My Very 1st Blog

Umm well this is like my 1st blog ever. Someone suggested i start one, so i figure why the hell not i got time. So hmmm where do i start. I guess something about me, for starters, 22yr old dyke from nyc. I guess that's all you need to know for now. I'm only writing this cus i know someone who is real interested in my life and how i feel and what i have to say. With that said, she's someone I'll call  Gena. My bestfriend, of almost 2yrs. But she's not just my best friend, I'm inlove with this woman. Let me also mention i do have a gf of almost a yr which i do love too, we'll call her jenny, and Gena is a hetrosexual complete with a bf I'll call Matt. So yeah I'm inlove with a staight girl who's inlove with her bf as well as me who loves her gf. Did i lose you?? Haha.



I guess I'll start off at the beginning before getting into what's happening now. Me and Gena met 2yrs ago almost on some website. I didn't think much at first cuz she lived in a diff state, so before anyting started i msged her and said no getting attached. I soooo jinxed it. Anyway we ended up talking on an off then just completely off. Then i lost my contacts and got back to talking with Gena and it was just great conversation all day everyday, she became a friend =). During that time she was kinda sorta with Matt, he sucked as a "bf" to be honest. Few mths later i actually started to develop feelings like i liked Gena. She liked me as well just didn't say anything to me about it. Smh. But eventually it got out and we both had a thing for eachother. We spent a few days together which was just amazing to me. Like whooaaa i was soo falling for her. But he had Matt and i had a gf which i didn't really care for, so she couldn't really be with me. So then all this shit happend and Matt found out and blahblahblah i got banned. But we still had our lil w.e you want to call it.



Okay soo that's enough background. So my gf Jenny i actually met her thru Genas best friend. It wasn't suppose to happen like that, but shit happens. I done some pretty fucked up things to Gena and said some hurtful things too which i am sorry for and I'm glad she can forgive me and move on. But yeah Jenny i do love her, i have feelings for her, she's beautiful and really sweet. Then i have Gena, I'm completely inlove with her. She's someone i know ima have in my life forever. Things get hard when your living a double life. I hate lying to Jenny and cheating on her with Gena, but i can't stay away, Gena makes my heart flutter, she can always pick me up after a bad day, she's like everything i want. But reality is, she wants Matt, i know she loves me but she loves him too, if it came down to it shed chose him over me. But is okay cuz i know a piece of her heart is always gona be wiith me.



Now my gf Jenny, she recently left back to another state, i do miss her. She's not the perfect gf, she can be real mean an abusive. I lost alot just for being with her. I never been so whipped in my life. Gena always offers me support and advice i just don't take it. I stay with Jenny cus i do have feelings and if i left her i'd be sad honestly. Sometimes I'm okay with it then at times I'm not and i need her. Past few days we been good nnot as much fighting, so hopefully it stays like that and we trying to make this relationship work.



My hands getting cramped here so lets see what else I'm leaving out. Hmmmmmm.. Sometimes i secretly wish Gena and Matt would break up for good. I don't want them together, ugh it irks me she's with him, i love her sooo much, i think I'm better then him, and she makes me feel sooo special, considering i am the only girl she ever been with ;) sometimes i feel she loves me more then Matt but would never act on it cus she's unsure about beng ina actual relastionship with me. Blah =/ ummss i thinks i got it all. So yeah next blog you'll be all caught up. Til then l8rz!