I am broken. Please listen. |
Dear Joanna, As a young girl, I longed to have a friend. One that would not talk, one that would not judge or condemn, but one to listen and always be there for me. A friend for all times, one that I would not be able to annoy or repulse. And when I discovered I could write to you, and tell you all I had going on in my little tiny heart, I felt the fulfillment of having a very loyal friend. I am a little sad, as I opened myself up today. I lay myself on the table to be held, to be made love to, to be told sweet words to, but was not given even as much a look. You know how much I have longed for him, just to spend a single night with him. It is not my fault that Darrel looks at me with those lustful eyes and makes me want to give myself to him. It is also not my fault that he brushes my bosom when he walks by me, and 'accidentally' grabs my behind while standing behind me. It is also not my fault that I actually enjoy these little moments that should not take place, not in a good girl's world. The little kisses we stole while his girlfriend was not looking, those brightened my day. And the promise of a single night with him, well, that kept me attending my every day classes. Sometimes I would sit and imagine me and him together, and this would make me shiver. He just was the man for me. Darrel plays with my head. He twists my desire for him around, then side to side, then up and down. He pulls me along then lets me go, carries me up only to drop me. And then today he broke my heart. My little passions were trampled on. The hope for good times with him shattered.I do not know what to do now. He does not care for this little game we play after all. I do not get the chance to steal him away from that girl of his who I do not like a bit. Well, I will live to see a brighter day. And I will plan my strategy. Love. |