significance then any other day for me, it was the night that followed I would never forget. It was the night my father disappeared. He left for an emergency at his work. “Engineers always have to think for everyone involved” He said as he kissed me on my cheek at left through the front door. He never came back. A few days later a man in a dark black suite came to our house and told my mother that they had found him in one of the offices strangled with his belt.
‘Why my daddy?’ So many questions, so few answers. All my mom had said to me is: “It was his time.” I didn’t want to go to the funeral as it only turned out to be about the people that were going to be there and not the reason for the event. But I was still forced to go. The time went by to quickly.
Everything passing like a big blur and before I knew it, they were covering his grave with dirt and my mother was dragging me along to the car. I had put up a great fight to go back, I didn’t want to leave him there. But she promised me we would visit as often as we could spare the time. Which turned out to be not as often as she intended it to sound.
I turned quickly from the cabinets reflecting glass to head up to my room, but it was too late. A set of tears had leaked from my eyes and was making there way down my rosy cheeks. I wiped them of angrily and stomped on to the entrance hall.
As I passed the grand living room with its big sofas and lavish furniture, glass ware and grand piano, I heard the phone ringing just inches away from me. ‘It’s probably just one of Jessica’s boyfriends - as usually - hmmf.’ I thought and just kept walking on and up the staircase.
At the top of the first set of steps as I was about to turn the corner into the hallway to my bedroom, Jacob came from the other way. We almost bumped into one another and for a moment we looked at each other startled. We both laughed lightly. It was always hard for me not to smile or laugh around Jacob, you would hardly ever see him without his bright smile on. Like a pair of shoes or underwear – a necessity more then a luxury.
He looked at me from under his long eyelashes with his brows pulled together in the centre of his forehead over his perfectly proportioned nose and his smile faded. “Why have you been crying again?” He asked sweetly as he looked straight into my eyes that were still wet. I stood there for a minute not sure what to say, he knew me to well to lie, but I tried anyway. “Nothing, I was just going to my room. How about you? You look nice, going on a date?”
My eyes scanned his outfit from head to tow. His naturally blond head of hair nicer gelled then normally. His shirt was a button down with dark and lighter blue strips, which highlighted his ocean blue eyes perfectly. Always making sure it opened ever so slightly at the collar to reveal his dark tanned skin and a gold cross that belonged to his grandfather. A pair of designer torn jeans that fitted perfectly around his well toned legs and black shoes with buckled detail. Definitely an outfit suited for a date night. But since it was only Thursday night, I had to presume the reason was something ells. Jake hardly ever went out on a week night unless it was important.
“No, just going out with some friends.” He said smiling his crooked smile. “Oh.” Was all I could get out, ‘That is strange?’ I thought. Him being who he was, that surprised me. He was a faithful learner and the mid-term was next week, something was up.
He looked at me for another few seconds as he absorbed my response. He took my hand in his and said, “You should come with. You need to get out more often, it’s not healthy to sit around the house all the time.” I nearly shrieked when I looked down at my hand in his. His touch was warm on my cold shaky hands.
‘He is your brother for heavens sakes, get a grip.’ The one voice in my head said, ‘Yes, but not by blood.’ The other answered. A tug of war was happening inside me. “Maygan, do you hear me?” He asked at my blank and distant expression. “Yes.” I answered quickly pulling my face away from our hands and his glaring eyes, embarrassed he might see in them what my heart and head were saying. “So?” He asked. Narrowing his eyes, they were filled with amusement and playfulness at my expression. His crooked smile was back in its place. “Maygan.” His voice a soothing husk as the sound of my name came from deep within his throat.
Before I could answer the front door swung open with a force and was slammed shut by Jessica with one foot. “Can’t you people just get a phone around here?!” she screamed grinding her teeth together as she rushed to answer the again ringing phone from the grand living room. She flung her parcels on the floor and grabbed the receiver of the cordless phone. “Who is it!” She answered rudely.
“I didn’t even hear it.” Jacob chuckled looking at me. “Me neither.” I said and we smiled at each other. He looked in to my eyes and pulled me closer to him, leaned down and kissed me ever so slightly on the cheek. Then rapped his arms around me and held me tight against his warm chest. I couldn’t hold him ‘It would be wrong.’ So I just let my arms hang at my sides and rested my head on his chest. My heart was pounding so hard I was scared he could hear it.
I could hear Jessica talking on the phone but wasn’t interested enough to pay any attention. Jacob gave a big sigh and my head move up and down on his big chest. He tilted his head down and kissed my hair, then pulled me away from him just enough to look me in the eyes. He smiled lightly narrowing his eyes, like he was searching for something. “I worry about you.” He finally said stroking my cheek till it flushed red. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine. Really.” I said almost sounding giddy. But he knew better then that. He took my face in both his hands making my cheeks flare from his warmth, even if it is the middle of November he was so warm.
He leaned in closely to my face. I couldn’t breath. I was frozen, just starring in his ocean blue eyes. Then he quickly jabbed forward and kissed me on my forehead. He straitened up and starred at my startle face. A laugh echoed from his chest. “You didn’t honestly think I would kiss you on your mouth, May?” He said with a smug grin on his face. I looked at my feet and wished the floor would open up and swallow me whole. He slid his fingers under my chin and lifted it so that my eyes where looking straight into his. We gazed at each other for a few moments before we were interrupted.
“Maygan, like how many times do I have to call out your name before you attempt to answer me?!” Jessica said storming into the entrance hall and swinging the phone in my direction. “How about never?! …So? … What do you want?” I said grinding my teeth.
Only then did I notice that Jake was looking at me. His eyes were narrowed and filled with lightning. He dropped his hand from my chin. He never liked it when Jessica and I fought, but never said much. “Well for starters there’s a phone call for you!” Jessica said. I looked at Jake as he walked around me and down the staircase. “Did you hear what I said?!” Jessica screamed at me again, “Yes, you don’t have to scream at me.” I stormed down the stairs after Jake. “Well then answer me!” Jessica screamed a few octaves higher.
“I didn’t get the question, you dumb blond!” Jake just turned on his heals slightly in my direction and looked at me through the corners of his eyes. His mouth was in a tight line. “I am not dumb!” she screamed back stomping her feet like a little child. She turned and disappeared through the grand living room towards the kitchen. “What?” I asked looking at Jake, his expression one I knew to well. His hand was already on the door. “I wish you would try, just try, to be civil with her. That’s all I’m asking.” He said as he open the door and stepped in the doorway. “Have a nice night.” He added sarcastically as he closed the door behind him.
I stared after him frozen until I heard the roar of his cars engine fade as he drove of. It’s like I became a different person with her, I don’t get it. It took me a few moments before I realized what the fight was about in the first place. “Oh, the phone.” I whispered running to the grand living room. ‘I wonder who could be phoning me?’
I entered the kitchen looking for Jessica. “Okay, that is enough already. The two of you are driving me up the walls! Now stop fighting for 5 minutes!” Lucile said as she was busy adding the finishing touches to the table for a romantic evening with her new millionaire husband, who was expected home from work at any minute. “But mom, you always …” “No butt’s Maygan, I’m tiered of this fighting all the time.” Lucile replied. “I agree with you Lucile …” “Oh shut-up!” I grabbed the cordless phone from her hand. “Cow.” I muttered as I walked away. She gasped.
“Hello, this is Maygan.” I answered trying to sound happy, Jessica only pulled her face in discus and rolled her eyes as she turned away but only far enough to still hear what is about to be said.
“Hey, Maygan, this is Vick. I don’t know if you remember me, we met at Adam’s party the other night and exchanged numbers so here I am calling you.” The deep voice said. “Oh yeah I remember you, I’ve kind of been waiting for your call.” I replied, ‘Why did I say that,’ I pulled my face in painful expression ‘it makes me sound desperate. I don’t want to sound desperate, I want him to work for it. It’s the last ting I need. A guy thinking he can get it this fast.’ I argued . “Well I’m sorry I was a bit busy with my studies and my football, if you get what I’m saying here.” He said. “Oh that’s okay, I’ve been a bit busy to.” I said ‘I wonder if he’ll buy into it.’ I bit on my finger nails only to get a stare from my mom. I rolled my eyes and let go of my hand. She shook her head and walked away with a bowl in both hands.
“So I was wondering if you wanted to get together some time soon, like maybe this weekend, just a movie or something like that?” he asked. “Well, I don’t know about it … can I get back to you on that one?” I replied, while totally redeeming myself! ‘Oh damn. It’s the big bash this weekend and I wanted to go. But Vick will definitely be there. Of course I can sagest we go together. Nice thinkin’ slick.’
“What’s there to think about, it’s just a movie, maybe a pizza and shake afterwards. Just chillin’.” He said sounding disappointed. “Thanks Vick, it sounds really great, but I have to get back to you, I don’t know what my family is planning for the weekend … Okay? … Hey Vick you still there?” I asked sounding panicky, ‘I didn’t want to chase him away, just make him wait a while longer like so many before him.’ “Yeah, I’m still here … so uhh … just check with your parents and uh get back to me as soon as you can.” He replied sounding a bit hesitant. “Okay, uhm … just hold on a minute.” I took the phone and held it tightly in my hand and unfortunately glanced at Jessica hanging by the counter. “Aggg.” She said and rolled her eyes. I stuck out my tongue at her and turned around. In my head I counted to 20 then held the phone back against my ear. ‘I think that’s long enough.’
“Hey Vick you still here?” I asked. “Yeah. Where did you run off to?” he asked sounding bored. “I quickly checked with my family what is up for the rest of the week. But it seems were in luck.” I said smiling into the phone. “Really?” he said. And for a moment I could swear I heard a smile in his voice to. “Yeah, but I was thinking that maybe we could go together to the Big Bash tomorrow night. That’s if your like going.” I replied in a honey coated voice turning a strand of my long light brown hair around my finger. “Sure I’d love to. Uhm … I mean, I’d love to go with you to the Big Bash. Tomorrow night.” He laughed at himself and I smiled. My plan was working. “Okay, how does 8 sound to you?” I said opening the fridge door and taking a look around. “8 sounds great. Perfect. No great.” He said as he stumbled over his own words. “Fab. I’ll see you then. You have a nice night now.” “Yeah, you to sweaty, bye.” And I hung-up the phone.
“I love it when a plan comes together.” I said smiling at my reflection in the closed fridge door. “Who the Bleep is he?” Jessica asked as I grabbed an orange of the table. “None of your Bleeping businesses!” I replied throwing the orange in her direction. “Maygan Mirey Pattinson, what do you think your doing?” Lucile asked angrily as she walked in a moment to soon. “Testing the blond.” I replied running up the stairs to my room making sure everybody heard me slam my bedroom door.
I leaned my forehead against the closed door sighing deeply. I turned around slowly with my head still against the door, gasping for air as I see her sitting on my window frame smiling her wicked little smile.
‘I keep forgetting about her.’ I said to myself. Sitting there was Danielle. If I had to describe her a demon warrior comes to mind. Immiscible with her black hair, a face like an angel, a body like a swimsuit model, the mind of masochist with one purpose in life: to irritate me to death. A smile slowly crept onto my face and then broke into a light giggle.
         “Okay so Victor Van Cover asked you out big deal doesn’t mean your any special, just easy.” She crossed her brown tanned legs over one another. “Oh shut up! What do you know about me in any case?” “Is that a rhetorical question, because it doesn’t really help your case now does it, May?” She said inspecting her nails and rolling her tong over her shiny white front teeth.
         “Right, so Danielle … lets see the pro’s and con’s of Victor Van Cover one more time. For the pro’s we have his wealthy family. He’s smart.” She made a loud snort at that. “He’s a perfect gentleman.” I said with a big smile on my face and a head gesture. “Yeah, if you’re a corps.”
         “A very giving man.” I said with gritted teeth. “Yeah he sure knows how to give it.” She said with a grin. “What’s the punishment for murder in the state of New York for an under aged person, Danielle?” I said back with an equally wide grin.
“Sorry honey you can’t kill something that’s already dead.” “To bad. It would’ve felt mighty good right now.” She laughed, loudly and obscenely making it echo through the room. “Shhh … someone will hear you!” I said putting my index finger over my lips. I walked over to my dresser to get my PJ’s out of the top drawer where I keep them. I was sick of this bickering. I needed sleep. Desperately.
“How did you meet this one again?” she asked me looking all serious. “At Adam Spencer’s annual party last month, remember?” I spit back. “The one you weren’t supposed to be at, yeah I remember. You were so drunk you almost slept with that one guy, what was his name again? Bill? Bob? Guess it doesn’t matter right? ‘As long as it’s just a cute guy.’ That’s the way it works May.” She pitched her voice high to try and mimic Cat. One of my fearslly blond friends from school. The sarcasm dripped from her mouth, though I know it’s not the way I operate, it still stung to know I was so weak. It was the first time I ever used any of that stuff and the next morning I promised myself the last time. Just one night of pressure from the group, I little pot and beer and its over. No self control left.
“You know I don’t do stuff like that.” I said back angrily. “You can fool yourself honey, but I was there, I know what I saw. You were barely capable of keeping your hands off him. What’s going to happen the next time you get stoned and drunk at the same time, huh?” She raised her eye brows and shook her head. “T t t t, poor May. Pop goes the world and no virginity left.” She stuck her index finger in her mouth and pulled it out quickly so that it made a popping sound. It looked like she might pee herself with laughter.
I off course, did not find it funny. “My virginity is mine to give to whom I want. Not a topic of discussion and jokes.” I clicked my tongue angrily. Stomped around and head for the bathroom. Slamming the door behind me.
Danielle didn’t follow me into the bathroom. She knows better then that. And she even once said it grossed her out to see me naked. Even though it was meant offensively, to me it meant a few minutes of peace and quite.
I turned the shiny knob to get the warm water running. I dunked my clothes in the wash bin and stepped inside the shower.
The water over my face was nice. Calming. I couldn’t stop thinking of Vick. I have liked him for so long its almost insane.
And on top of that my friends and I all vowed no serious BF. “Just girls having fun.” I said out loud as I got the shampoo out of the rack. I lather the shampoo on and massage my head a bit. It always helps for a head ache. But considering the extend of mine its meaningless. “Massaging your hair won’t make it look any better.” Danielle shouted from the room. I rolled my eyes and unwillingly rinsed my hair off. She babbled on as I applied conditioner.
My thoughts wandered. ‘The other girls of our group go much further with the guys they hook-up with, accept Michelle. She’s very dainty. Cat is going through a college guy phase. No high school boy should even look at her or the claws come out.’
         I turned the water of, grabbed my towel and stepped out of the shower. Dried off quickly and dressed into my PJ’s. Hair still dripping wet. ‘I thought the shower would’ve helped, but I still feel my blood boil in my veins.’
I opened the door to my bedroom and hurried over to my vanity table. Trying not to let my eyes wonder to much. Hopping she might have left by now. I plugged the hair dryer into the wall socked and switched it on. The sound was even and level.
I caught a glimpse of her in the mirror as she sat on top of the drawer on the opposite wall were I pulled my PJ’s from earlier. I groaned internally as she had her usual wicked smile on her face.
‘Wonder what she’s up to now? I’d like to smack that stupid smile of her façade.’ I thought. Next ting I knew a shock jilted trough me. I through the hair dryer on the floor as it instantly exploded in my hand. It laid on the floor with sparks flying every were. The lights flickered as I held my hand against my chest. I turned just in time to see Danielle fall off the dresser with laughter.
Tears ran over my checks from the shock and pain. I got up instantly and switch the plug of at the wall. ‘Risk on my part I know, but better then trying to explain a burned hole in the carpet.’ I walked over to my desk, took a pen and scribbled two words on a sticky note. Tore it of and walked over to where Danielle was lying on the floor. I hand it to her.
She took the note and examined it. “FUCK OFF!” she read out loud. She got up with no sign of her smile. “Ohh, May. Don’t be such a spoil sport.” She crumbled the note up and tossed it over her shoulder. I only glared at her still holding my hand.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I angrily wiped the tears of my face and chin with my sleeve. I reached for the door and opened it. Putting my injured hand behind my back and smiling, I stepped aside. Jacob entered the room and looked around seeing the hair dryer on the floor and eyeing my wet hair. I looked over at the digital clock, 11:55 it showed the time was. ‘He’s home early. Surprising how fast time goes when your bickering with Danielle.’
“You alright? Must be a power surge. You weren’t scared or anything?” he asked looking concerned. “Ahh … no. It was actually my hair dryer that went haywire on me. No harm, no fowl.” I said adding a light smile to ease him. “Are you sure your alright? An electric shock can be dangerous.” He frowned as he looked at the hand behind my back. I slowly let the hand hang at my side, palm facing back. “Your eyes are wet again.” He said with a sigh. “I have to start my cycle tomorrow. I’m always more emotional during this time.” I said back as I leaned on the dresser smiling at him friendlily. “Oh.” Was al he said back. “ I’m fine Jake don’t worry. And anyways I had physics at one stage too. I know what happens if you get electrocuted.” ‘And now thanks to Danielle I know what it feels like.’ I only smiled at him.
“When are you going to bed? It’s getting late!” he said harshly. “Yes dad. I’m on my way dad! Just getting ready.” I said back and stroke my fingers trough my wet hair. We looked at each other for a brief moment. “Night sweaty! Be carful ‘kay.” “Night dad!” He closed the door. I had to lean back into the dresser, out of breath and with butterfly’s going wild in my tummy.
I examined my left hand. A big red blodge covered my palm and fingers. I moved my fingers to ease the pain and only made it worse. I moaned and tucked my hand against my chest again. I looked around the room to see where she hide when Jake came in. But to my surprise she was nowhere to see.
I smiled. ‘She finally got the message. Good. Now maybe I can get on with my life. Not have to get reminded what an idiot I am all the time.’ I thought as I walked over to the vanity and took a bottle of lotion off it. I applied a big blob of the lotion on my left hand. As I gently rubbed it over the redness a sigh of relief escaped my mouth. It was soothing.
I looked up at the mirror and saw my wet hair. “Ohh man.” I said out load with a grown. ‘My hair is still wet. Frizz! I could always borrow Jessica’s dryer … defiantly not! I’d rather die then ask her for anything.’ I eyed the small blue hair dryer on the floor. ‘Will I give it another try. She is gone now.’ I looked at my enflamed hand and shook my head. ‘Not a chance. I was lucky it was my left hand. By the look of it, it’s going to be a while before I can properly use it again. And with the mid-term exams next week, not such a good idea.’
I walked over to my bed and switched my bed light on. Yellow light filled the room. I looked at the switch startled. ‘Nothing happened.’ Looking in every corner, I scanned the room one more time for Danielle. Still no wicked smile in sight. I sighed as I made my way towards the light switch. I stared at it hesitantly for a moment. ‘Will I?’ I asked myself. I touched the switch quickly. Nothing.
I flicked the switch and walked over to my bed. ‘Paranoid!’ I opened the blankets and climbed in. Snuggled in, I cursed myself for not switching the bed light of first. I moaned and reached over, again hesitantly, and flicked the switch. ‘Paranoid!’ Finally it was dark and quiet. Now I can sleep.
‘Not with your luck.’ I sighed. ‘My head is to full of nonsense. Like Jake, Vick and Danielle. What’s with the ‘Sweaty’ and ‘Honey’ thing. I don’t look that young. In fact I think I look older then most girls my age.’
The wind blew the tree outside my window making it scraped against the glass. I pulled my blanked closer to me. Winter was definitely in the air.
‘Yes ok, I have to admit it is a little weird maybe Jake has a crush on me. He is the only person in the world that believes I’m better then just a fifth wheel on the wagon. He sees me the way I am. Just May. No hang-ups. No hidden agenda.’ I yawned and closed my eyes. ‘Simple yet complicated at the same time. Interesting as he would put it.’ A gentle tear ran down my nose as deep sleep took my conscience.