Poems And Such

               
                          Warning

there is a evil burning in my soul.
yes, an evil burning out of control.
these thought should not be thought.
brought by  my vengeance oh what a though.
Death, Destruction, all is fair,
if one truly wishes to  bare the burden 
of care.
i bid you all beware,
the evil is burning fed by my hate.
hidden in darkness forever to wait.
until that dastardly date.
when fate decides to free my hate.       

                          Who Am I ?

Have i lost my self to false hopes of wealth?
Have i betrayed the true me for false hopes of glory? 
What happened to the true me? How could i have lost me?
I have indeed betrayed  my self for false  ides and false Identity's

All my life i have been trying to be something other then me. But now all i have to show for it is nothing but misery, leaving my soul in nothing but disarray.
So many memories that bring unto me nothing but sorrow and misery about that person i use to be

Who am i? I see that person in the mirror and i am filled with fear.
For the figure in the mirror is not me, but a forgotten memory of who and what i use to be.
How did i become who i am today?
When did i stray from my reality and become what i fear to be?
Have i lost the true me? Or merely my sanity?
How could it be? How could i forget me?

                                      Lost

I sit here all alone.
Thinking thought's of long ago
Thinking of tragedies and fears since long has past
Thinking of lies and deceit
Thinking of love and heart brake
Here i walk all alone through this labyrinth  of life
Here i am lost again
Dose any one know i am here?
Dose any one care?
I am yelling for help can any one hear me ?
Is this my density? To remain lost in life
never to see the light
NO! it cannot be
I will find my destiny
I will solve this puzzle
I will overcome this difficulty               
I will find my way through this labyrinth of life, this maze of decisions
I will find  my place and discover my Fate

                                No Matter

No matter were i go it all becomes the same,
and i am the one to blame for that is who i am.
My thoughts are all the same
although i try to do things right
all i do is start a fight
and so day becomes like night
smothering all light
why do i still fight for what i feel is right
this curse fallows me were ever i go
although i inflict it upon my self
for i can not control my mouth
i say things i mean not, for what?
Have i forgot?
Could it be i serve a false morality?

              Watching From a Distance

I stand here watching from a distance
Wishing i could spend with you a few minuets
But sadly you don't feel the same
As you look at me with shame
In the beginning i though i had a chance
But now i see i was clearly entranced
You discuss me with your friends
And now they stare and glare
One of which now seems to be what i dream to be
But he is bigger then me and now i believe  he wants to crush me
All because i fell blindly in a dream that can never be
Although there is a small possibility
You waved at me and laughed at me
You even blushed and looked down from me
It is only recently you started ignoring me
And i cant see why
I cant seem to pure my mind of this delightful delusion
That is causing so much confusion
We use to wave a bit and talk a bit
But now it has all quit
Your friend  that now seems to be your boyfriend  has  Always been what he has recently been. The close friend
Something we have sadly never been             
Although i have tried time and time again
To win you as a friend
And maybe then began to try to be a boyfriend
But all i can do is stand at a distance
Wishing for those few wonders minuets
But now it seems the wait could be infinite
For shyness is the fear that my heart holds in it
And for some reason i can not win against it 
                           
      Forgotten Feeling

this feeling is returning yet again
against this feeling i cannot defend
for every time it seems to win
although i have tried time and time again
but i have found no way to win
against this deadly infatuation
and so the story begins yet again
preparing for it end
and i find my self loving a friend
and so attachment begins
leaving my heart defenseless again


                        Web Of Lies

Now my greatest fear has been realized, my loved one has been stolen for i realized a web of  lies
My heart is burdened with so much sorrow, weeping for yesterday and praying for tomorrow
How could doing the right thing fill my heart with so much regret?
These actions i shall never forget
I sit here missing you, wishing you were here by my side
Wishing i had never revealed that lie.
Upon my face i still feel the kiss, the kiss you promised i would never forget
The key to your heart on my neck still remains
Is it wrong to regret doing the right thing?
Tears now soak my face of both honor and disgrace
Doing the right thing always has it price
But this time perhaps the price way to high
And not worth reveling this cursed lie

    Breaking  Free

If this is a hierarchy then i demand a revolution, for it is the only solution
If this is how you want the world to be, then thank  god you are not a deity
You demand to be treated as a king, when really you are no such thing you will never be anything,but the misery you bring ,fallowed by suffering
So the story finds a beginning, of the rebel and the heartless king
The story of the world you rule, twice as bad as the real thing
But you shall soon see the rebellion always seems to claim victory, and overthrow the evil king, thus delivering  its people from suffering
So just you watch and see, who in the bitter end claims victory.
For it will be none other then me! Whom else can free my  life from your tyranny,and free the spirit with in me.


                        Back again

everything is the way i left it
only the faces have changed
same judgmental glances
same eternal pain
same sad mind frame
but i must not fall from what i have became
or i fear i might go insane 
     
                                What?

You want me to fall to conformity,and change whom i have worked so hard to be, another zombie, like they all seem to be?
To walk and talk like everybody?!
How could you ask such a thing of me?
To give up my individuality, my non conformity and once again loose me to a false identity?
Have you took the time to look at those whom you want me to be?
Can you see what i see, how all of them seem to be so cruel and worldly
How they all seem to have lost the morality of humanity?
           
                        Dreadful Fun

all is crazy, all is chaos, is there no escape? Have i no sanctuary? Is there no freedom?

Ware did all the peace go? Ware dose it flee?
It leave me here to slowly loose my sanity

Oh sleep, precious sleep, my only peace but sadly so brief but oh what a relief

the chaos is reaching its peak, i am ready to brake
the chaos is braking in like a crafty thief, attempting to steal my relief.

No were to hide. No were to run, oh what fun, what dreadful fun

                Freezing Sorrow 
               
there is a sorrow in my heart
so much so i must depart
i can feel is cold grasp  freezing my heart
why wont it depart?
My heart is growing cold as ice
drowning in it own freezing tears
oh what have i become?
Am i only a empty shell?
has my soul bid its final farewell?
Why is my body bound in this icy hell? 
       

                        Reflection

i miss you and all that you do
i miss your grate attitude
i miss you sweet smile
the future is unclear, but i know  love you dear but i fear i made the wrong decision, are paths may separate but are hearts never will
my love for you has grown strong. how can it be wrong... i miss the taste of your sweet lips. I wish i could get a grip but my mind continues to slip...my heart weeps with sorrow as i pray for tomorrow.
I sit hear in deep contemplation wishing i could see you again. Hoping i will be forgiven for revealing a dark sin   
 
                Birthday Wish

your birth day is creeping ever so near
but i fear i will not be there
although i wish to be by your side it is not for me to decide
i love you and always will
but we are trap ed on the opposite side's of some dark hill
but i promise you i will...find away to get to your side of this emotional hill if at all possible i will
                       
Letting go
                                           
  What can I do what can I say to show you the true me?
How could i have done this again falling for a girl I can not win.
Falling into a game that I don't belong in.
intruding in your life like the placing of a unwanted  knife.
How selfish.
I feel as thought you want me to go, but for some reason I cant let go.
I know I am to old but refuse to be told.
I should  fade away, back to the shadows from which I came.
Leaving your life...freeing you from mine.
You are happy with him and who am I to complicate your life.
You know me a bit, but that bit makes me not want to quit.
I fell for you like I knew I should not do.
I broke my own rules and decided to pursue.
I fell for your cute attitude.
What a old fool. I should have knew better.
I should have knew that I will never have you
and you don't want me to.
After all who could want to be with one such as me?
No one, nothing, that is all I see.
I fell for your style.
I fell for that beautiful hair that burns bright in the sunlight.
I fell for those chocolate eyes the way they lock with mine.
That transfixing face that seems to see me with distaste.
What am I doing this is a wast.
You don't what to hear my words.
This is not my place.
My thoughts go blurry as the time ticks by.
But then again who am I? To be telling you these things.
Your and your man. Why don't I understand.
Why do I still seek to hold you hand. To take his pedestal
and cast away his stand. Forever forsaken by times sand.
But then I must return to reality and relies you don't want me, you never did.
And even so are love most would forbid. Five years, a gape with no bridge.
I must find away to cast these feelings a stray for there is no way I will ever see that day.
There is no way, I cannot let these feelings stay. This deathly infatuation is killing me.
But letting go is slowly becoming easier for me, perhaps one of these day I will be free.
I guess we all shall one day see that you and me can never be. But till I see there will be no convincing me.
         

          The Night is not What it Seems

as I look in to the night I see your face in the pale moon light
then you light surrounds me so filling me with hope
perhaps there is still a light in the darkness of my life
a brief reprieve from worldly grief, a escape from the darkest days
you walked back in to my life unexpectedly and I let you in vigorously
you saved me from me
you set me free darling
from the shackles of my misery
you brought back a piece of me that I though was lost for eternity
I was drowning at sea,
icy cold waters surrounded me
but you saved me
how so I do not know
now in a time of darkness you are a light to me
you are the light house in the dark sea of reality       

    Dance of Dreams

a night of passion
a dance full of lust
a future full of possibility
three hours of building trust
the light flicker are body bumps
the music makes you move
hearts are pounding body sweating
blood is rushing faces touching lips are soon to meet
blood is burning body's yearning, just to touch
eyes are meeting fear is fleeing, are we dreaming?
Slow dance come and slow dance go
I hold you tight in the flashing strobe light
afraid of letting go for last time you vanished like a ghost.   


                          Realization 

my thought are racing
to prevent me from pacing
the clock is ticking
the time fly s bye
my heart wants to cry 
to my self I lie wanting to die.
But then something changes,
something rearranges
and I find that this is not the time to cry.
It is not my time to die

Call

so much to say in so little time
so happy that you are mine.
I sit watching the time
eagerly waiting to hear you voice
gingerly waiting to share my joy.
When the time came I could not find my voice
I had your ear but I fear
I could not bring my self to share what I feel
I had those few rushed moments
and my mind became clouded .
I should of could of but didn't revel
the love my heart held in it.
 

                        Fleeting Love

there is a person you all should know a person whom inspires me so.
A woman so wonders she renders me speechless.
So loving her warmth melts even the coldest heart.
She has came before me once long ago.
But disappeared before are love could grow.
She melted like snow. Leaving me to the unknown
to go on on my own
but then like winters first snow
she came back and are love began to grow
like a dormant seed in my heart
and for once I don't want the snow to go   

                    Miss Guided

my mind is hazy, my eyes lazy
my heart is dazed what can I say
my life is as confused as my mind
when I compare her age to mine
I feel like I have been here before
like I have reopened a locked door
I am no pimp no player for sure
I am something much more.

                                    My Gift

I am both blessed and cursed
with the power of words
the power to wright this mighty verse
to ability to cut through conformity
like a switch blade knife
to this art I have dedicated
a  small portion of my life
but as with every blessing there is a curse
depression at its vary worst

                  Poetic Paladin

If I be paladin this pen be my sword
the ink spills on the page
worlds are mine to change
have I been choose by a higher power
to lead my people in there final hour
the crusades might be over  but things have not changed
religion still fight with blood thirsty rage
as our world spins in to its final days
the angles are singing as the trumpets are ringing
desperately to those whom must be saved

                        Shell

my mind is becoming complex again
as I attempt to let another in
and let another story begin
once again I mist fight to open my heart
which is encased in stone again
half a year it has been
far to long for me or any other men
another adventure is about to begin

                            Weeds
negativity is like a seed
once it is planted in the soil of the heart
it becomes like a weed
stealing life from all other things
like a parasite killing you joy and feeding off you pain
driving one insane
slowly it grows choking out all things as it sows taking apart ones soul as it grows
slowly destroying hope
with each root it drains ones life
slowly transforming one in to a empty shell
it turns its host in to a puppet
and it become the puppeteer
the hidden master
all whom come in contact with it become
its subjects
and fall victim to this painful tyrant
this dastardly deceiver




        Brother Of Mine

what can I say what can I do to make this up to you
I remember back when we use to be the best of friends
when you use to look up to me
when I was your hero, not this zero
but now what have I left you to look up to?
But what did I do, go and abandon you
the brother who use to wait for each weekend to go through
the one who got hurt when I did not go over to see you          
what kind of heartless person would do this to you?
Who could be so cruel?
Little brother of mine I miss you.
I wish I would not hurt you but that is all I seem to do
slowly killing that person you once knew
that fallen hero you once knew

           



                            Alone Again

my heart is aching my soul burns
the though of loosing you has sat in,
the fear of being alone again.
It is setting in the; emptiness is haunting me yet again.
Is there no way I will ever win.
Why is it when I find someone they always fade away.
Leaving my life empty and gray.
I know that tomorrow will bring more pain and suffering.
For to marrow the words will be spoken. And I will be truly with out hope.
I can feel it eroding grip,
I can feel it as is slips to my heart
as the erosion sets in it starts to freeze again.   


                          Some Girl

I have a story I wish to tell about this girl I once knew well.
In her eyes there was peace, they gave me a moments release from this earthly hell.
Her hands were tender as that of angels above.
Her face glowed with enchanting delight that seemed to chase away all of my fright.
Her hair glowed like mornings light.
She was my princess and I her knight for her to this day I would fight. 
Her heart was kind as was her mind.
She brought the promises of alluring love.
She was like a gift from god above.
She descended in the form of a dove.
But alas she was not meant for me.
She was my captive but  i could see she wanted to be free  and eventuality she did brake free.
For the rest of the world she wanted to see.
As of now her and I are not meant to be.
But if god once again dose smile at me.
Perhaps he shall send a dove for me.

                                  Plague

sadness is setting in trickling thought my heart again liquid depression flowing through out my body
invading my veins threatening to drive me insane
corrupting my body and brain
crippling everything
started in my heart were it invades and spreads with the aid of my blood
the Trojan horse has been replaced as this sickly emotion  invades
I can feel it as it travels numbing my nerves
slowing my mind draining my hope killing everything
leaving me empty again
starving my soul killing me from with in



                                 
Blood Stained Blade

the blade bites my flesh
leaving liquid relief so brief
the blood stains the blade
and I began to feel the burden
of shame
What have I become
never again I says as I
put the knife away
it is a weakness to face my
troubled mind like this
tears of shame seem to soak my face
as I toss the knife away
haunted by a blood stained blade   

Heavenly Father
as I walk in this lions den
I am not afraid of whats with in
my father walks by my side
he is my guide
he protects me as I praise him
calling me to the cross again
reminding me why I must fight sin
yearning for me to bring others to him
telling me what is to come
helping me overcome the worldly ones
I shall praise him day and night
to see his face I must fight
to see his glory like morning light
so bright
he will help me over come the night
the darkness in my own mind

Puzzle
these thoughts are difficult and hard to arrange
falling in and out of place
bringing me to conclusions I cannot erase
pieces falling in to forbidden places were I fear to chase
hidden In tantalizing terror
letting another in to the puzzle of life
Sacrificing my foolish pride
giving in to my worldly side


Outside Paradise

      There is a sound I long to hear
the sweet voice of of the wind whispering in my ear
  The loving warmth of the suns stare
the mysterious  songs of the birds in the air
but do I dare cross this gaping hole of fear
that clutches me even hear
taped in this place I once held dear
banished by miss placed fear
how did I get here
what happened to those I once held dear


The Secrets The Smoke Held

in the light of a dancing fire
the goddess sings with angelic smoky wings
as  her fingers strum the strings
and as her voice rings
nothing seems to worry me
from all concern and fear I am free
at least for the time to be
the eyes of night make them self known
as the other listeners rock to and fro
as we all are surrounded by the smoke
a transparent cloak
I then began to feel like a fool
why am I hear what to do
then I hear “Because  she summoned you”
then I ask “what am I to do”
then the voice says “that's up to you”
and then my thought return to you
and the halo of smoke I placed around you 


What to do

here I am again were I always am
standing on the sidelines looking in
knowing what I want to do
but afraid to pursue
watching, waiting, never doing
knowing I have my hands full
slowly loosing my control
felling like a looser
like I always do.
as I feel
I am loosening you.
What can I do
siting here thinking of you
what can I do
taped in this small room
with out a view
banished in this purgatory 
of my own design
in the depths of my own  mind
to hurt to smile but to fine to cry
completely entranced by you
there is nothing I can do.



Strings

why is this burden mine to bare
to confused to care
blindly flowing my heart pull
what pulls these string I don't know
what causes my mind to flow to and fro
driving me crazy  as it goes
you know like you
but also I know I cannot have you
until you want me to
and i will not chase after
with out your permission to
this dilemma has me
completely consumed

Struggle

my heart is full of a unknown sorrow
haunting me with broken dreams of tomorrow
trying to control a feeling. That wants to be free
praying for her happiness yet keeping none for me
is this part of some thing more divine
some test of patients that stalks my mind
trying to find a place to confide
dragging its claws across my mind
tarring through the thoughts of my brain
ripping as it drains leaving only pain
then this tormentor moves to my heart
were it begins to tare me apart
riping and taring bleeding and busing
I am fighting but loosing
I loose a battle every time I think of you


Grave Of Depression

my mind is clearing as I come back from what I was fearing
falling in to infatuation what a perplexing situation
when every thing you do has to be for someone new
when your heart seems to betray you.
Making you fall for a love thats not there
but being unable to stop yourself from caring
trapped in the web of obsession
        I've been trapped here before but haven't learned my lesson
all it has  done is formed a grave of depression
and thankfully I survived to the resurrection
    I climbed from my own destruction
through the dark pit of my own reflection
to the light of life the only true direction

Storm

the rain is dripping
my mind is slipping
loosing its grip
with every drip
the lightning flashes
the thunder crashes
creating a headache with every blast
I hope this storm dose not last
oh how long can I last
blast by blast
what am I doing
nothing am I proving
to this image less lass
this story is mine to tell
about the storms farewell
the winds did blow and
the rains did swell
but  now
all is well
no tree or house fell

Fortress of the heart

in the past I have always thought
love would not tare me apart
ripping out little pieces of my heart
the more I pretend to defend
this battle I loose again
the more I try to fortify my heart
the easier it seems to fall apart
the more I learn the less I know
what is it that makes these feelings flow
why cant I just let them go
all they do is kill hope
the fortress is falling yet again
threatening to let another in 


Alphas Pride

In the light of the pail moon light
two wolves run through the night
one the color of the night
and the other like moon light
through brush through brier
through stream and wirer
black and sliver side by side
yin and yang on natures hide
brought together by natures call
unified through pack law
the colors of night in swift
flight
carried by wolves paw
love and care,fang and claw
pain to share, burdens to bare
family forever. Bound by blood
Luna's gift from above   
one grows up as the other becomes a pup
one has chosen to lead
while the other wants to stay with me
this old wolf is filled with pride
seeing what his pups have become
hoping his legacy will not be erased
knowing someday they will all be one
knowing both there story's have just begun
praying that  her faith is not misplaced
hoping that the first will not be a disgrace


Loveless End

no good bye is forever
but this one is hard
i am afraid of the future
letting them fade in to the unknown
so many things could happen.
life as we know it to cease to exist
leaving your heart in a faded mist
to cold and afraid to feel bliss
the one you love could fade in to the mist
Life is not the same when your alone and the one you care about is the one to blame.
Due to she did what you could not
but what if the one you care about dose not feel the same
what a insane  game
full of chaos and bliss
as I sit here writing this
my heart is lost in a foreboding mist


My Curse

why dose this situation seem to fallow me.
invading someones life and filling mine with difficulty .
this is why I choose to leave I tried to run but this curse still won.
its like it uses me for fun.
as if the fates them selves hate me but cant bring them selves to cut my string.
like they enjoy toying with me and don't want to set me free. 
that is the way my life must be.
Or at least thats what they keep telling me.
what is this force that keeps haunting me.
Using woman to cripple my emotions
I give in to easily, even thought I try to fight it still dominates me.
From different angels it hampers me  threatening to drive me crazy.
My life is destined to be a continuous fuck up full of my own misery   


Dark side

there is a demon taped in side
a demon who changes with the tide
full of furry and hate,
wait' n for its cage to brake
it is the eternal struggle I am in
how can I ascend with this demon within
this monster was born within my soul
to fulfill its dark role
full of furry it hungers for blood

to have its vengeance fulfilled
even if it has to kill
wanting to slip from it's world to the real
to fill it hunger to murder at will
can you see it furry burning in my eyes
a fury that the night cant even hid
can you see it burning ever so bright
glowing in the full moons pail light
see my green spheres burning bright
it wont brake free
no not to night 


                        FEAR
in this world i don't belong
chasing a girl far to young
how do you remedy a vary real fear
for the fear is holding back a heart so dear

fear of falling, fear of loosen someone dear
tell me my dear what would help you fight away this thing you fear

for it is a reality you must except
a future so chaotically endept
a past of missary
a future of glory
a present unknown

we all have your vary same fear
the thought of loosing someone dear

am i a loved one to you hold dear?
am i the remedy
or the cause of this fear

please don't let it consume you my dear
for i could not stand to see your
heart fall to the beast of fear
a predator vary near

if not stopped it will consume all you hold dear
and you will find your self caged by its rage

the best remedy it seems to me, it to live for the moment and be free
to let fate work and wait and see
weather what you seek is meant to be for eternity
or just another meaningful fling
wether a thing to learn from being
or another chapter in the story of life
another war to fight

Busted

Sirens go off they slap on the cuffs
after all anophe is anophe
in the back of a car you go
as your blood runs cold as snow
furry is replaced with fear
as you watch the car you hold dear
be driven away in to the day and disappear
they ask your info and take you away
to a place you don't even want to spend a day
walking around the holding cell
you find your self in a new definition of hell
as you pace in a freezing cell
then you here there might be hope
for you to get out of here
you singe you signature bold and clear
as you suffer a fear you've never known
you are placed back, all alone
hoping on a phone
after a hour that last forever
the phone let you know you ain't go'en home
they place a prise of your freedom
no matter what you say you aint leaving today
there is no passable way
then they strip you of who you are
given rags to ware
lock away from the light of day
all you can do is hope and pray
that god grants you another way
you spend a sleepless night with crooks
hiding in you own little nook

                            Thought
i stand here yet again looking at a wonders person whos life i don't belong in.
yet i am longing to be placed in. is that such a sin wanting to be loved again.
after all i gave up my freedom to defend
and even after such a noble act i cant win the one Ive always loved back.
but no matter what i attempt she dosent understand.
so what can i, a lowly man do to recalme what varry few knew
the sweet tast of love true
what in godsname can i do to prove my love to you
so we canclaim are famed happley after ever?
insted of a heart braking disator.
if onley you kenw howmuch you mean to me.
but sadley it seems you will never know becuse
you refuze to see. you refuse to let your self love me.
then are story starts again
as the moon chases the sun
we are the eclips, or so we were when this all begun
dose either of us have the strenth to go on
to keep watching for the other to cycal on
the sun heart braking as the moon cycals on
dose the moon relize that with out the suns light
she will no longer light up the night


Angel Reborn
I am filled with lite again
a special lite that glows from with in
it flow's from with in
bringing me back life again
setting my halo aglow
with energy from with in
I dint know I could be
happy again
my spirit is ablaze
I am finely seeing threw the haze 
that has clouded so may days
I have finely found my way
I have been threw hell and back again
now I may claim my wings and fly again
I was blinded with in
but now I can see again
my wings had been clipped
but I finely got a grip
have I been forgiven
finely  redeemed 

Key

so many words spill on this page
          so many thoughts needing to escape
my mind is such a fun place
depending on your taste
it is its own world encased
taped in my mind to
keep the real world  safe
from this enchanting place
a world free from the laws of reality
complete with a palace by the sea
a world in which my inner wolf runs free
along with his pack.
All of us you see possess the key
a key to imagine a world unseen   

A TWIST ON LIFE

By: Matt Chaplin

About the Author:
I was reeled into this wonderful madness by my friend Gary Snearley. It all started when I ran off from my home and took cover at his house from the problems of a crazed seventeen-year-old's life. We bonded instantly, Gary being the older brother I had always wanted and needed. About two months later he told me about his dream of publishing a book full of unique poems by different authors, so I began typing right away.
My poems have a tendency to center around the blurred concepts of everyday life and the paranormal. They are all free-versed, and the only thing they all share (besides the author) is that they all express my various views on this thing we call life.
Enjoy my madness.



Happiness

Flying high on wingless birds
Spiraling above the winds
Nothing now can hold me down
Heaven draws near

But down below I see a beggar
Covering himself in ragged paper
On and on an endless caper
Nothing in his future

Sadness fills my stitched heart
Gravity starts to weigh me down
And now I'm hurtling
Toward the ground

Tears are streaming down my face
I see no hope for our pitiful race
The beggar shows how hard we work
To ignore the toil of another's life

Death is coming, painful and fast
I really hope this doesn't last
Too much longer, or I might die
And never reach the waiting sky.

Sorin

A tiny dog
Upon my lap
Singing, howling
A happy dog.

He greets me at the open door
Hopping around upon the floor
Bouncing, jumping
He greets me as I close the door.

I rub his ears
He thumps his leg
Squirming, growling
I scratch his ears.

He runs about
A happy puppy
Yapping, scratching
He flits about.

His eyelids slowly fall
He fights the sleep
Twitching, rolling.
His eyes slowly close.

Pop Tab Bracelet

I look upon the bracelet new
Crafted from pop tabs askew
Wrapped around my wrist so white
Kept by cord so it stays tight.

It helped me survive through the night.
I slept and yet could not take flight.
Falling, screaming, kicking, squealing
I heard SHRIEK laughing in delight.

Yet now I look at its recycled sheen
Knowing I helped the earth stay green.
A small grin comes to my face,
And I thank the Lord for his saving Grace.


Impatience

I hate to wait
Before the gate
Of joy or sadness
It makes me angry

The anger blossoms
Into rage
Which bellows deep
Inside my cage

The rage intensifies
It makes her scared
She runs away
Now I'm impaired

She left with the key
To mine prison
And now the hot blood
To my face has risen

The tears and blood
Flow down my face
I give into despair
And fall into disgrace


Strangle

You turn away
And up I jump
Cutting off your air
You're sickening
You worthless lump

I choke you tight
Squeezing hard
Draining your life
You're disgusting
You deserve to wear a knife

You twist and jerk
I grin and smirk
Ending your Before
You're horrifying
You stupid whore

Your twitches lessen
I let you rest
You're finally dead
You're even now grotesque
Eyes rolled back in your head

I smile.

Lighter

This lighter brings me little joy
Til I touch the flame to skin
It burns a little
I smile within

My fingers jerk
I drop the flame
Leaves on the ground
Explode into color

Green and Blue
And Red and Orange
Trees light up
A happy dance

I twirl a gig
A smile upon my face
As the forest comes to life
Its last romance

The ashes float around my hair
A dark halo to match mine eyes
The trees smile as they bow
I bow in return as the light fades away.

Dark Hearts

Once upon a time
I knew a fateful lie
One that shaped my universe
And drank my darkness dry

It told two stories
Of a girl
One whose fingers
Around my heart did curl

In the first lie
We were happy together
Drawing from a well
Of the sky's bright aether

Nothing on earth could hold us down
Among our happiness we did drown.
Nothing from the world were we barred.
She wore a wreath, and I a crown.

In the second lie
It was her fate
To die a death
A dark thirst did she sate




Nothing on earth could comfort me
Among my agony did I drown
Nothing to me could this world give.
My misery became my crown.

But the only truth
Was by far the worst.
She hated me
And my endless thirst

So from me
She took herself
And left me alone
With my shallow wealth.

Tears

I love the way I cry at night
Sobbing out my tears of fright
A helpless child full of remorse
Hidden away out of sight.

The parents lock the door
Keeping it shut forever more
Hoping, praying, worrying
That no one sees their rotten core.

The police come to search the house
The place reeks of rat and mouse
They come upon the locked up door
The mother distracts them with her blouse.

The little child left all alone
To rot away in dust and stone
No one will ever hear my screams
But they will reap what they have sown.

Faces

Angry faces
Screaming faces
Tortured faces
Smiling faces

Everyone has something to hide
Something buried deep inside
Blessings, Curses, and Remorse
Shouting til our voice grows hoarse

Evil crawling up the stairs
Angels catch us unawares
Drinking deep the saddened blood
Nothing saves us from this flood

Crawling on the walls so quiet
We deserve this don't deny it
The happiness was never ours
On our graves will be no flowers

Pale faces
Choking faces
Fading faces
Dying faces

Judgement

Running, jumping, fighting!
Kicking, screaming, yelling!
Taking the lead!
Crowing, seeing the end appear!

Jumping from block to block,
Taking my enemies down one by one,
Feeling the freedom of flight,
Soaring toward the end!

Kicking down the last opponent,
Screaming a battle cry!
Leaping on, approaching the end...
When I fall.

My head hits the edge of the final block.
I flip and land on my back,
Hearing my bones crack,
Blood is everywhere.

I come around,
My vision swims.
I wipe the blood from my eyes,
Only to see the Three Judges.
They stand before me, Ancient and gargantuan,
Wearing armor of Stone, of Iron, of Ruby
Hands upon their swords,
Ready to decide my fate.

"Haveth thou aught to say for thyself?"
"Speak, Warrior fallen from Grace!"
"Haveth thou naught to say, Worthless Nothing?!"
I stand but keep my eyes lowered.

Looking at my feet, in the sand I see
A shining dagger, made of their metals.
My battle robe is blowing in the wind,
I wipe the blood from mine eyes.

"Fallen Warrior, raise thine eyes!"
"Prepare for thine Judgement!"
"Accept thine fate!"
The dagger glints.

Swift as a hawk,
I sweep up the deadly blade!
Standing tall and meeting their eyes,
I slash the hot metal across my throat!

I can feel their rage,
Hear their Ancient roars,
As they draw their swords skywards,
But they're too late!


For the warm blood is flowing,
I have defied their Judgement,
I feel their giant blades pierce my chest!
But they're too late!

They remove their swords,
I fall forward,
Breathing sand, blood, and fire,
They've set me alight...

They turn, sheathing their swords.
Stepping away, cloaks blowing in the wind.
Their Wrath expended, I hear a defiant giggle.
Mine own.

It's My Fault

It's my fault
And you know it too.
But you don't know how to say it
So you lie to me again.

I cut and the blood flows
But I smile
As it trickles down my arm
And pools on the floor.

I giggle
I stumble
I land in my own blood
And it's my fault.



Tainted Soul
Turned Rose

By: Melissa Snearley
About the Author
I am like no other person you would ever meet, but i can thank my past for that. My life has been a nightmare after nightmare and for once it has changed. Gary Snearley and so many more have changed my life and i thank and love them greatly. As you read my poems you will see and maby even feel the great pain and loss and sudden love that has happened over my life. Welcome to the Tainted soul that Turned into a beautiful rose.



Rage


You feel the pain inside
They laughed at you again
Rage has you blind

You're alone, cold and insecure
You're hated
But the rage makes you insane

Silence makes you hate life
Knowing your mother's gone
Father's a mistake

You finally listen to the Rage
Find the sweet kiss of silver as your new friend

Rage is filled with something new
you stop feeling blue
as a new feeling emerged

An addicting crimson drug
And for once the rage is numb


Animal

I see a steel cage
Within a beastly animal
Sleeping softly among the screams and laughter

Its soul had been broken
though unafraid to fight on
truly a remarkable beast

I watch as it gets poked and prodded
teased and taunted

A smile comes to my face as the wolf rises
they back away, afraid of what's to come

I find the key in my hand and thy knowledge
unlocking the cage to find

Its amazing power


Light

I cannot hide what is painful inside
I cut it out but yet it always returns to me.
Haunting every corner
Jester of my mind
causing more pain
As i scream out for someone to find me
Voice gone hoarse and mind hazed
desperatly wishing to die

But a dark prince came one day
nightmares almost same
he wished them all away

He takes me to a place unseen
a place of comfort for him and me
For what could be true love be shown

As our chapters be written
dark days turned light
This journey be ours
Together the light shines bright


Misrable Father

Another beer down as the night rolls on
You stumble to my room when you hear me cry
Screams to tell me to shut up
You were wrong

To rip out a childs heart i shall never understand
Never there for me then and your not here now
Head full of unruley thoughts

Your words still haunt me
The nights ill never forget

Afraid to leave my room
Afraid to speak

But I have left your hell
You misrable father

Best Friend

If I ever need to cry
Her shoulder is open

Unafraid to speak her mind
In her is the strength i find
To deal with the shit in this world.


Taken Away

The thought of it pains me
can not bare
something so dear
a chose taken away

A poisen inside
tainted my blood but not thy soul
but mind left with to many scares
A fear I have
this something I may not be able to give
For i fear of nothing left
Just resentment


Me

I do not understand me
nor do i want to try

my hair is long and dark
and i always seem to cry

yes im sensiteve
no, i dont know why

but i have this thing about me
ill try to help you out

even though im oblivius at times
but you'll never get it now

at times im dark and moody
i have that vengful side

then im bubbly and goofy
im completly out of my mind

you'll never understand me
so dont even try

for the ones who truly know and love me
see me for me and all my sides