The phone

John
“Ann.” “Ann” I say once more when she looks up at last. “Hmm” is all she says, her stare blank. It has been just a week, I know it is too soon for her to act like her old self, but I still wish she would. Her hair, a shade of blonde like sand on the beach, is not clean, nor are her clothes, but I don’t say a word, I don’t want to set her off. “Why don’t we take a walk, I could use some fresh air.” I don’t want to take a walk, but I think it would do her some good. “I’d like to stay in if you don’t mind.” How could I mind with all that we have been through? I am sad and hurt too, of course, but for Ann I will be strong.
She still holds that toy bear in her arms at night while we sleep, and she does not seem to mind the fact that the bear takes up more space in the bed than she does. To Ann that bear is more than just a toy, it is a thread of hope, and I won’t be the one to tell her that it is time to give up. “John,” she says, her voice is so weak, it breaks my heart to hear, “when do you think he will come home?” It takes a while for me to speak, I don’t want to lie to her and say what she wants to hear, but I fear that if I tell her the truth, it will crush her. “I don’t know,” is all I say, which is true. Then, the phone rings.

Ann
How am I here, I don’t know how I got out of bed. I ache, not just my bones, but my soul too. I know I am a mess, but that is the last thing on my mind. “Ann,” I hear John say. “Hmm” is all that comes out of me, I do not have the strength to say much more. When he asks me if I want to go for a walk I want to scream “what’s wrong with you, are you nuts?!” I keep my cool though and just tell him that I do not feel up to a walk. I wish I could be as calm as he is, but I am Jack’s mom. With him gone, a part of me is gone too, it is like there is a hole in my heart, and it will be there ‘til Jack comes home.
I sleep with his bear at night, Jack loves that bear and I will keep it safe for him. It smells like him too, so when I hold that bear I like to think it is him in my arms. I know he will come home, as a mom I just know, but when? How long do I have to wait to hug my son again? I pose this to John and he says he does not know when he will be back, and that makes me mad. It is not that he does not know when, but in his voice I can tell he gave up hope. Then, the phone rings."