work in progress --title later

CHAPTER 1

Hi, Lucifer here, I'm a little pissed off at the moment. I've been getting a lot of bad press (some of it deserved maybe) but I just want to set a few myths to rest and give my side of the story.

In the beginning or like all good stories, Once upon a time (always wanted to do that), no, seriously, the beginning.

Well there was just the BIG guy himself, he sort of just hung around creating things, stars moons planets universes and such like. Not much fun really.

I reckon he got a little pissed off himself, of himself really now I think of it. Anyway he came up with a brainwave, something he could talk to, have an auld chinwag, shoot the breeze.

So was born Gabrielle. A true blue (well white really, white knight an all that), loyal faithful agreeable, everything the BIG guy done was brilliant fantastic marvellous majestic. Licked ass so much that even the BIG guy (though he would never admit it, but I know that look) got pissed off.

So the BIG guy decided they needed some more company, me, Lucifer.

Yea things were great for a while, the BIG guy out there creating left right an centre, Gabrielle licking ass, this was great that was fab, yawn. Me, well. I believed in constructive criticism, mostly of gabby (that's what I called him, much to his annoyance, which gave me a bigger buzz).

The criticism (constructive or otherwise) stopped very quickly that faithful day, this was different, this was the real beginning, this was truly HIS GREATEST creation. THIS day would go down as the true BEGINING, this was the day HE created dinosaurs.

Naw I jest, HE could have stopped that big rock hitting though you know, even Gabby wonders about that one.

No, the big day was the day he created them, the first, ADAM an EVE.

Finally something worth while, wow now here was trouble (like the Horslips (Irish band) song, trouble with a capital T).

See up to this there was just the three of us hanging out, the BIG guy busily creating, Gabby busily licking, me well I just bitched and moaned a lot, but tell the truth we all got on.

I often noticed a little smile from the BIG guy when I riled Gabby who thought the BIG guy somehow got it wrong when he created me.

Me I thought the BIG guy got it wrong with Gabby, (even thought it himself I reckon), the guy was so serious so righteous an upright, like he had a poker up his ass.

Well anyway the three of us hung out, when the BIG guy wasn't out creating we'd hang muling over the big debates of the moment like who's turn it was to clean up or who really spilt all that milk the other side of the universe.

See Gabby's biggest problem was me, he couldn't hate me, that would be wrong. We were on the same side in those days. It really pissed him having to hold back an bite his tongue, if he'd only relaxed a little things might never have turned out the way the did. --- Na, who am I kidding , the were always going to go the way the did. I was always going to be this kind a guy.

Anyway where was I, oh yea, Adam an Eve.

Wow, here was something interesting at last.

The BIG guy got every little detail perfect first time, believe me this little lady was peeerrrfect. oooohhhhh was she.

Now this is where all the Trouble starts, there had been no ground rules for me an Gabby. The Big guy was so busy telling Adam an Eve what they could an couldn't do he missed the obvious, me an Gabby.

Well I tell you, as soon as I laid eyes on Eve I had my own plans, an it didn't involve Adam Gabby or the Big guy.

Right lets paint the picture as it really was, none of this is in any little book (till now).

Gabby noticed my interest in the folks down below (on earth, hell wasn't an entity then), but been the good guy he was true blue an that he had no bad thoughts, none that he let on about anyway.

Overhearing him an the BIG guy one day chatting I found out they thought I just finally found something to be interested in an they seemed happy enough for me.

Well this led me to hatching a little plan on getting down there an doing me a little mingling, on one of our little philosophical debates I suggested maybe Gabby should go an pay our little folks below a visit an see how they would react to a little temptation to see just how loyal or grateful to the Big guy they really were.

Wow imagine how surprised I was when Gabby said what a brilliant idea this was but that maybe I should be the one to go instead (yeah right), the BIG guy just smiled, he thought there was no way his new guys were going to let him down what with them already having everything they could possibly want already.

My idea won the day an a time was set for me to head down the only stipulation was that I couldn't take my own form I would have to blend in an take