Faith or Works

The mouth speaks, but is it enough to get Gods attention on the matters of the moment that seem most important? Is my sense of urgency to see and do things done the way God senses; do I not do enough to receive more than sufficient grace? Is it works; is it faith, faith by works? Does He wait to do a work in us before He does a work for us; is not a work for us a work done in us? What kind of work is that and what kind of faith do I need to make that work faith, that faith work? Faith of a mustard seed, quite a small seed, how much smaller is my faith is I don't receive answered prayer? How many men of "great faith" have had faith as small as that seed or even smaller than mine? What does it take to know God is listening, how do I listen when I feel that God isn't speaking? I know He sits silent at times and watches to see what we do with that time without Him and time without people. It gives loneliness a new meaning. And I wonder what would make me feel more alone in this life; life without companionship or life without God run the race and fight the good fight but I feel like I'm getting my butt kicked and finishing last in the race. I confess, in both written and spoken word, how my mind and heart are consumed with inhibitions. I worry how God views me. There is no more of me to express to God how I feel unless He is waiting to see my works.
I have always considered myself a good worker or a hard worker, but now that I look back at the fruits of my labor, I see that maybe I have been lying to myself more than I wanted to believe. There is no fruit in the basket. I have told myself lies about my labor and about my strength; it isn't there or at least not the way I had believed it to be. "His grace is sufficient" but not for me. I feel that is just for the ones who give up heart and quit believing God does great works. I'm beginning to believe that His grace is sufficient for me