Rainy Mornings

I watched him go. I was at my usual place, behind the glass to the world outside and the world inside.The window sealed protection, he told me. I believed him. I stayed inside this box of sorrow, waiting for him to come back for me. He always came back. I would have my suitcase at the door, ready to move on when he decided to come back in my life. He, my soul mate. Drugs made him cold some nights. I wanted warmth, but a chill surpressed me. He keeps the lights off, because he says we don't need to see the truth.I wanted so badly to see light. I wanted to know the truth behind those golden eyes. This glass frame keeps

me from breathing in the outdoor scent. He forbids it. He says I only need to breath his air. All I breath is the drug that killed him, and turned him away from me. When he leaves for weeks at a time, I feel unsafe. I can feel the memories of warm past days creep in and whisper in my ear, 'remember' But he keeps the lights off and I am scared to go against his wishes. I want to be loved, and I need him to be there. I keep the lights off, so that he will return. I have my suitcase ready to go again, but he comes and I began unpacking all those hopes back in the closet. Life was him to me. He was everything I needed and then some. I remember a time not long ago when he whispered those three words and pulled me close. He mouthed my name, but no words were heard. I smiled and felt my lips crack from lack of attention. He placed his hand to my heart and said, 'I am here. Need I be any where else..' I placed my hand over his and closed my eyes. Rainy mornings were worst when it was all the sound heard in our glass box. It got colder

and colder, until his breath came a mist and mine mixed with his. He said nothing, but took another wiff of his murderer.I swallowed my cries, and felt them freeze there. The darkness never seemed to cover the light of the drug. It was always

there, teasing me. He asked me if I would like to join him. I turned away and didn't talk with him for months. Silence was our love for each other. It was how he told me he cared. If noise was heard, then he was angry. When it rained he went

away. I missed him deeply. I boarderd all the glass openings to the outside world. I made darkness find a way in day. I knew he would be pleased. I sat there in his flame and waited as life continued. He never showed. I began to question the darkness.Was it what he wanted. I awoke his murderer, knowing it would drive him in. His murderer taunted me to its side. I placed a finger upon its surface. It felt like his hands. I touched its flame, and it felt like his breath. I breathed it in. It felt like his touch. I took in its flame, and I was with him again. He was there in my memory. He was everything I wanted and then some. He whispered those three words, I rarely knew. He mouthed my name, but no words were heard. I reached to touch him, but he flinched. I breathed in the drug more, and was able to feel his hand. He let me feel his hard, cold face. I flinched at the touch. The drug was taken in more, and I could feel his finger tips brush my lips. I opened my eyes to see nothing but our glass box surrounding me. The flame was gone. He was gone. I found my suitcase that moment and filled it with him. I filled it with his flame. I brought it to the middle of our glass box and sat it aflame. I walked out the door not looking back at our glass box, that was nothing more than a mere flame.