Chasing

Sleepless nights and empty days
faking happiness..
by putting a smile on my face.

My kindness is my weakness
and emptiness is my home
I am numb to my surroundings
and no one notices when I fall.

I thought I was independent
yet I am not independent at all.

I am scared..

..scared of love
and scared of trust
scared of pain
and scared of lust.

I have hidden from the world
in its dark empty spaces
then dead bolted the doors
I need time for my convalesce
I have put others before me
and no one trades places.

I tried to hide from my feelings
as if I don't need you
I thought all love stories had bad endings
I thought i would just end up lonely too.

I told myself it is better this way
there are some things i just never wanted to say
I want to be the one to break my heart
I'll do it before you can start.

You made me happy when no one else tried
you held my head the nights that i cried
and as hard as it is to say
you made the impossible happen today.

You made me give in
let down my walls
sneak you in
and build them up again.

I am in love with a boy
he has my heart in his hand
my life now has love to enjoy
and i am no longer the girl who ran.

.enn