Bryce Keegan's Dear Diary

12 January

Dear diary,

My New Year’s resolutions’ for the year are much the same as everyone else’s every year:

Lose weight / get fit
Don’t get kicked out of this school or it’s off to the military
Pass school year 9 with a decent grade
Get a job
Keep the job
Save some of the money
Make new friends
Keep old ones
Remember everyone’s birthdays
Don’t be the only guy at the school dance without a date
Move up the school popularity list NOTE TO SELF: SCHOOL SUCKS
Try not to kill Jesse it’s not her fault she’s a pain in my butt
Get in and stay in mum’s good books
Successfully keep a diary (For the first time ever)
Complete all of the above resolutions

Ok my resolutions list maybe a bit longer than most, but I was told to write everything so I did.
That’s right ‘told’... told how to write my own diary after all this thing was definitely not my idea. I’m 13 and this is far from what I perceive as a good use of my free time, more a huge waste of time. So if your reading this I apologize but HEY what are you doing reading it in the first place this is private!!

Well if you’ve read this far then I guess I haven’t and or can’t stop you. (But if you’re related to me and your name is Jesse GET YOUR STICKY FINGERS OFF MY BOOK OR ILL FLUSH UR FISH DOWN THE TOILET) If you’re not well you can blame my newly acquired psychologist for what you are about to read. He’s making me write this. Normally I wouldn't bother, but I'm making a special effort for mum. Who had better not read this either!!

I’ve been in high school for one year and have already been kicked out of all of the schools within transport distance (7)… all but one, my new school… East Gerald’s High. This of course was mum’s last pick for a school to send me to as it has a really bad reputation.
Kind of like me I guess, getting kicked out of seven schools definitely doesn’t help.
E.G.H. was and is the lowest graduating class ever, with the highest drug and violence count known to man and offers few opportunities to students. Not to mention the dodgy teachers!! On a positive note it’s within skateboarding distance.

Ok so now you’re expecting me to tell you all the stupid and horrible things I did to get myself kicked out of seven schools… Well I’m not gonna tell you, just joking I kind of have to because every time I make an entry it has to have certain things in it, as directed by my psycho analysis!!

PSYCHO’S
Objectives for first entry:
Write New Year’s resolutions (as many as possible) DONE IT
Brainstorm ways they can be completed (write them down) BRAINSTORM YEAH THAT’S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE… NEED PAIN KILLERS!!
Focus on school results and mistakes, and then write how you are going to make an effort to improve and not to let them happen again
Use proper English NO SLANG and AVOID CURSING PROBABLY WONT BLOODY DO IT
Write freely don’t hold back
Always have a positive note YEAH THAT’S MY SKATEBOARDING COMMENT
Write neatly (use computer if necessary) NECESSARY!!
Date all work (remember if you do a good job with this it can count towards your English results) WELL I’VE ALWAYS SECRETLY BEEN GOOD AT ENGLISH I JUST NEVER REALLY GOT THE CHANCE TO PROVE MYSELF… I GUESS THAT’S WHAT YOU GET IF NONE OF YOUR TEACHERS LIKE YOU!!

So there they are… Guidelines!! Guidelines on how I should write my own diary, a diary that is supposedly going to help me stay inline and pass year 9. We’ll see…

So where was I before I got psychtracked…? (I wonder if I get extra points for making my own word?) Oh I remember I was going to tell you what I did to end up here…

Well looking back I did a lot of things I probably shouldn’t have and because they are so numerous I’ve decided I’m only going to write about one school a day. So for today I guess we can start with the first school I attended.

Redcliff Senior High School
Nice school, big school, expensive school... Full of snobs. Not nice I’ll admit, but true.
Mum paid a lot of money to get me into that school and I kind of felt bad when I got kicked out but you’ve got to believe me when I say it wasn’t my fault.

When I started high school I wasn’t a bad kid, I did my assignments on time (most of the time), it’s not like I was looking for trouble… it just seemed to find me!!

March 21st (About a month into the school year)
The day I left Redcliff.
So it was a Wednesday, school started at 8:30 and my first class was English.
I walked into class and sat with my mates Tom and Craig who were deep in conversation about a TV show they had watched the night before, (Something about shark attacks). Talk about chatterbox, man Tom could talk. It’s probably why we were and still are such good friends, never a dull moment. Tom and I have been best friends since year 3, he moved here from a small town in the country and for a kid from the country he had such a bubbly personality we instantly became friends.
Anyway the lesson started like any other…
Our teacher Mr Thompson walked in late with a much younger; Miss Getts. Both laughing and giggling flirtatiously, obviously both had forgotten there were students in class. Mr Thompson is in his early forties, average height, rather lean and walks with a limp, from memory I believe he was an ex state table tennis player... Sexy! His gray hairs seemed to be becoming more visible each day making his naturally dark hair look almost styled in a funny way.
Miss Getts on the other hand very youthful in her early twenties could probably pass off as a student here. A short athletic build brunette, a hit with all the men I’d assume as she was with most boys at our school. In fact I’ve never seen one single person have so many graphitised remarks written about them within the one school she was practically worshipped on the walls of the boys’ toilets. Rather puzzling therefore that she be hanging around our not very desirable English teacher.
The second bell rang to tell the teachers it was time to commence class. After that bell goes if you’re not in class you are officially late, therefore making Miss Getts late. She soon realised this and quickly took off with a shy wave to Mr Thompson.
Naturally Mr Thompson was embarrassed also realising the time and the fact that he had an audience to see his extremely crimson face. His embarrassment snapped him out of what seemed like a love spell. His reaction resembled a slap to the face. This got the lesson off to a bad start, as he was now in his quite common bad mood.
Of course it didn’t help things when the class began to muck around during his roll call.
Mr Thompson is the kind of person that has a list of what needs to be done and a way of doing them. Roll call in his eyes is one of the most important parts of the lesson and should be addressed as such. Whilst it is being announced, the class is to be silent until their name is read. In the instance of this you are only to reply with either, ‘here’ or ‘present’ any other response or chatter will automatically earn you a detention.
During this one unfortunate roll call...

“Pssst!” I turned around to cop a screwed up piece of paper right on the snoz, Tom’s excellent throwing skills.

“Shit!” I yelled and turned again to look at Tom who appeared to be fading his face as white as the sheet of paper before him. Worry seeped through my entire body I began to shake, not only had I yelled in class I had cursed and in the middle of Mr Thompson’s roll call. I turned slowly in fear the shaking becoming worse with every ounce of energy I used. I turned shocked to find Mr Thompson fuming red as a beetroot above me, I imagined smoke coming out of his nose and ears like a dragon. In his hand he held that missile-like screwed up piece of paper.

“KEEGAN!” he yelled “Out of your seat, IMMEDIATELY! Here’s some English for you... F... O!” The class gasped, had our ‘proper’ English teacher slipped up in his anger?

“Front Office” He remarked a smirk of content smeared across his face. A quiet ripple of laughter travelled through the class. What was on that paper? Was I the only one that had not read it? Embarrassed I quickly collected my belongings and headed for the front office. Walking swiftly across the quad I began to worry, I’d never been in trouble like this before.

In primary school I’d once been told off for picking a booger and flicking it off my finger to the girl across from me, but I wasn’t doing it as an act of bullying or anything. She was picking and eating her boogers and she looked like she couldn’t find any more so I did it as a kind gesture you know I was just helping her out. Naturally the school and my teacher believed it to be an offence that my mother should hear about. Mum grounded me for a month and ever since that day sends me to school with a hankie.

So as I was walking to the front office I figured I may as well use the bathroom you know it’s on the way and who knows when my next chance will be. I ducked into the toilet near the canteen, common ground, manliness, the smell of man... Well more like the smell of urine n pot but close enough. I quickly used the urinal so I could admire the potty art and then once again made my way to the office wondering what punishment awaited me when I got there.

“Hi my names Bryce, I was sent here from Mr Thompson’s class English year 9”

“Sure, your last name?” she asked as she sifted through some documents she had in a pile on her desk.

“Keegan” I replied was she not aware I was coming?

“Take a seat Mr Keegan, someone will be right with you” she said flashing me a smile. Wow! She was awful polite, I thought I was going to get bawled out by everyone for sure. Shocked I grabbed the seat nearest the door. She seemed nice enough I thought to myself, a short blonde haired woman with petite features. She looked old enough to be a grandma but from the makeup she was wearing looked like she was trying to hide her age, I’d peg her for late forties.
Ten minutes passed as I sat in the chair I looked at the work and trophies on display imagining myself to be the astronaut encountering the slimy green aliens with multiple eyes and hands. How I’d much prefer to be in outer space confronting an unknown creature than waiting to hear my fate for a crime I did not commit.

Finally in waddled the deputy principal, yes I did mean waddle. The deputy Mr Jacobs moves like a duck feet turned out and shuffle, kind of like a penguin. I guess he does it because of his large gut, he can best be described as a stubby bald man with a belly that makes him look as if he eats students for breakfast.
He was coming straight for me, my legs began to shake he looked like he was ready to pummel me, though just thinking about it, he looked like that twenty four seven.

“Mr Keegan?” His voice didn’t fit his body at all, I was expecting a deep bloke like voice but he sounded very well spoken and slightly high pitched... Odd!

“Yeah that’s me” I replied in my manliest deep voice, I felt as though I had to make up for the lack of manliness in his as I stood to meet him.

“Right this way”. He began leading me to his room but stopped next to the polite lady at the front desk who served me when I first got there.

“Just continue on straight down the hall second door on the left, it’s open so just take a seat” he said turning back to the lady, so they could begin a quiet conversation I couldn’t hear. I began the walk peeking into every door on the way, the rooms were small and empty like those rooms you see on cop shows were they are interrogating suspects. Of course these rooms don’t have double sided mirrors but instead have large filing cabinets. I made a left into the room I was told to enter and took a seat. I wasn’t sitting long before Mr Jacobs entered and shut the door behind him.

“Right mate you’re in quite an amount of trouble, Mr Thompson says you’re a little shit and the paper note you wrote is a crock he wants you in time out immediately!” I was shocked where did Mr Jacobs well mannered speech go? Was it all an act? Was this the real deputy behind closed doors? I decided to plea my innocence.

“Mr Jacobs, sir, I swear I didn’t write that note, I don’t even know what it says. Honest!” I pleaded not only with words but my eyes, truth be told I was ready to beg on my knees.

“Right well I’m feeling pretty generous so I’m going to give you a chance to prove you ain’t a complete waste o’ space, you earned yourself detention during recess and lunch and you can spend the rest of this lesson helping Ms Brown with some minor errands until next class... Clear?”

“Crystal, Sir!” I swiftly replied relieved.

“Go on then outta my sight before I change my mind” he grumbled.

Feeling extremely lucky I completed some simple errands to finish out the period. Up until detention I was on my very best behaviour, science was a breeze the class spent the full hour taking notes on the eco-system. Everything was going so well with any luck it would be two quick detentions then all would be well again. As soon as the siren rang I swiftly packed my belongings and hurriedly made my way out the door. I didn’t bother going for food I didn’t want to be late so I headed straight for the detention room.

On my way I passed a hall in which BJ had a much smaller year 8 against a locker by the throat. On any other occasion if not stepping in I would have at least gone for a teacher to help, but not today I didn’t want to risk getting into any more trouble, I figured I’d just tell the supervising teacher in detention. When I got there the room was empty I took a seat near the door and waited as patiently as I could drumming my fingers on the table.

Soon after, a couple of students entered and when they realised there was no teacher quickly left. I considered leaving but I just couldn’t, what kind of punishment would Mr Jacobs appoint me for not showing up for detention. I waited instead for about 5mins when in walked BJ closely followed by Mr Morris a tall muscular man who I’ve heard works part-time in the wood and mechanical workshop. Both looked rather upset about their having to spend recess in detention, BJ being the boisterous child that he is decided to let his frustrations be heard.

“This is unbelievable, you’re not even a real teacher! Besides that kid owed me money! You just wait! You’re gonna lose your job, when my Dad finds out what happened!” Just as he said this, in walked the kids whom had earlier left hoping to get out of detention.

“Sorry we’re late” they echoed.

“Sit down all of you or you will all be spending the week in here!” Grunted Mr Morris he didn’t sound even a little bit worried by BJ’s threats. The kids all moved quickly to the back of the room to sit down.
BJ walked over to me and lent over my table his very large hands gripping either side.

“Keegan, you’re in my seat... MOVE!” He yelled the words right into my face and boy did his breath reek.

“BJ sit down, that’s enough!” Yelled Mr Morris, he was clearly getting quite bored with BJ’s persistence to be disruptive. With one great heave BJ had taken my table from me and put it beside where I was sitting. Muttering under his breath he fell harshly on top of it staring at Mr Morris just daring him to do something about it.

“Mr Morris Sir” a meek voice came from the door. In walked a skinny red haired boy heaving he looked like he was trying to out-run a lion the poor kid was terrified.

“What is it Russel?” Mr Morris inquired quickly jumping to his feet.

“There’s a fight...” The boy paused for a breath “in the main quad... Two kids... From year ten” he panted trying to catch his breath “There’s blood and all” he managed. Mr Morris seemed to puff out his chest kinda like birds do when their ready to mate. He now appeared ready to break up the fight he quickly turned to leave but stopped in the doorway to bestow a warning “Don’t any of you leave or I’ll have you all in detention for the month!” With that he and the red haired kid left.

Instantly after Mr Morris was out of sight BJ stood on top of my stolen table demanding attention like a drill sergeant. “So... What’s everyone in for today?” He pointed to two girls up the back that were quietly chatting both turned and giggled. One shouted back.

“Texting in class!” Unsatisfied he then turned his attention to a boy with his feet on the table. “What about you?”

“Cheating on a test” He mumbled and pulled back his sleeve his arm was covered in writing.

“I know what you’re in for Keegan!” BJ turned on me.

“You do?” I asked maybe he knew what was on that paper.

“Sure I do, you’re here because of that note about Mr Thompson and Miss Getts. The pictures really helped to explain their relationship, you’re a real hero!” A smile grew on his face as he began thrusting with his groin.

I felt terrible, I would never do anything like that.

The room filled with chatter, was I really a hero?

“Come on people! Do you really believe this wimpy little shit even knows what sex is? He didn’t do it! That note was mine his big arse head just got in the way of my air mail!” Everyone started laughing, I felt so embarrassed, I'm sure my face was turning crimson. What had I ever done to BJ? I didn’t deserve this, I hadn’t done anything wrong.

“That’s right you LOSER! You’re in here because of me!” He laughed at the top of his lungs. Before I knew what I was doing I had leapt to my feet and had grabbed BJ by the collar of his shirt. He smiled at me, that was the point when I knew I was gonna be in big trouble. The class echoed a chorus.

“Fight! Fight! Fight!”

Before I knew it I’d been punched in the face and was on my back at the front of the class. I managed to pull myself to my feet and swung at BJ who ducked allowing me to plant one fair on the face of the returned Mr Morris. BJ quickly jumped back on his desk a lucky escape.

“KEEGAN! With me now!” He yelled fuming. I followed very quietly behind him, I was gonna cop it this time I was sure. But to my surprise he just dropped me off at the time-out room.

“You’re lucky this time Keegan!” he muttered and left rubbing his very red jaw.

This was my second ever time in time-out the first... I was unfortunately caught swearing loudly at Craig for pinching my bare leg under the table during a science test, which I failed.

The time-out room was always pretty empty in fact half the time there’s no one even supervising. Today I was unlucky enough to have the company of a year 10 whom I had learned was Matt, total rebel, spends 90% of school time in time-out (I should add that that percentage does include school breaks such as lunch and recess).

“What up little man?” he said swivelling in the chair set aside for the supervising teacher.

“Hey!” I replied shocked that he would even give me the time of day.

“I’m Matt! So what you do?”

“I was in detention for a note I didn’t write then I got into a fight with BJ because he wrote it and I ended up hitting Mr Morris” I quickly slurred out.

“Wow hold up! Did you just say you hit a teacher? Sweet as little man! Didn’t think you had it in ya!” He wheeled the chair using his feet to behind one of the desks and bent down to grab something from his bag. “Want one?” He asked offering me a smoke. “C’mon mate it’ll calm you down!”
Feeling really uneasy I nodded and he threw me the smoke and a lighter.

I’d never really smoked before, Tom and I had once found a pack under the slide at the park in year 5 and had taken them home to try but we had got caught by his mum that night. Both Tom and I were grounded for a month. Tom said his mum was so angry she made him smoke them till he threw up.

I lit the smoke and took a drag as Matt watched with a smirk on his face. I coughed a little but it wasn’t so bad I kept going feeling pretty cool three puffs in we heard footsteps. “OW SHIT!” A look of concern appeared on Matts face “Stash it!” he whispered loudly as he flew out of the teachers chair into the chair behind his desk.

I didn’t know what to do, this wasn’t me. I began to cough uncontrollably panicking I looked around for a solution. I saw a fish tank near the door and thought it was my best chance I threw the smoke as best I could hoping, praying. Where was Tom when I needed an arm? I quickly jumped back in my seat just as Mr Jacobs walked in. “So Keegan this is the thanks I get...” He trailed off distracted. Matt looked at me he looked terrified, I didn’t get it had I missed something?

“What’s that smell?” inquired Mr Jacobs as he circled the room nose out bum up sniffing like a dog.
I looked to Matt beginning to worry myself, he looked to have shrunk in his chair. Matt the schools biggest rebel was shaking then he pointed in the direction I’d thrown the smoke I looked only to find that yes I had missed something... I’d missed the tank and I’d swished it into the bin that just happened to be filled with paper and tissues and was now on fire.
I felt all the blood drain from my face this was it Mr Jacobs was gonna eat me like a dogs dinner I was a goner.

“Keegan? You’re looking pretty guilty right now! What did you do you little shit?” I didn’t reply I couldn’t my throat was suddenly very dry the most I could make out was a groan.

Mr Jacobs getting angrier by the minute turned on Matt. “What is this you mates now? Huh? All for one and one for all! I don’t mind I’ll punish you both, two birds with one stone!” He then turned to see what had both mine and Matt’s attention. He was shocked to find a roaring fire that had travelled from the bin up the wall.

Needless to say Matt and I were both expelled Matt for possession of cigarettes and me? I of course was expelled for smoking on school grounds as I smelt of cigarettes and for being the arsonist that lit the school on fire all to which was added to my swearing in class, a revealing note, fighting with a student and assaulting a teacher.

So there you go school 1 Redcliff High and the day I got expelled. But that really was just the beginning!
But I guess you’ll just have to wait till tomorrow for the next instalment.

K Dog signing off!