a word out to you

Dear ___?

The lake is near calm. Dragonflies are flitting heavily, a chorus of little sewing machines clacking about. I love my lake, mostly undeveloped, all mine. It is ringed by swamp/tamaracks/pines. I float here as often as I am able, in this gentle water, surrounded by wilderness/complete silence. For years I thought this was all I needed. I was wrong, oh so wrong.
I have finally reached a point where i can no longer deny I want your presence. I have searched for you, over the years, in a distracted sort of way.

you are a raindrop sliding down my cheek 
you are a quiet song
longing to be sung

you are water
filled with tears     

you disintegrate me     
you are the small moment
before a kiss

I know who you are
I know you
as I pretend myself into solitude

What am I like?

My friends all seem to agree I am the funniest person they know.
I am quiet, thoughtful, sensitive.
Reading, writing, rock-picking, history, Rilke, Pessoa, TE Lawrence, R Service, Dickinson, Kerouac, Wilfred Thesiger, Edward Curtis, VVGogh, photography, architecture, forests and water - in it, on it, ooooo how i adore the water.
I like to accelerate through the corners.
I believe John Muir died of a broken heart over Hetch-Hetchy.
I love The Letters of Vincent Van Gogh.
I'll get there, provided I can stay out of my own way.
I like taking pictures of old buildings.
The sound of an OLD Ferrari turns me on.
Lake Superior IS my religion.
I adore Radiohead with every cell of my being.
Comfortable. Intelligent. Analytical. Silly. Passionate. Sensual.
I believe silence can speak volumes.
Your hands will speak to me.
I am a terrible cook.
I want to find a companion with whom i can experience something real, full of intrinsic and instrumental value.
I want to wrap my hands around your essence.
I know exactly where on earth I belong. I will forget that to find with who I belong.
I want to feel the vibrations of sincerity.
I am practical, and sometimes unpredictable.
I love the piano, unaccompanied.
I adore winter, with its definite silence.
Pablo Fajardo just might be my hero.
I don't believe soul-mates are found, they are made, with willingness and love.
I am quite shy, it may take me a while to get comfortable with someone new.
I can be around another person without feeling a need to fill silences with incessant jabbering.
I have a calendar hanging on my wall that is on the correct month about half of the time, and i am not very good about answering my phone when it rings.
I have more joy and wonder in me than I think I can bear, at times.

I want someone to share myself with, someone unafraid of honesty, unafraid of devouring all the pleasures this world has to offer when you forget about what you're supposed to do and listen to what your soul is clamouring for, underneath all that duty and procedure people stack about themselves thinking it may protect them from their dragon within. I say feed the beast, feed it well, and you will find it protects YOU.