Free will---A Boon Or A Bane!!

'This moment in life is not permanent'....so true...In 2006, Italy had been the World Cup Football champions and France the runners up. But in 2010, both the teams were ousted at the group stage matches itself... and the 'chronic underachievers', Spain, emerged Champions, the Nation no longer tarnished by the image of 'underachievers'....

However, if you expect a faithful and explicit account of how these nations traveled from 'zeroedom' to 'heroedom' and vice versa, you are greatly mistaken, for such is not my intention.My mother once told me that if I felt a deep pain in my heart(mind to be more precise) I should try to write down my feelings and that would help me feel less miserable...and that's what I am trying to do now..

Some times I feel that I suffer from a sub clinical form of chronic depression. I think that if God in all His mercy, decided to send an Angel with supernatural abilities, to talk to me and encourage me whenever I am depressed, the Angel will have to shift to my house with a full time job, for he/she might get tired of disappearing and appearing every few minutes...and if, the said Angel does shift to my house, then he/she will have to visit a 'heavenly psychiatrist' by the end of the first week!...so you can just imagine what it must be like for my parents!
( My mother is brilliant! I am feeling better already!)

Now wherein does my problem lie? My biggest problem is 'FREE WILL'! When God 'gifted' man with 'free will', He probably foresaw that several morons belonging to the species 'Homosapien sapien', will be totally at a loss as to what to do with it, hence He probably sat down, each day of the week,except on the 'Sabbath' and drew up the lines of destiny of each and everyone of his creations, living and non living, on this planet! Boy! He must have been really busy!
So maybe Hiroshima and Nagasakhi were destined to go up under a mushroom cloud and Columbia, the space shuttle, destined to fry in space.....

But in all this what scares me is whether my current status of being a divorcee and a single parent is the result of my 'free will' or His all powerful Will!

Over the last four years there has been a tremendous change in my life. For the last World Cup football matches I was just an Intern with a lot of friends and also a helpless prisoner in a cage of social, personal and moral obligation as the wife of a person with a lamentable lack of sensibility, sensitivity and responsibility and the mother of a 6 month old baby who couldn't distinguish his mother from the next person...But now in 2010, this World Cup football saw a very different me... a jobless divorcee, with few but true friends and a son who rides the elephant/horse/crocodile/alligator/and all other living creatures he knows, on my back! If this is destiny, His Will, then 'all is well'...If not I would have robbed my son of his father....

I do hope that this is a part of the path towards my destiny and that I am on the right track, that my marriage was just an unpleasant diversion.....

I wonder what's in store for me during the next 4 years!! I wonder where I will be when I cheer the next World Champions!!!