Chapter Four: Uplifting

I received a phone call around seven o’clock this morning from Ashley. Of course I was running on five hours of sleep, so everything she said had to be repeated. It was my own fault for not getting enough sleep, even after thirty minutes of counting sheep I was still restless.

“What do you want for Christmas?” .

“Nothing,” I mumbled tiredly. “Christmas isn’t until next month, Ash.”

“I know, Miss Obvious!” She laughed. “I’m doing a little early shopping. You have to want something.”

“Seriously, I don’t need anything.” I yawned while I sat up in my bed, there was no use in trying to go back to sleep.

“Oh tough,” Ashley continued. “I am going to Times Square with my mother to do some shopping. I already knew you’d say no but I am getting you something anyway.”

I sighed, “A souvenir? I’ll accept that.” I hated receiving presents; however, I became terrified thinking about opening a present with lacy underwear.

“I knew you’d see it my way,” she chuckled. “I have to go; we are leaving in just a few minutes. I’ll call you later!”

Before I could say goodbye, the phone started beeping. I looked at my clock. “Ugh it’s only eight, damn it.”

Flopping back down, I pulled the pillow over my head groaning. The sirens were loud, too loud. I got up slowly, grinding my teeth together in pain as I looked out the window. There was a police car sitting in my driveway and another in front of the yard. I could hear voices shouting at Thomas’ who seemed to be cussing at them.

“Sir, if you would corporate,” one officer started to explain calmly, “We will have you out of here before Emma wakes up.” I ran downstairs. I didn’t notice my father sitting on the steps.

“Go back to bed,” Thomas hissed.

I ignored him and looked at the officers. “What’s going on?” “Your father has a few warrants out for his arrest.” The tall, dark haired officer stated. “He was reportedly seen stealing at a mini-mart in another town, failure to appear in court, and never paid a traffic fine.” I wasn’t surprised; eventually something would have caught up with him. He deserved it! “So, does that mean you’ll take him to jail, for how long?” Curiously asking as I stepped pass Thomas. “He will probably be in for a month, but it isn’t up to us. He has to face the judge after a few weeks.” “Well---,” Before I could ask anymore, the bald, slightly older officer cut me off and started examining me. “What happened to you?” He eyes stared down at me as I choked on my words not knowing what to say. It was the perfect chance but I knew Thomas would come back and terrorize me. “Tell the truth, Emma. Did he do this to you?” He asked with his thumb pointing to Thomas. After a long silence, I nodded. “Alright, he is in for a rude awaking.” The officer was pissed off; he grabbed my father and pulled his arms tightly behind his back. “You don’t hit a woman, especially your daughter!” The dark haired officer spoke. “You have the right to remain silent, anything you say or do will be held against you in the court of law.”

I looked down at the floor with a sigh. “It really isn’t a big deal. I’m used to it.” My voice started cracking, “He would hit my mom a lot, too. I never told anyone because my mother told me not to.”

“I understand you don’t want to see him go but it’s a big offense,” the office put a hand on my shoulder. Ha! I marveled at the idea. “He will be put away for a long time. I don’t think the judge will let him off the hook.” I nodded, afraid to see the expression on Thomas’ face. Hatred, “I will be looking for you” moved from his lips slowly. My heart dropped into the pits of my body. For the first time in my life, I was scared of my father. Walking behind the dark haired officer, I watched as Thomas was put into the car with the older guy. I leaned against the porch post; arms crossed shivering from the cold. Now I suppose the neighbors have something to whisper about. I felt a lump starting to rise in my throat, my heart beating through my shirt. There was temptation to call Ashley bawling my eyes out and tell her the good news. She had such resent toward my father, always encouraging me to tell the police about him. I didn’t know what to do with myself at this point. The house was empty and quiet without the static of the television. My heart had a different feel, calm and beating normally. The anxious, horrified feeling was gone. It was still early in the morning as I sprawled across the couch and closed my eyes. The hours went by and my mind raced through the events of these pass couple nights. My father’s rage one night, now this morning the police and his arrest. And Travis—the images of his vanilla skin, gray eyes, and the way his clothes fit perfectly against his slender body floated through my mind. His voice as he spoke relaxing me and taking me in. But the crease in his brow, it was as though something caused him pain. I shifted from one memory to another, tossing and turning. I could hear the springs in the couch squeak but never opened my eyes. I fought to drift off into an endless sleep.



Travis was staring out to the lake with his arms crossed across his chest. He had a black wife beater showing his lean but thin body, blue washed up jeans torn at the knees.

“You shouldn’t have come.” He spoke hoarsely. “I—I wanted to see you.” I stammered across my words. He strides toward me, with a serious look on his face. “Why? You don’t know who I am.” I shook my head. “I don’t care.” His body temperature seemed to be rising; I could feel it against mine. My heart was racing in my chest; I couldn’t find the words to say. “I never thanked you for the one night.” “Don’t.” He demanded. Suddenly, I started to move my arms around his waist, bringing myself closer. The space between us disappeared as I stood on my toes to touch his lips with mine. I sat up quickly, grabbing the side of the couch as my head spun. Why did it feel so real? The dream kept me questioning the possibilities if I appeared on his steps. I wanted to see him and yes, I did want to thank him. I felt embarrassed as my cheeks burned with red. I gasped, “I’m such an idiot. He probably thinks I’m an ungrateful person.” It was five o’clock in the evening. It felt like I slept for a century. I haven’t been able to sleep after the accident three years ago. There was a loud knock on the door, like someone was about to bang it down. I felt reluctant to answer it. “Emma!” Someone shouted on the other side of the door. It was Alex Morse, a boy I grew up with and saw only as a friend. I rushed to find a pair of sunglasses to cover the bruise on my nose. On gloomy days, this would look funny but thank god it was sunny out. I unlocked the door, letting him in. He rammed into me with a tight hug. “Hey, how are you?” Alex asked. “I am fine.” I smiled groggily, “Besides being scared half to death by your loud knocking, I am great. How are you?” “Just great, I wanted to see you.” His lip ring shifted as he grinned showing his big white teeth. “It’s like you are a ghost, nobody ever sees you.” He always made me shiver because his canine teeth were pointier than other people I saw. He wore his favorite black Metallica sweatshirt and a pair of dark blue jeans with a chain dangling on the side from his wallet. He was nothing but a friend to me, an amazing friend. We’ve lived across the street from each other since we were in diapers. It wasn’t until I almost knocked him out with my skateboard that we hung out. He wasn’t close to me like Ashley but he always knew when something was wrong and comforted me. I didn’t like letting him in or when he got close to me. I admit that his emerald green eyes made my heart race and his muscular body was hard not to stare at. It was the day he came to my house for my eighteenth birthday and kissed me on my porch. He thought it was the right time; it was my fault for being so nice. I had told him I didn’t feel that way about him. “Oh, right. I’ve been keeping myself occupied—,” I lied partially pausing. “Actually… been reading at the library.” I laughed, kicking at the pine needles under my feet. He smiled as we sat on the steps outside. He always smelled like laundry detergent and Old Spice. I laid my head on his shoulders relaxing into his presence. I hadn’t taken a shower and I was wearing the clothes I had on yesterday. I was sure I looked like someone dumped me on the side of the road. “How come you didn’t go with Ashley?” Alex spoke softly. I couldn’t help but laugh, “I didn’t want to be up against her two brothers.” And he laughed as well. Her brothers were big guys and both freshmen in college. They always enjoyed picking on Ashley’s friends and driving her crazy. “Why are you still in town? I figured everyone was out of here except me.” “Nah, I didn’t feel like going to see grandparents. My parents let me stay home.” “Odd, I always went by your house on my way to the library and nobody would be home.” I said. “Well, I do have a life, Em.” He joked, nudging me. “Sorry.” I blushed immensely. We sat in silence for twenty minutes, watching cars pass by. He lit another cigarette while I gagged a little under my breath. I jumped in my spot when Alex put his arm around my shoulder slowly. I looked at him bewildered. He noted my expression and sudden move when he quickly withdrew his arm. “Sorry.” He whispered. “It’s okay.” I shook my head lightly. “You just got me off guard.” Our conversations were random. We talked about how the town never witnesses crime, the annoying tourists that come to stay at the state parks during the holidays, and how I wish he would quit smoking. It was a funny topic when I mentioned him smoking. He always told me it would never happen unless he was dead. “I’m joining the army… actually, I joined last year.” His voice saddened. “Oh…” I let my head turn back to the road; I didn’t want to look at him. “When are you leaving?” “The week before graduation I get shipped off.” “What about your diploma and walking with the class? All that mushy stuff your family does when their child makes it through school.” He was leaving too soon. Everyone in my life was abandoning me. I shouldn’t think like that but everyone has died or forgotten about me at some point. “The school will mail it to my parents.” He said. I could feel him looking at me waiting for a reaction. “Wow, well I guess good luck. I’m sure I’ll see you before then.” With grievance in my voice, I looked at him. I felt my body go numb, afraid I’d start tearing up. “I know. You are taking it better than my mom.” He chuckled.

“Alex?”

“Yeah?” He answered. “I have to be honest.” I started. “My dad isn’t home because he is in jail.” His eyes seemed like they were about to pop out. “What happened?” “He had various warrants out after him but now he is going to be in for a while.” I stuttered. “H—he is being charged with abuse on top of the warrants.” “Abuse?” I stood up and showed him the bruises on my side and the gashes on my arms. “Emma, how come you didn’t say anything?” He sounded angry. “I haven’t told anyone for years.” I didn’t dare tell him Ashley knew. “He beat my mother and me for so many years. She made me promise I wouldn’t say anything.” “I can’t believe I missed this.” He said burying his face in his palms. “I should have paid more attention.” “There wasn’t anything left that you could do. He is a drunken asshole.” I stared at his face. It was angry and ill looking. He grabbed me in his arms and held me. I almost felt suffocated but I wanted this. I wanted to be comforted by his warmth and steady heart beat. I buried my face into his sweatshirt, inhaling his scent. “I will make sure I stop by everyday to make sure you are okay.” “You don’t—,” he put his hand over my mouth before I could finish. “I will come over everyday.” He said pressing his forehead to mine and I smiled returning the embrace. He stood up and stepped down off the steps. I got up shoving my hands in my back pockets. “Thank you for coming over.” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I needed someone to chill with and talk to. I swear I was becoming schizophrenic.” “No problem. I’ll stop by tomorrow after work.” He flashed me a grin and my heart stopped for a second. He was only a friend, I repeated in my head. “Sure, I’ll be here tomorrow obviously.” I laughed because I knew I didn’t have a life. I watched him walk down the street until he was invisible. I let out a huge sigh sitting back down on the steps. I wrapped my arms around myself and pulled my sweatshirt over my knees. Despite the freezing wind, it was beautiful outside. The leaves fluttered around and stuck to the damp ground. It was too quiet outside, no cars drove by for the pass thirty minutes and the sidewalks were lonely without friendly passers. I found myself debating in my head to jump in the truck and go or move on with my life because he probably forgot about me. It wasn’t my favorite debate in the world then again either is politics.