Identity

         “Who are you?” “Tell me a little about yourself.”
         Two short, yet open-ended questions that are designed to allow us to briefly brag about or criticize ourselves. As short and simple as the appropriate answer seems to be many of us, especially as adolescents, we struggle to find the “right” description for our identity. It is during the adolescent years that we take part in our deepest soul searching. We often judge ourselves too quickly, becoming comfortable with our answer to this familiar question, “Who are you?”
         However, as we continue to mature, we realize the perception we have of ourself changes rapidly, even every day. We begin to ask and answer the same question over and over again until the search to our true self comes to an end. It is because of this cycle of uncertainty that leads us back to the drawing board time and time again.
         So...... “Who are you?” The journey to a sufficient response, as we continue to learn about ourself, leaves us with hundreds of adjectives to choose from. “Who am I?” is a common question that asks us to define ourselves in typically, only a few words. Only the true survivors of this journey are able to splash their peers with a response that sets them apart from the more simple, yet cliche, self-description.
         Settling with the safe response of “hard working, loyal, friendly, determined,” etc., would be great- if only the rest of the human population didn’t also see themselves as hard working, loyal, friendly, and determined individuals. Finding just a few words to best define one person could take minutes. Finding just a few words to truly and completely identify that person is often a life-long project.

         As a teenager, even with dozens of not-yet-lived years, I am always asking myself this. “Who am I, really?” While attempting to define myself during my current adolescence stature, the pressure to figure out who I am and the person I want to become seems awfully rushed to me. I have always thought the whole idea of growing up is about the experiences we give ourselves. Our life experiences are what identify us; the memories, the lessons, the responsibilities, the mistakes, the suffered conse-quences; they mold us into who we are, who we wish to be, and who we become.
         At 18, it almost seems unrealistic to have already identified myself. I am in no rush to have an identity. Like most teens, I have established my personality, interests and hobbies. It is true that these aspects define me, but they don’t fulfill my identity. I believe our true identity lies within our hopes and dreams- what we are passionate about. In other words, our identity will come from not our successes, but how our successes were created. More than one person can achieve the same goal, but it’s the paths we take, the risks we take, the obstacles we face and how we overcome them that will reveal our identity. The details, or the personal touches, behind the making of our success forces our unique qualities to surface. Success in life doesn’t just happen once, and usually not during the “trial and error” period that is encouraged during adolescence. Success, and more importantly self-discovery, can last an entire lifetime. During this lifetime, our identities are constantly altered by the results of each new quality we have the potential to discover with each new day we are given.

         I can’t speak for everyone, but at this point in my life I’m OK with not having myself all figured out, that’s half the fun. I believe that most people my age get so lost while following the crowd, they forget to embrace the moments of self-discovery. I have learned to play by my own rules- create my own stroke. I don’t need sources like Cosmo to coach me through life. The one I am living is simply mine and cannot be solved with advice designed to make each and every one of its readers nod and think, “Wow. This is me exactly.” You know its not, but ‘Cosmo knows best,’ and you choose to believe these words mostly because maybe that’s all you have to make sense of. The beauty of life is that it doesn’t always have to make sense. Not everything has to fall into place in the order you think it should. Sometimes it’s better to live life without guide lines. Give yourself the power to make things happen- your own way. I pride myself on the level of independence I have reached over the past few years. Independence is one of those things you can’t go through life without. Learn to let go of anyone who serves as your security blanket now before it’s too late. Life will work that much harder to strip that blanket from you. Trust in yourself and trust in the life you have yet to live. Depending on others will you to lose control of what that life brings. Where independence leads, confidence and control are sure to follow. 
         There’s not much that can knock down a confident individual in control. I like to categorize the two together as a dynamic duo. I lacked a great deal of confidence while growing up. Moving and changing schools as often as I did caused me to shy away from personal growth opportunities. It wasn’t until my junior and senior years in high school that I truly started to gain total confidence. I learned that in order to learn about and get to know myself better, I had to strip my life of the things I found the most comfort in. One of the biggest securities for me was social conformity. I grew up telling myself that if I just became like the people who surrounded me, the insecurities I possessed would disappear. Once I settled into high school, it didn’t take me long to realize it only created more. I began to create an invisible shield to strengthen the characteristics I struggled to see within myself, the characteristics that eventually gave me the courage to scrunch up my nose to social conformity. Dare to be different. You become confident when you learn to shove aside the negativity others create around you. Achieve this and you’ll be surprised how much of a relief it is to escape the “everyone’s doing it” mind game. Embrace the moment when you finally feel alive in your own skin again. Embrace this chance to forget about ‘norms’ and refurbish the new, old you.
         I have discovered that I am happiest soaring through life blindfolded- well, almost. It’s the same feeling I get when I take my stance in the batter’s box. I zone in on the pitcher’s hip and wait for the ball to be released towards me. I know it’s coming, but my knowledge of the speed and spin is blinded. Keeping all of her options in mind, I have been trained never to commit until the ball is clearly visible in front of me. Deal with life as you see it. I have learned to avoid making assumptions and over-analyzing the things I am not sure of. ‘Good things happen to those who wait.’  Although it is completely possible could to establish a solid identity for yourself during the adolescent time in life, I believe that for many, it may take an entire lifetime to fully know and understand themselves. I believe people learn something new about themselves almost everyday, and they are leaving the world with self-discoveries not yet unraveled.