Wondering

As she layed in her bed thinkin of the guy she loved with all her heart and knowing he didnt feel the same, she cried. She knew she couldnt make him love her too. He had fallin out of love with her months ago. She just layed there in her bed looking at his picture crying and screaming why, over and over. She knew it was over but she didnt want to let go. They were still seeing each other but not "going steady". She misses the sound of his voice whispering "I love you" softly in her ear. It hasnt happened for a while. She knew he didnt love her and he wanted out...so why didnt he just go? She screamed and screamed as tears flooded her eyes, she couldnt let him go..she wanted him back, she loved him with all her heart. Even when hes there she feels so alone because she knows...she knows he doesnt feel the same. She wished with all her heart that things had never changed but what can she do now? His arm on her shoulder feels so nice but so fake. She looks into his eyes and doesnt see what she saw before...she sees no emotion at all when before she saw everything she ever needed. She knows she caused it, she caused his love to fade. Shes so upset she throws her pillow at the wall while sobbing and sobbing knowing what she had done and all she wanted to do is get it back! She cant take it, she cant the pain of not having his love, not even having his friendship, just having a physical relationship. She wanted more than that! She wanted that feeling of a  romantic love that she once had with him. Looking at picture of them together with tears rolling down her cheeks she screams " ITS MY FAULT! IM SORRY! She hears him coming up the driveway. She runs to the door and as she opens it he kisses her sweetly and askes her to marry him. With a big smile on her face and the tears rolling down her cheeks she accepts! They go out to dinner and a movie, then the big day comes. They are so happy that they cant contain themselves! All the sudden she hears the doorbell, shes in her room still on her bed with a tear stained face....it was all a dream...she is still alone and in pain, she wonders, "Will things ever go back to the way they were?"