Your Loving Daughter

Dear Family
Dear Friends
I’m sorry
I must go
I am lost
So very alone
Don’t think of me
No one did when I was still here.
Don’t miss me
Because I was never there once before.
I’m sorry to cause you pain
But mine was too much to bear.
I’m sorry to bring this burden upon you
But mine crushed me in the end.
I fought for as long as I could
But I guess it wasn’t enough
I never thought I’d give in
But apparently I was too weak.
It hurts me to know how much you hurt
But that just adds to the hurt I already have.
Its not fair to make me to live
Its not fair to let me die.
I don’t know what started this
But I know this is the end.
I can’t understand why
But I know it’ll be no longer.
As soon as the deed is done
I will then finally be free.
I’m sorry mother
For being so selfish.
I’m sorry sister
For being such a burden.
I love you so much
That’s why I must do this.
I thought I could deal with this
On my own.
And this is how I’ve decided
Would be the very best possible way.
I have nothing more to live for
Nothing left of my pathetic life.
I am worth nothing
Just another being in the sea of billions
So what’s the deal
If I subtract one.
You won’t miss me
After too long
I won’t blame you
I wouldn’t miss me either.
I’m so sick of this
I hate feeling this way
I hate not being able to feel
Or only feeling pain.
If this is what life is
I want no part of it
A senseless, uncaring force
Driving us along.
Not caring about the outcome.
So, dear family
My dear friends
It is time for me to go
I love you so much
But I cannot love myself.
I can’t mean anything to the world
When I don’t mean anything to myself
Take care of yourselves
Don’t remember this
Don’t remember the scarlet painting
Splattered all over my bedroom floor
Don’t remember the gun lodged in my hand
A symbol of the value of life
Remember the fun we had
Remember the memories we’ve made
But most of all please
Just remember me.

Signed, your loving Daughter