another day of pain

Today is not unlike any other, but the pain is dreadful and she wants to find some release. That voice in her psyche is wandering out towards her mouth “I just want to die”, it’s repeated. She saunters to her asylum, where her thoughts whirl and her choices quarrel with one another. This is no way to live, or is it the only way for her, she doesn’t know how she would do it or would that be an impulsive decision. She has always lived in the moment, borderline insane; there were once whispers of her idiocy. One second, the pain has increased everything must halt……..back to the race, she might finish this. This place is so silent why can’t her mind mimic this peace, these thought are ill and flying around at unusual earth-shattering frequencies. She forces her trembling hands against her face leaving imprints on her cold goose bumped cheeks. Leaning towards the floor and then back against the wall she yells but nothing comes out, she tries again. Hold on, the pain is decreasing, she might prevail…return to the conclusion of this existence. She releases her hands and looks in the mirror, her face hot to the touch yet numb to the sense of survival. Tears drib down her faces, slope over her mouth...Elated that she weathered this storm. Sadly her ecstasy falls dramatically because she remembers this day is not unlike any other, now there is tomorrow.