Life

Life

I want to spin off into somthing that has no meanning and where i am not look at as something that makes cash. I want to be loved and given attention like everyone else. I wonder if at times in this world there are people like me that were not hugged enough as a child. I do think about the things that the almight has given me. I know that its more than enought but at times i wish it was a hug or a pat on the back from mom and dad that i did good that i needed. I guess that day will never come. I wonder at times if there will be someone who will ever understand me. I know that there are things in this life time that i will never understand. I also know that when things get hard its easy for me to look the other way. I think it makes me a crowd but i stand here sometimes in the tough situations and i tough it all out. I cant say that i have gotten what i wanted out of this life yet. i still need a better understandin on where this country is going to make a clear thought of where we might be in ten years. I hope that we are still alive and healthy well in my case more healthy than i am now. I suffer from panic attacks which come and go as they please i only see fit that i look for the lord for he is the one who is with me from day in and day out. I trust that he will do good by me and that he will give me the strangh that i need to keep this going. so it be his will that i live for another 50 years to see my unborn kids grow up and grandfather? I wonder how many kids i will have in this life.. i hope many to take care of me. Life we never know whats going to happen.