Still There

 

  "Your claim has to be rejected"

  I told the young girl, handing her the documents back, she didn`t seem to understand, or may be she didn`t want to..

  "What?!" she wondered, shocked.. I replied:

  -Sorry, you have to refill again. You didn`t use the right form..

  -Then you haven`t finished my papers?!

  -No, I haven`t.

  She was actually shaking! I noticed the shivering of her hands when she was taking her papers off the desk, and I don`t know why she seemed so concerned about it, nor the importance of such a document to such a young lady..

  -Can`t you do anything about that?

  -Without the right form, I can`t.

  I wonder why she was that desperate.. She said after a moment of thinking..

  -So, do you have the right form?

  -We are out of it, may be you should try the postal office.

  She didn`t speak, looked kind of lost.. She didn`t ask me about the name of the right form or the location of the nearest office.. She only seemed concerned about finishing her papers, right here, right now..

  "Listen, you don`t understand, I must get this document today!"

  She said, nervously, opening her purse looking for something.. A bribe! That`s exactly what I need!

  "Ma`am, I`ll pretend that I haven`t noticed what you were trying to do. Now, if you will, I have lots of work to finish" I said, sharply, then I picked up my pen, going back to my work..

  She didn`t leave directly, and that usually happens when I tell someone that his papers are not ready yet, he keeps around like I`m going to finish his papers at the moment. I say I`m used to this and I learned not to care, but I don`t know why I got touched this time...

  She took her papers, purse, and moved back to the corner of the office, then moved to the other side. I couldn`t focus on my work, knowing she is coming and going in the office nervously which made me nervous myself..

  After a minute or two she moved her patrols out to the main lobby, I couldn`t see her but I still hear her heels knocking on the floor as she walked there. I took a deep breath, intending to get back to my routine.

  I had a look to the chair she was standing by, and, for my surprise, I found a paper on it when I checked it turned out to be the right form she needed!

  I stood up unbelieving.. She had the right form all the time but she just didn`t know.. She simply didn`t ask! May be it slept out of her purse but it still makes no difference!

  Deep feeling of guilt, or may be pity, made me snatch the form and run towards the door, I looked but she wasn`t there, and the sound of her heels just stopped as she never existed..

  I spent lunch hour looking around the building, maybe she is still here, maybe I can finish her document today, but no such luck. I went back depressed, I went home depressed and stayed so all the day long.

  Since then, and after twenty three years, I still remember it as it was just yesterday, still can`t wipe it off of my mind, and don`t know why such a memory wasn`t buried under those tons of forgetable  events of every day in life. I`ve kept the form also into my pocket for these whole years like a mad man, still hoping one day I may find her, hand her the form, and maybe go together to the office and finish it. Although I no longer work there, but I`ll be more than happy to do this, but the sad part is that I lost the form few days ago, I don`t know how. I`ve kept it for years but I finally lost it.Maybe I didn`t take out of the pocket before the pants went to laundry, maybe it just slept out, but I said before, it still makes no difference..