Sarah Palin: Reviewed

Sarah Palin: Reviewed
11 August, 2009

Author's note: This came about as a strange idea that hit me at work. While standing there with a machine gun in my hand, I wondered if Sarah Palin could actually be a real person. I mean, some of the stuff that comes out of her mouth is so damn bizarre, especially for a self described “Everywoman”. My honest opinion is that some of the guys who write for the Office also write her speeches. So, I thought that it would be funny to treat her as such, and review her “show”. Enjoy.


As a ravenous fan of politics, I have gotten to experience a great deal of magnificent Americans stumble and fail for my entertainment. From Bill Clinton refusing to admit a BJ is still sex, to John Kerry stare blankly at a television camera and alienate thousands of Americans But anymore, one act has stood tall above the others and won it's way into my heart.

The producers of George W. Bush have another potential home run on their hands with Sarah Palin. They took what we loved best about George W Bush and put it in a kinda past it's prime but still hot(ish) female body that is sure to be pleasing to the male target audience. To shake it up further, they wrote Palin as having some sort of wacky Alaskan accent instead of Bush's Texan drawl, making it feel like a new character while still retaining the charm of it's predecessor.

And yet, the Palin character manages to take Bush's classic jackassary in a new direction. Her sons have the names of classes in high school (Track and Trig) and her daughters are named after the Philadelphia suburbs. (Bristol and Willow are named after Bristol Township and Willow Grove respectively, I can't wait until next season when she has another girl and names her Richboro)

Every week, viewers are treated to her insane ramblings or off-the-wall manifestos. Those that tuned in for her resignation speech got to hear what might have been the largest dose of sarcasm and/or irony ever seen on American television. While quitting a battle, she brilliantly compared herself to the American soldier. The obvious look was that she was being ironic, referring to how quitting a fight was not at all a trait in the Soldiers of today. But a closer reading of the speech reveals new layers of complexity. Upon further investigation, she was referring to the fact that both her and American Soldiers should immediately be removed from the shitty, oil rich, depopulated area full of religious nuts they were in. And in fact they should never have been there in the first place. The writer's anti-Iraq war views come through only with multiple watches of her speeches and addresses, giving the show some staying value.

However, one problem with the Sarah Palin show is it's suffocating presence in the American media. For every jewel like the resignation speech, there are a half dozen facebook press releases or off-the-cuff comments that ruin her novelty. Her anger at David Letterman, for instance, was annoying instead of funny, which ultimately helps kill the character for me. When she's at the top of her game, Palin's tomfoolery is amazing. However, the rest of the time she just takes up space on CNN that they could have been using to talk about Michael Jackson and how not-alive he is.


Review:

- Appearance: 5/5 The thousands of dollars the producers spent on her outfits really conveys a strong message, and the actress playing her is also kind of a MILF. Or a FVPCILF (Failed Vice Presidential Candidate I'd Like to F***)

- Originality: 3/5 Comparing yourself to a soldier isn't that creative, but her extravagant application of irony makes for a refreshing change of pace.

- Writing: 4/5 Her Python-esque shenanigans are often complex and multi-layered. However, some of her press releases become just plain awkward instead of humorous.

- Availability: 2/5 This show is very overexposed. To preserve the joke, she needs to be on the air much less.

- Overall: B- While expertly disproving the existence of a merciful God and debunking any myths about the legitimacy of the Conservative agenda, Sarahs' misadventures in the media do make for a moderately amusing way to waste time at work. However, her constant presence on the news is killing the joke and making us all sick of the lame quirks written into her character.