Metal Crue

                                                                Metal Crue



  Hello curious reader, thank you for picking up this story out of curiosity, especially when there is better shit to be doing than reading a boring story, like playing football, hanging with your buddies, or banging chicks. Oh wait, I forgot, you're reading a book, which means you are either really old, or a teenage nerd, still a virgin, has no friends, too weak to play sports and cant get laid, meaning you have nothing to do but read some gay book. Just kidding, hopefully you are not the sensitive type and your triple chinned face is not turning red from a sentence of a book containing no knowledge of who you are.



  Now let me tell you who I am: My name is Crispin; Crispin Callahan. This is a rather strange story of what really happened all those years ago over here in Cali. The story is, in fact, so insane that I can not shorten it. I am telling you this so that, in the case that you actually do have a social life, you balance reading this book with that social life, along with your job, any seminars you need to go to to deal with office anxiety (you corporate drone), and, on top of that, doing something that is more fun than reading some boring old book. See, this story shall take you through many pages in order to explain it, as the story can not be shortened.



  This story will basically cover everything from my first day in Cali, until the night I was given "The Task" by King Zulu. First, however, I should prepare you for what is ahead.



  Imagine, that somewhere in a city, any city,on a peaceful afternoon, when a couple grab coffee, when a few guys throw a football, when a fat balding middle aged man watches porn in his run down apartment, a shiny, giant metal object breaks in through the clouds. At first, people are too caught up in whatever douchebag novel they are writing on their laptops to notice, but eventually a spoiled, fat little brat points up and shouts "Look!". And everyone looked up in awe.



  The object is round in a saucer shape, as well as shiny, and descending onto the Earth quick, but people are still too amazed to care.



  Then, suddenly, the bottom of the ship seems to open up, and suddenly, it happens. A beam strikes down onto the arena dome where football games are watch, and the beam pulls everything towards it. It is actually a tornado of sorts, but stays still as everything rips off from wherever it clings too and smashes into everything else. And in the end, there is only rubble...



  Dont worry, I was fucking around and this story will be nothing like that. Okay, that is a lie, but there will be no destructive laser beams firing on cities. I am sure you are interested, and if you are not at this point, you are not the sci-fi type, but I assured you that there will be something for everyone here, some action, some horror, some romance, and a lot of comedy. Prepare yourself for the story of me...

And my Metal Crue.