A strange present

It had been left at his doorstep. He almost stepped on it as he went out. A little gift wrapped box was on his doormat. He picked it up and saw a small white card taped on it. On it, the words “merry Christmas” were written in red ink.

He was already late for work, so he simply placed the box inside his home and locked the door. He would open it, when he returned.
He briefly wondered who could have left him the gift, and quickly decided that it must be a neighbor. Mrs. Smith was the most likely candidate. The sixty eight year old lady often gave him and the other bachelors of the building home cooked biscuits and cakes. He doubted that it could be Cindy from the first floor, despite having slept with her on several occasions. She was mostly the type to request presents rather than give them. Paul and Thomas from the fourth floor were good friends, but the only reason for them to give him anything would be as a prank. Similarly Mina, from the apartment across his, would most likely poison him especially if she ever found out that he had had a one night stand with her sister.

His workday was filled with stress and last minute jobs to be completed. The last week before the New Year was always hectic. Upon his return at home, he had all but forgotten about the small box. Stumbling, in order to avoid stepping on it, was nevertheless a sure reminder of its presence.
He took it and brought it with him into his pristine looking kitchen. He opened the refrigerator, took out the bottle of wine, and an apple. With his glass by his side, he turned the brand new flat screen television on, and focused on the item before him. With methodical movements he removed the wrapping. A simple carton white box. He opened it and stared at the content. Why would anyone be sending him a thermometer, and a strange one at that? There was no temperature indication. There were two slots on it, each one of them having a blue ink line in it. He looked at the strange object from all sides, but failed to understand its purpose.

Curiosity was one of his faults. There was no way he could rest without finding out what this was. He could ask Paul whether this was some sort of a joke but did not want to appear ignorant. He could always ask Cindy, but she might want to spend the night with him and he was tired. At the end he chose to ask Mrs. Smith, even if he had already decided that she would not have sent him such a strange item.

“Merry Christmas, Jack! Would you like some cookies?”

“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Smith. No thank you, I only wanted to ask you a question. Someone left this on my doorstep, and I wondered whether you knew what it might be,” he asked politely, and was more that baffled when she started laughing.

“If I were you, I would not hold it from that side. After all it is something you pee on!” she told him.

He paled.

“I will kill Paul!” he mumbled and turned to ring on the opposite doorbell.

“Oh, I very much doubt that this is a present from my young neighbor. It is a pregnancy test after all. And if there are marked indications, then I must tell you congratulations on becoming a soon to be father!” Mrs. Smith informed him not so laughingly any more. She sounded rather disapproving and cold.

And then he realized what she had told him and fainted.

It was undignified for a man in his thirties to faint. But then again, there was only one time in the last five years that he had not used any precautions.

When he regained consciousness he was aware that his life as he knew it was over. This was the worst Christmas present ever. His perfect bachelor life was ruined.

Mrs. Smith loved Christmas time. She baked cookies and she gave them to all her neighbors. Now as she rang the doorbell of her favorite one, she smiled. The door opened and a scene of chaos greeted her. She stumbled over baby toys, but managed to reach the kitchen, where milk bottles and pacifiers were laid haphazardly on the table, while bottle warmers and other paraphernalia littered the counter. She found a blank spot and laid the cookies.

She then looked at the man holding the baby and wondered at his expression of happiness.

“So tell me, Jack, was it indeed the worst Christmas present ever?” she asked him, knowing the answer.

“No, Mrs. Smith. It was the strangest, but best gift, I could have ever received. The only disadvantage of it is having Mina for a sister in law. And thank you, since I was only recently informed, that a certain lady of this building stole the pregnancy test from the apartment next door and delivered it at my doorstep,” he replied.

In the years to come, guests often wondered, why one would place such an item in a frame on the wall. His family knew that it was a reminder of the joy to be found in unexpected strange presents, especially the ones that it takes time to appreciate.

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