Atonement

Contest entry.
Word count:2881


A horrible sense of dread engulfed her as she quickly drove home, heavy raindrops battering the car and one windshield wiper squeaking. He knew. He wasn't supposed to have found out. It was never supposed to have gone that far in the first place.

What have I done? Anna wondered as the weight of her shame forced the air out of her lungs. She loved her husband, and the thought that she had ruined her marriage, her whole life, over something so meaningless and fundamentally stupid made her stomach cramp and filled her with terror. What was he going to say? Hell, what was she going to tell him? If he'd gotten into her email account as she suspected, an attempt at denial would be futile if not counterproductive. She imagined moving into a place of her own, a 25 year old divorcee, and felt that familiar cramp in her gut that signaled an impending arrival of vomit. She talked her body into not puking, but her hands were shaking, and the sound of her heart beating in her ears was deafening as she pulled into the driveway.

When she walked in the house, Colin was sitting on the couch, resting his head in his hands. She stood there for a minute, not knowing what to do or say. “Hey,” she whispered eventually. Colin looked up, his kind and gentle baby-face wet with tears.

“Why?” he asked with a tortured grimace distorting his face.

“I don't know, Colin,” Anna whispered.

Colin's facial expression then changed from a look of pain to one of angry revulsion. “How can you not know?” he roared. He stood up and walked toward her, radiating fury, and screamed “HOW?”

Anna began began to cry, hit with the gravity of her actions and seeing in agonizing clarity the unspeakable, horrifying pain that she had inflicted upon her spouse.

“At first we were just friends,” she desperately muttered through her tears as she walked towards her husband, wanting to hold him closely. “Then we flirted. I don't know. I felt like I was 17 years old again. It was fucking stupid.”
She put one hand on his shoulder, but he flinched and backed away, looking at her as if she were a rotting corpse or worse.

“No, no,” he said, backing away from her, shaking his head. “We're over. You knew this was a deal breaker.” She felt light headed, and everything seemed to be happening in slow-motion, almost like watching other people moving under a strobe light. Now he was crying again and walking towards the closet.

“Colin,” she pleaded. “Please, no. Please. Please don't leave.” Her desperation was extreme, and she was pleading like a woman at gunpoint begging for her life.

“There is no coming back from this, Anna,” he screamed as he grabbed a duffel bag from the closet. She watched with a dream-like sense of surreality as he began to pack his bag.

“No, NO,” she cried as she ran to him. She buried her head into his chest and held onto him for dear life, sobbing. “Please, please. One more chance. I'm so sorry, my sweet Colin. Please.” She began to rub her hands up and down his back and sides. Suddenly, she wanted to make love to him more than she had ever wanted anything in her life. Some primitive part of her subconscious mind had apparently formulated a strategy to save her marriage; seduce him now, and he might stay. She slid one hand down and tenderly grabbed his butt and kissed his neck. “Please, please,” she whimpered in his ear. “We'll get through this.”

“Stop it,” Colin said, but she thought she heard ambivalence in his voice.

“We will get through this, I promise,” she whispered in his ear as she moved her other hand to the crotch of his pants. To her relief, the plan she didn't recall making was already working; she found the beginnings of a bulging firmness there. She stroked his cock through his pants while kissing him lightly on his neck. “I will make everything alright again, and we will make it through this,” she whispered as she began to unbuckle his belt.

Colin sighed a hesitant sigh of resignation. “Let's go into the bedroom,” he said, defeated.

In the bedroom, Anna breathed a sigh of relief and undressed while Colin sat on the bed, watching with a strange look on his face. Anna wondered what he was thinking. Before she had time to think more about it, he said “Come here?” and began unbuttoning his pants. “Will you get on your knees?” he asked as he pulled out his dick. Anna knelt down on the floor and began gently kissing, and then softly licking, his penis. Colin tenderly grabbed a handful of her hair with one hand, and began stroking the side of her face with the other hand. As she took the head of his dick in her mouth and began playing with that small, particularly tender ridge with her tongue, lapping at it like a kitten lapping up milk, licking from that ridge up to the hole in the head of his cock, lapping up his precum and then her tongue back down to that ridge to lap her tongue at that sweet spot all over again, and oh, it made him melt when she did that, he remembered that she was probably doing this same thing to some...guy...when? Yesterday? His rage and jealousy pulsed and grew alongside his sexual arousal, brewing and blending, morphing eventually into one synapse-exploding singularity.

“Are you mine?” he whispered moments after she began deeply sucking his cock.

Anna paused, looked up and him with tears in her eyes, and softly said, almost whining, “Yes, baby.”

He looked at her, at those big, pleading brown eyes, at that barely noticeable scar on her chin that she said she got while mountain climbing in high school, and thought for a moment before saying “Get on your hands and knees, on the bed.” Anna climbed up as he moved over, first to make room for her, and then to position himself behind her.

“Put your head down but keep your ass in the air.”
Anna did so, wet with anticipation, eagerly awaiting the sensation of his cock sliding into her vagina.

“Stretch your arms out in from of you. Yeah, like that. Now spread your palms and fingers flat. Yeah. Yeah. Do not clinch your fists. Keep your hands exactly as they are right now, no matter what. Do you understand?”

“Okay.” She heard him rustling behind her, the jingle of his pants, and thought he was taking them off.

“I am so fucking mad at you,” he quietly uttered with a touch of hysteria in his voice, the metalic jingling sound of his keys in his pants and belt buckle finally becoming silent.

A second later, with his belt in his hand, Colin delivered the first strike to her ass. The sound of the leather hitting her skin reverberated throughout the room. Anna cried out in pain and started to get up.

“Get back down,” he said coldly.

What the fuck? Anna wondered. Remembering how close he was to walking out the door not 5 minutes before, she reluctantly put her head back down, frightened and shaking all over, steeling herself for more.

“Palms flat, fingers out. Don't move again. I am dead serious,” Colin said. He sounded like a stranger to them both.

Seconds later, the belt struck again. This time, while Anna cried out, she refrained from moving.

“Good girl,” Colin panted, extremely aroused by the sight of her obedience and the pink welts forming on her ass. He struck again, this time harder.

“SHIT!” Anna screamed, but she didn't move except to lurch forward slightly. Her head remained pressed against the bed, the scent of the fabric softener vivid in her mind, her ass in the air, fully vulnerable, and she forced herself to keep her arms out. Not clinching her fists was proving to be the most difficult part of all. Every time the leather met her skin, it was like a bolt of electricity shot to her groin, finger tips, and toes.

“Spread your legs some and arch your back some more. I want to be able to see your asshole while I do this to you,” he demanded, his voice wavering. Anna complied.

Whack. The sound of belt meeting flesh echoed throughout the room, the hardwood floor seeming to amplify the noise. Anna gasped and winced.

“Did you let him fuck you in the ass?” Colin asked, disturbingly aroused by the idea of a dick, not necessarily his dick, but any dick fucking that sweet little asshole he was looking at.

“No!” Anna responded under her breath, indignantly. “Of course not. I'm not into that with anyone.”

Colin delivered another strike, then three more rapidly. Most of her cute little ass was beet red now, and Anna was gasping for breath.

“I am so, so fucking mad at you,” Colin angrily whispered again before he delivered the hardest and surest blow yet. Anna let out a sob but remained in position.

“Are you mine?” Colin asked again, urgently. Just the sight of that pink little ass and that tight little asshole had him woefully close to premature ejaculation.

“Yes,” she pleaded, hoping the ordeal was finally over.

She heard him spit into his hand. “I'm going to fuck you in the ass. Do you understand?” he asked angrily.

For the first time since they entered the bedroom, Anna didn't know what to do. She really detested the thought of anal sex. She thought it was extremely gross. Colin had talked her into trying it once, early in their marriage, but his dick didn't even make it in half of an inch before the nausea-inducing ache up her spine and terrible burning sensation had her crawling away, desperate to make it stop. She remembered him saying "I'm going to sodomise you," right before it hurt too much for him to continue.

“I don't want you to,” she cried out.

“I don't give a shit if you want me to or not!” Colin yelled, climbing onto her and forcing her body flat against the bed. He grabbed a handful of her hair, pulled her head back slightly, and positioned his dick right against her asshole. “This is your one chance. If you tell me to stop right now, we will end this. Otherwise, I will continue.”

Trying to process the fear and confusion, Anna quickly mulled over his words. If you tell me to stop right now, we will end this. Otherwise, I will continue.

Pressing his cock firmly against her asshole and giving it a little wiggle, he asked again “Are you mine?”

“Yes,” Anna cried out.

“I am going to fuck you in the ass.” Colin angrily whispered in her ear. He pulled on her hair tighter, more painfully. “Do you understand?”

“Okay! Shit!” Anna screamed, the words coming out with a surprising amount of venom.

Colin let go of her hair and sat up a little bit. He looked at her red, beaten ass and his cock on the verge of entering her asshole. He roughly rubbed one swollen ass cheek, and then the other. Then he pushed the head of his dick in.

“Ooww,” Anna cowled as she writhed in pain.

Colin firmly grabbed one ass cheek and rubbed it with his thumb viciously as he pulled the head of his cock out and inserted it back in again several times. His hands felt like fire on her butt, and his dick was sending a shooting pain up her spine each time he pushed it in, relief only coming when he pulled it out again. Her own body was betraying her – the skin in and around her anus stung and burned horribly each time her muscles contracted in an involuntary attempt to push his cock out.

“Aaah, that really hurts, Colin. Seriously,” Anna cried out as she started trying to squirm away.

“I don't really give a shit if this hurts you, Anna," he yelled as he grabbed a handful of her hair and one of her wrists, pinning her down. “But you have to relax,” he said as he stuck the head of his cock back in. “Relax that little asshole, Anna” he whispered persuasively. With a herculean effort, Anna loosened her anus.

“Good girl” Colin sweetly cooed, and he began gently stroking her back. “Stay loose just like that, and it won't hurt so bad.”

“Are you mine?”

“Yes.” With that, he slid his cock into her ass a few inches more. He felt the pleasant sensation of her anus tensing. Anna felt lightheaded and nauseaous, the pulsing ache and stinging sensations on the cusp forcing her body into trying to crawl away and begging for it to stop.

“Put your arms out and put your hands flat against the bed again,” he said with his cock still a few inches in her ass. After she complied, he started gently stroking her back up and down again, brushing her soft, long, silky hair off her back. “Now relax,” he commanded, soothingly and lovingly. He felt her rectum untighten. The abatement in the pain for Anna was like finding an oasis in a desert.

“Do not clinch your fists or move. If you do, we go back to the belt and start over again.”

Anna shuddered. Then she relaxed.

“I'm about to make myself come with your asshole, Anna. From here on out, I'm not going to be sympathetic or gentle. If you relax, it won't be so bad for you. It's tighter...” and with the word “tighter” he shoved his cock in a couple of more inches “...and better for me if you fight it.” Colin wiggled on top of her, putting his knees in the perfect spots to fuck her until he came, taking in the sight of her red butt and his dick inserted halfway in her asshole. “Your asshole is about to get fucked, and hard, Anna. Do you understand me?"

“Yes,” she whimpered.

“Are you mine?”

“Yes.”

He grabbed one of her hips with one hand and pressed her face into the mattress with the other, and started pumping with abandon. Her asshole was tighter than he had imagined. Glorious. Remembering his promise to start over again with the belt if she clinched her fists, he sat up again and checked. Good girl.
Anna was sobbing. Each thrust had her on the cusp of puking from the pain, which radiated like a muscle cramp from her anus up her back and into her eyes. With each plunge Anna prayed he would finally come.

“Loosen it up,” he gently reminded her as he kissed her back, taking pity on her. She went deep into her own mind and found a way to force her body to obey her mind's will. He felt her untighten her rectum. He pushed even harder, and she moaned in pleasure for the first time, relatively free of the pain and finding herself somewhat aroused by the degrading nature of what was happening.

He grabbed her hips and told her to finger herself and rub her clit while he finished with her asshole. He entered her again and pumped as hard as he could. Anna's pain was washing over her in progressively less frequent waves. Due to her increasing skill level at making her body obey her will in accepting the presence of his member, combined with the pleasant stimulation she was giving herself as she furiously rubbed one finger back and forth over her clitoris, she found herself enjoying it.

"I'm almost done... almost done...just another second...almost done," Colin panted under his breath, unwilling to stop despite her cries and twists and wiggles as he held onto her hips with all his strength. Finally, he felt her quiver, gasp and collapse in orgasm as he began to shoot his load deep into her bowels .



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Anna slunk down in the bath, somewhat floating, letting the water level almost reach her nose. Grimly, she wondered, Did you just let yourself get ass-raped by your own husband? That doesn't happen every day.
She imagined being divorced and found that option even more repulsive, although she found that a small part of herself kind of hated him now.

She dried off and looked at her butt in the mirror and gasped. The whipping had hurt, but she had no idea it would look that bad.
She crawled into bed with Colin, who appeared to be sleeping.

"You awake?" she whispered, gently shaking his shoulder.

"MmmHmm..."

"Hey, don't ever do any sort of shit like that ever again."

Colin opened his eyes and thought for a minute. "You, too, okay?" he replied, his eyes reflecting a deep, black sadness laced with fear, and it was impossible to tell if it was over her sins or his, or both.

She knew exactly what he meant by his words, and turned her face away, closing her eyes. "Yeah," she whispered with a quiet laugh, cynically. Burying her nose in the crook of his neck, they both drifted off to a fitful sleep.