after the storm

beloved angel,
only now an angel i cannot see, yet i cannot turn away from you.
another chapter, this one i write alone.
it is all i can do to mask my true self, cut off from the world- this world- which no longer exists for me.
my soul has seperated from me
wherever you are, it is with you.
i endure the void of every minute of every day.
even while i sleep, i am utterly restless, exhausted, literally crumbling.
but the sad excuse for sleep is lost to the place my spirit once was.
it left to search for you and has yet to return.
i am not comforted. if it had found you, it would have remained, and at last be calm, at peace.
do you keep comming to me in dreams to return it and i refuse to take it back?
are you trying to comfort me because i am mad?
we find eachother lifetime after lifetime, and only when  this life closes for me,
when i know that our life together is limitless, will i finally rest.
no matter how unbearable my life seemed here, my one true salvation was
knowing you were merely blocks away, a simple phone call.
i would drop anything if you needed me, and you would battle my demons and drive half way across the country to save my useless life year after year.
and here you are.. just now. thank you.
a single sense i can still feel.my favorite sense.
this is when you take me to the sea and we sail aimlessly under the 
moonlight sky..
..tonight , vienna or rome..
to see you bathed in light from gothic stained glass windows, and a thousand tiers of white candles filling an ancient catherdral.
this night and forever