Amaria

         The balance between good and evil is a tricky thing. Good is light, love, the very essence in which we all try to base our personal character on. Evil is darkness, hatred and judgment. Evil brings pain and suffering and nothing else. This is where things become confusing. Good can do bad and bad can do evil; but can evil do good and good do evil? Good can bring pain and sorrow. So does good really even exist? Good people can make bad decisions and still be good. Is it possible that evil people can make good decisions? Can evil love the way good can? These are questions that we may never answer, but are they worth thinking about? Absolutely.
~
         She quieted her heavy breathing as they slithered through the dense forest. She could feel the thick frame of the tree trunk supporting her back as she paused to take surveillance. The weight of authority slumped her shoulders down, the power slowly becoming too much for her to control.
         “Control is power, but is power control?” The thought crossed her mind as she led the way to their destination. “You can have power without having control, but when you have control you have power.” She shook out the confusing riddle from her head and recommitted to the focus that was needed.
         She took the journey one step at a time, just one foot in front of the other. A brief flash of red entered her peripheral vision. She hissed loud enough for the others to hear her warning, but quiet and gentle enough for any unknowing outside party to suspect a snake creeping through the woods.
         “Please, we’re so close, don’t mess this up now,” She sent the message to the others through their shared channel of thoughts.
         Among the most common reply she got was, “You got it boss.”
         Their reassurance calmed her a bit, making the task slightly less unbearable. Their confidence in her gave her the strength she needed to be their leader. If this went well she would finally become one of them. Nineteen years of hard work had led up to this point and all she wanted was to not let him down.
         The stakes become even higher as she placed him in mind. As much as she hated the idea of disappointing the others, letting him down would simply kill her.
         They were getting closer and she could feel it. She reviewed the details and the plan again in her head, broadcasting them to the others as well. “Remember, the Count and Countess are on their way from the palace. The trunks should be nicely filled with gifts from ‘his majesty.’ So I’ll hit the side of the cart, sending the driver and the passengers into a panic. Parkton and Briton you will block the doors and the windows, cutting off all escape routes. Kim, Darius, Embery and Daniel you’ll wait by the side of the road and haul the trunks back to Matox. The rest of us will follow shortly after sending the Royals on their way. Everyone understand?”
         She continued on in silence, concentrating on her carefully placed footsteps while awaiting a response. Minutes passed before anyone replied. They seemed to give off a nervous aura, all-unsure of the responsibilities ahead of them.
         Darius was the first one to speak upon his concerns. “Mmm, I don’t know about this Amaria. The plan sounds good, but something just doesn’t feel right.”
         The others murmured in agreeance. Their lack of faith shook her, she questioned whey they were unsure of her leadership now. They all paused, wondering what course of action they would take.
         “I say we continue forward. The plan is full proof, stop being such babies and suck it up.” Parkton assured the crowd. Some agreed quickly, while others hesitated before giving in.
         “Good, I’m glad to see we’re all on the same page. Now we’ve wasted enough time here, let’s move.” She demanded. The power of leadership coating her voice in a way that the others new she was dead serious. They continued on, more hesitant then before, but their orders kept them going. Either they would succeed together, or they would fail together.
         They spread out in a line of the side of the road, hidden from view by the thick trees and burly bushes.
         “Now, they should be coming around the bend any second now. I know you’re hesitant to do this, but we’re here and we’re going to finish what we started. End of story. Just execute your parts properly and we will all be fine.” Her speech was networked to the group, but instead of calming them as she had expected she seemed to have the opposite affect.
         The carriage rumbled down the road right on schedule. The driver looked distant and unconcerned and the carriage was guarded on both sides with royal guards riding on majestic black stallions.
Amaria held her calm air as the new opposition in the plan arose.“Hm, okay. Interesting. Let’s see… Kim and Daniel you will move swiftly into the middle of the road and stop the progress of the carriage. Enlist the assistance of the guards, just spin some story. I don’t know, you’re smart enough to come up with something believable.
         “While you two do that Embery and Daniel will sneak up behind the guard and take them out. Injure them, but don’t kill. And try not to spill any blood; this is going to be messy enough without having to clean up any bodies. Plans will proceed as normal, with the exception of the horses coming back to camp with us. Got it? Go!”
         She watched from behind the tree as her newly devised plan played out. Kim and Daniel hobbled onto the road, looking just as common as meager beggars. She watched with pride as she observed their improvised clothes change, dirt was smeared on their faces, rips were torn in their clothes and Kim carried a wooden stick, quickly carved to take the form of a walking stick.
         The carriage paused as expected and Amaria held her breath as they told their story to the guards. The wind only carried bits and pieces of tale to her, putting her even more on edge.
         “No money… deceased son… food… traveled along way… please sir…” Kim begged in a rugged voice, it was harsh and lowly. She was playing her part perfectly. Daniel on the other hand looked suspicious and intense. Refusing take part in their story. She cursed Matox for sending her out with the new kid.
         She returned her attention to the road just in time to see the guards fall to the ground with Embery and Darius standing behind them. “Very well played, continue on,” she praised.
         Parkton and Briton moved to the doors and forced them to stay shut. Amaria moved out from the forest while the driver hopped from his seat and scurried into the forest. She went around checking everyone’s progress. Her impatience growing as time quickly ran out.
         She was helping unload the trunks when a murmured disturbance caught her attention. She moved over to where Parkton was opening the side door of the carriage and inspecting the scene inside.
         “What do you think you’re doing?” she cried, using her voice instead of her thought as means of communication. “Don’t let them… escape…” her cry turned into a whisper as she soaked in the new information before her.
         The Count and Countess both lay face down on the velvet seats across from each other. Blood soaked the floor and the silk of their linens. No movement came from either of their bodies. 
         “Dead?” she confirmed.
         “It seems so,” Parkton assured.
         “Source of death?” she questioned Darius who had been a medical doctor before joining the crew.
         Darius thumbed the passengers brushing a hand here and there across their bodies. “Mm, From what I can see, the most plausible cause of death would be some poisoning of some sort. Definitely murder, not a lot of adults accidentally poison themselves. The bodies are still fairly warm, so they died shortly after leaving the castle.”
         “Murder? How is this possible? Matox said… if they were murdered that either means the carriage driver and guards were in on it, or they hadn’t had the sense to check on the Royals since leaving the castle. The second is unlikely due to the fact that the journey from here to the castle is two hours long, the guards should have checked on them at least once since leaving,” she assumed.
         “But all of this is circumstantial, we don’t know if any of this is even true.” Parkton argued.
         “Yes, we don’t, but it’s still the best lead we have.” Her nerves began to get the best of her; her mission which had once been so simple had completely turned upside down. She closed her eyes and breathed. The world around her fell back, the noise and cluster of the group faded until she was alone in the darkness. She pulled herself together and came back to the real world.
         She exhaled and took charge again. “We have to make this look like we had no involvement whatsoever. Darius, move the bodies back to the exact position you found them in. Also wipe the bodies where you touched them. We don’t want any prints leading back to us, not that there would be anything to find.
         “Daniel and Kim, check the trunks, make sure you remember where they are, take surveillance of what’s inside, if there’s something of value alert me, if not put them back the way you found them. Embery, as soon as Darius is done with the bodies you get the carriage going again. Everyone else, help where is needed. Hurry, the sooner we get back to Matox the better.” Her voice cracked towards the end. She usually gave orders telepathically and the strain from the continuous talking had gotten to her.
         She took a few steps back from the cart, but intently watched Darius handle toe bodies. He was intense and worked with a precision and determination, moving with quick speed to accomplish his task.
         Thoughts of confusion penetrated her mind, she questioned her leaders and their orders, but refused to question Matox. He wouldn’t do this to her, she knew he wouldn’t. She began to rationalize things, trying to have everything make as much sense of the situation could afford. She became absorbed in her own head, becoming unaware of the movement around her.
         “Amaria!” Daniel shouted, “You better come see this!”
         She sprinted over, pushing all previous thoughts aside. “What is it?” she panted.
         “We’re going to need to get back to Matox quick, He’s going to want to see this.”
~
         
         Amaria hacked their way through the forest back to camp. Her conscious weighting on her. The weariness from the discovery suffocated them all. They walked in silence, no one daring to upset the peace of the woods.
         She let her mind wander and set her body on autopilot. She refused to let herself believe this was her fault. How was she supposed to know they would be dead? No one else knew in advance, so why did the guilt slash through her?
         “Because I was the leader. Matox put me in charge and I failed.” She criticized herself, keeping her thoughts private. Matox’s name made her heart ache with a fierce wanting and a flame of fear. What would he do with her when she confronted him? Did she even want to know? She guessed not. No, she didn’t believe Matox would hurt her, but the disappointment and shame he felt would be enough to tear her apart.
         She could feel the other’s eyes lingering on her as they were engulfed by more jungle. She sighed internally and debated whether or not to face the crowd or let it roll off her back. She kept walking, but let everything go while she gathered herself again. She counted her footsteps, her shallow breaths and the breaths of those around her. She noted the movement of the animal’s unseen in her surroundings and the twigs and branches that snapped beneath their feet.
         After ten seconds of perfect peace, her mind leaked back into reality. The others continued to focus on her, but she refused to let it get to her as it had before.
One distinct moment of her past resurfaced and demanded her attention. It was a lesson she had been taught since the very beginning. It had been drilled into her head many times that no matter what the only person she could trust was herself. It she could on herself she would never need anyone else. She didn’t understand why that seemed so important until now. She held onto the thought, thinking she would need it sometime in the future.
         They reached camp quickly; everyone from the raid became tense as they crossed the boarders of the forest. They paused, awaiting orders, their confidence dwindling as they grew more unsure of what to do.
         “Embery and Parkton report with me to Matox, bring the chests. The rest of you are dismissed.” She gave her last order before motioning the two men to the war tent in the middle of the camp. They paused outside the entrance, leaving Amaria to face Matox alone.
         Hesitantly she stepped through the curtain. Matox was turned away from her, bent over a map and a thick letter. His head was buried in his hands. Stress crinkled his forehead. His subtle beauty overwhelmed her. She tried to place the features of his face into words and failed.
         As if reading her thoughts he flipped around to face her, the creases on his forehead clearing at the sight of her. “Ah, Amaria, welcome back. How did it go?” he asked, stepping toward her.
         “Well, see, that’s kind of what I came to talk to you about…” she fidgeted nervously with her shirt and hands. She kept her place as he moved within an inch of her face. Staying there fore several moments before backing away.
         He sat down on a table across from her, gesturing for her to continue.
         “The plan went ahead as it was originally supposed to, until we discovered the Count and Countess dead in the carriage. We suspect murder by poison. From what we can tell they had been dead for several hours, most likely having passed away shortly after leaving the castle. The bodies and fabric were covered in blood.” She was very straightforward with Matox, hoping for the best as her words slipped out.
         He paused, seeming unsurprised at the news. She assumed his lack of emotion was the practiced calm of a wise leader. “Hm, murdered? Was the blood their own?”
         The questioned seemed unusual to her, but she didn’t question Matox, “Um… I don’t know… but sir, there’s more.” She looked up from the dirt ground into his eyes, then back at the ground. “When we opened the trunks we discovered them empty, but we did find a letter…”
         “Addressed to whom?”
         “I… I don’t know. I didn’t read it.” She reached into her vest and pulled out the letter, placing it into his expectant hands.
         He mustered over the wax seal that held the paper together while she waited patiently for further orders. “Amaria, I know you’re mission didn’t exactly turn out the way you expected, but trust me when I say that what awaits you if your divine destiny. That’s where you need to be. Now run along, my dear.” He waved her away and then sauntered back to his original place.
         She left quickly, obeying orders as she was always taught too.
~

Amaria stumbled out of the war tent in a daze. She had expected some sort of retribution or chastising, instead she received comfort. His words confused her, they also pleased her. He had never particularly favored her, maybe things were turning around. Among other emotions her heart soared through the clouds. Was it possible that her long-lived love for Matox would finally be returned? She prayed that it would be.
The afternoon passed quickly, evening started to settle in among the tips of the mountains. Bright pinks, oranges and purples filled the sky. She stared up into the heavens, letting everything around her fade into nothing more then the noise of the world. She willed time to slow down while she gathered herself, bring the broken pieces of her heart together to make it whole again. The day had been a disaster from the moment she had opened her eyes, now letting every frustration vanish things didn’t seem so dreary.
As the stress of the day began to disappear a new fear gripped at the back of her mind. She felt distant from the others, from Matox, from her raid group, this was something that had never happened before. She glanced around the camp, seeing what she had seen for the past nineteen years and felt a sense of emptiness. She didn't belong here. The idea sent waves of pain through her nerves, as much as she wanted to object to the idea and bring herself to reason she couldn't. She knew it was true, why it took her so long to discover she did not know, but now that she had nothing would ever feel the same. Of course she would pretend nothing had happened, that this new knowledge had never crept into her mind at the most inconvenient of times. There was the possibility that she could live her life the way she had before, but she new that chance was slim, she wasn’t one to forget.
Attention was called throughout the camp, the siren they all had been trained to respond too rang through their minds. “Camp meeting,” Parkton thought to her, their channel of thoughts intermixing flawlessly to become one.
“Hm, guess it is. Most likely something to do with our little catastrophe this morning...” She sighed internally, letting her distress be known to Parkton. She let her guard down, knowing that whatever was said would stay between the two of them. Just as she spoke her concerns a small weight lifted off her shoulders. The fear wasn't completely gone, but just talking to him seemed to help.
“I doubt it. Whatever it's about isn't about us. Whatever information we uncovered today Matox will want to keep to himself. Besides, the whole mission wasn't a complete waste of time. I'm positive that the letter had something of value to it. So that makes the mission a success. You're a good leader, Amaria, none of us can argue on that.”
“Thanks, Parkton. I appreciate it. You'll always be my number two.”
Their thoughts drifted away from each other, making it impossible to hear what the other was thinking. The familiar phrase she had repeated a thousand times now sounded wrong to her. The words seemed empty, with less meaning then they normally held. Parkton had never expected to be anything more then second in command, but now as she looked at the man in front of her she saw all the potential the world could hold placed into his heart. She could feel that destiny had other plans for him then just being a number two.
The group gathered around the fire pit. The flames consuming the logs as the light of day drained from the sky, leaving the blackness of night to envelop them. Amaria sat down in an available seat closest to the fire. Her attention wandered from one thing to another until it settled on the flickering and crackling of the red, orange and yellow the fire. She studied the border of rock that made up the fire whole. She analyzed the way the rocks had been placed, what rocks were placed where and what sized and types of rock were used to create the monument before her. The more information she gathered the more she reflected on her ancestors, people that had walked in her footsteps before her, the individuals that had sat in her very seat, listening to their leader as she was about too. She had a new urgent desire not to let them down, to make them proud of her, all she wanted was their respect.
She didn't know how much time she sat still, eyes glued to pit, but the moment Matox spoke her concentration moved to his voice. He voice was filled with the majesty of a leader and the gripping tone of a storyteller.
“This is what makes him a good leader,” she decided, “when he talks, people listen. They have no other choice, his voice captures your soul and traps in until he ushers the last word.”
“Ladies and gentlemen,” he began, “I have gathered you tonight to resolve some unfinished business.” He looked around the fire, staring into each person's eyes as if that was a gateway to their souls. He lingered on each person only as long as was necessary then moved on. When he came to her, she sensed a flicker of hesitation and wonder. His eyes worked to catch hers and when they did all she could see was remorse. This startled her, for she had never had someone look at her the way he did. It was not a look she ever wished to behold again.
He continued on, trying slightly harder to keep the same level of control he had before. “I have received word of a new dawn on the horizon. A new time quickly approaching. The information is not only unsettling, but also extremely disturbing. The raid this morning was disappointing and a tragic misuse of leadership.” His words began to seep into her bones, chilling her to the core. She knew what would come next and she braced herself as best she could. “As you all know and understand no crime or misdeed goes unpunished here, that’s how we keep ourselves in control, hidden from sight. Our descendants before us used this same principle, and if it worked for them then it shall work for us as well. So, my dear family, I have no other choice but to hold those in charge accountable for this act.” He paused, letting the crowd go still around him, “Amaria, please step forward.”
She arose with the grace of a gazelle, keeping her face utterly devoid of all emotion. This was the expression she had been trained to hold in battle and in the face of an enemy. Was Matox her enemy then? She had learned that if someone didn’t stand with you they stood against you, but she couldn’t force herself to view him with hatred. Her years of vigorous training settled in to take control of her. All emotion set on the back burner of her mind. She was a warrior first, a women second and nothing could convince her otherwise.
She stood silently in the sea of people, among friends she had known and grown up with her whole life. People she looked up too, and some that looked up to her. She reviewed each person in her mind one last time, knowing she would not see them again. She realized she had messed up on the raid, but was this punishment really necessary? She believed in justice, but she also wasn’t opposed to granting second chances.
“Amaria was the leader of the raid this morning. She is responsible for all acts and deeds of herself and those that were in her care.” These words were spoken to the crowd, then he turned directly toward her and started deeper into her soul then he ever had before. “Amaria, I have no other choice but to expel you from this committee. I will have to ask you to gather your stuff immediately and never return.” He turned abruptly away from her, whether because of shame or fear she wasn’t sure.
Murmured remarks that flowed through the crowd turned into a murderous uproar. Shouts of rebellion and agreements echoed through the people. They all blurred together into nothing more then noise. None held meaning, she knew nothing short of a miracle could saver her now.
“Quiet!” Matox shouted, visibly angry, his voice turned from one of an elected leader to that of a dictator, “Now my decision is final, none of you can change that. Amaria, leave at once.” The crowd hushed, shaken into silence. No one had ever witnessed Matox in that manner before, but something about him shifted, and no one dared contend with him.
She turned swiftly, sauntering away from the crowd. She vowed that no matter what happened she would walk away from them with pride.
~
The pain of betrayal and rejection controlled Amaria for the remainder of the week. Time would pass in waves, quickly, then slowly, then quickly and back to slowly again. She didn’t pity herself, she was better then that, but something inside of her snapped. She couldn’t sit still for more then a minute without being bombarded with agony and suffering. The only family she had known had abandoned her. The life she had always lived was now forever out of her grasp. She had worked her whole existence for one goal that was now lost to her wretched mistakes.
         She stalked through the woods by night and slept during the day. She walked until her feet bleed and then kept walking. Nothing, no desire, no worry or pain could trap her, stop her from her new goal. She needed to escape. To run as far as she could as fast as was possible. The farther away the better. She hated to admit it, but now that she was on the run she had more time to think then ever before. She though about aspects and events in her life that she had locked away before. Reviewed them again and again until she created some plausible conclusion.
         One night she found herself sitting around the empty fire pit. Thinking back to her early childhood years, the agonizing training she had endured, the games she had played with the other children, the stories and fairytales that had been permanently branded into her memory. She focused on the pain she had felt, turning her weaknesses and suffering into strength. She had lost everything back at camp and she would never get those things back, but she promised that this would make her stronger, that no one could hurt her again.
         Her mind was swept up in a fairytale she had been taught as a child when a sudden break of a twig grabbed her attention. She resurfaced back to the bitterly cold night and the environment surrounding her. She sensed something lurking in the woods, waiting to surprise her. An attack? She didn’t believe so. She had been careful in her travels, making sure to leave no mark or trail that could lead anyone to her. Only the most skilled of hunters would ever have been able to follow her.
         The thick leaves of the tree parted and a figure descended into her temporary camp sight. The night was a dark shade of gray, the sky pressed around the figure, masking his face from her view. He held up his hands, his palm facing her, a gesture of peace. She arose from the log she was seated on and studied the man with a thorough examination. She could tell it was a man by the broad shoulders and the way he was built. Her eyes moved down his body, more and more of his features became clear and recognizable. Her heart skipped a beat and jumped back into normal rhythm, then it pounded furiously against her ribcage, threatening to rip its way from her chest.
         “Matox,” she acknowledged. She concentrated all of her energy on staying calm.
         “Amaria,” he sighed, “Mmm, how lovely to see you, such a refreshing sight.” Something about him was different, he was more sarcastic, his air was more conceited then before and he gave off an energy of triumph. His words to her were like a hard slap. She bite her tongue as hard as she dared without breaking skin, the man she had once fallen in love with had now disappeared, in front of her stood a stranger and she hated him for it.
         Her stance was defensive and she stood silent, waiting for him to make the first move. “I know after what happened there may be some hard feelings between us, but I have a proposition for you, so let’s not let past spats come between old friends.”
         A numerous amount of comebacks and sarcastic remarks entered her mind, but she held her tongue, curiosity overpowering her hatred. She gestured for him to continue, sitting on one of the two logs available. “I’m listening.”
         “Good, just because you’re not part of the family anymore doesn’t mean we’re not on the same side. In the letter you received for me I discovered some new information that could be valuable to us.” He paused, waiting for my reaction.
         “Last time I checked I wasn’t apart of us anymore, I’m not on any side anymore,. I’m alone. So how exactly does this apply to me?” She worked to make her tone bored and uninterested, when in her head she consumed every word he uttered.
         “Tisk tisk Amaria, let’s not be rude. Patience my dear, I will explain.” He paced around the camp, arms behind his back, head nodded towards the ground, focused. “I am not at liberty to disclose any information at this time, but the council and I have met and devised a way for you to come back to us. Because of this new threat, we have discovered that we are going to require a large sum of money. This is where you come in. The only place that holds the amount of money we are seeking is the King’s Treasury. We have discovered from inside forces that the palace is searching for a new maid. If you accept my offer you will go to the palace, live and work there until you are able to steal enough money to support our current needs. Everything is already set up for you, all you have to do is say yes. Interested?”
         She hesitated, waiting for the information to seep into her mind before she answered. A debate warred on in her mind. To accept or not to accept? That is the real question. She looked deep within herself for the answer she desired. As much as she wanted to object to the resolve she found she knew she couldn’t. She looked up from the ground, staring into his eyes before she responded.
         A mischievous grin spread across her face, anticipation lighting up her face. She burned with a new passion she had never experienced before. The burning leaked into her voice, turning to acid when she spoke, “Absolutely.”