queen mary

“Stop,” I shouted at her.  She paused and turned her head in that seductive way that I knew all to well. Her golden hair fell past her shoulders in long waves and she turned toward me and tilted her head slightly downward as if to appear more humble. 
         “Yes,” she said sweetly, in a voice so seemingly innocent and pure it made me grit my teeth with fury.
          “You know what,” I spat at her, too blinded by hate to contain my anger any longer.  “You put me in danger every day and night!  With every little flirtatious word that comes out of your heinous mouth, with every man that has you, with every little one of your sinful whore tricks!  One of these days someone will grow tired of you and start talking.  They will tell all the horrible thing you have done!”  She remained in the same position, her face reveling nothing.  The seconds tick by and nothing happens.  The awkwardness is thick in the air but I can hardly feel it.  I hadn’t said half of the things I wanted to.
         “Well, I am sorry you feel that way sister.  I had hoped we were past this, and it is deeply saddening that you think of me in this way. I must be going now though,” she replied in a soft voice, so quiet I had to lean in to hear.  With that, she turned away form me and started down the narrow corridor toward yet another man seeking her company no doubt. My head was pounding so hard I could barely see. 
         “come.. back!” I tried to say but I couldn’t stop crying. Hot tears were streaming down my face and I let out a few silent sobs.
         “Your majesty?,” came a voice from across the courtyard.  Oh no, the guards.  I quickly composed my face and wiped my eyes with my richly embellished sleeve. Only when I was sure my face wouldn’t give away anything, I turned toward the man and replied “yes?” Now there were two guards and they were walking toward me, their shoes clacking with every step they took.  The noise echoed down the almost empty walkway. 
         “I am sorry to disturb your majesty but when you disappeared from your rooms, everyone became worried.  We came to make sure you were all right,” said the taller one.  They both just stood there and said nothing.  The one who had spoken was taller and leaner while the other was shorter. 
         “Well, if that’s all you came for, you can go back and tell everyone that I am perfectly sound and that I will be returning momentarily.”
         “yes, your majesty,” they replied one right after the other.  With a little wave of my hand they were off down the little path toward my rooms where I was sure everyone was just fine without me.  Ever since I had announced my proposal to Philip II of Spain, I have been more and more rejected by my own people.  I don’t know why they refuse him so. They must have known that I would choose a Spaniard because if they thought I would choose some French prince then they are mistaken.  My mother was Spanish and her same blood runs through my veins.  It is my duty to be loyal to my country of my mother’s origin.  I have been tied to Spain since the moment I was born and it will always remain a very big part of my life. The thought of my people sleeping in their homes, hating me for doing something completely normal was hard to take. 
         I slowly made my way toward my chambers and with a nod of my head, the huge doors swung open in front of me and I stepped into the room.  All the girls were scattered around and men and women socialized all around the room.  Once they all noticed my presence, they sweept me a deep bow or curtsey and went back to whatever they were doing before I was there and I became like a ghost again, ignored and completely alone. 
Though they would never admit it, I know I am not wanted at my own court.