Trying to burn each layer
as I hold onto an inner strength
I will not relinquish;
a duel to the death.
I confine myself against the onslaught,
years of practice keeping the fire at bay.
Engaged in a tug of war;
my soul at stake.
My identity molded by an overdose of restraint and self-discipline.
Who I am lays entrapped within the confusion;
an in cohesive mixture of layers.
Unrelenting smoke suffocates me;
ridiculing as it tries to construct a bridge
between the hidden fire and unspoken desire.
Acknowledging the scam
will corrupt who I am.
I do not need Hell in order to burn.
I am already consumed by burning, yearning,
embers of an un-wanting want.
Tearing up my insides as it twists and turns,
unrelenting intensity that sometimes it hurts.
Controlling the fires’ need to gain control
leaves me exhausted and numb -
a zombie confined within a shell.
Withdrawn to the world and my own living hell.
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