The Birthday Card

Word count: 850

Stan Douglas got a letter from a lady he used to love. She was an old flame of his and she was his dove. She sent him a birthday card telling him happy birthday, telling him she hopes he gets well. When he reads this letter his heart skips a beat because he's sick without his baby, he's sick without his dove because he still loves her and deep down he's sure she still loves him.

She lives in a place called Sugar Candy Mountain, in a house on a road Sugar Candy Lane. He goes to her house, knocks on her door and she answers. Surprise is written all over her face, she is utterly speechless and utterly taken aback by the man standing at her doorstep. He takes her hand, leading her to the bedroom, kissing her softly on her lips, touching her gently on her hands. He takes her into the room lie her down on the bed and make lover to her, over and over again, making her scream in excasty, making her scream his name.

"That was wonderful" she tells him. He smiles with a hint of smug satisfaction written on his face, he lies his head on the pillow "I know babe, I know" he says. She giggles, leans over, kisses him on the cheek shyly asking "You wanna do it again." His smile broadens in anticipation of another round of love making "Sure baby, I can go another round." She giggles even louder, excited and lustful. He makes to her again longer and harder than before, she passes out on the table. He lies her on the floor naked, nude.

"She is so damn beautiful" he thinks to himself. Her birthday card was amazing. Stan takes it out, admiring it's beauty, the words on the card and the pictures. He goes into the kitchen, lying the card on the counter. Stan opens the frig looking for bread and meat to make a sandwich "We have been watching you, we don't approve" says a mechcanical voice. The man whirls around startled "What the hell is going on?" "Stop what you are doing or you will be punished" said the Birthday card. Stan is getting somewhat nervous yet is able to reasonably maintain his cool "Okay" he says to the birthday card, "What do you want me to do?" "Leave the girl," says the card, "Leave the girl forever."

Stan laughs "Ahh Come on, give me a break I ain't doing that," takes a bite out of his sandwich "get the hell out of here." There is silence for a minute. A beeping noise is heard in the distance. From another room a machine/robot enters the room. It looks like R2/D2 with red eyes. Stan laughs even harder at the robot "Oh my gawd!!! What the hell is this!?!? Man this is hilarious!!" The robot comes closer to Stan, Stan can't believe what is happening here, he's really enjoying this "Okay, now what are you gonna do now little man" Stan says with a comic tone. The robot extends it's arms and with it's mechinical hands grabs Stan's testicles.

Stan spits the food out of it's mouth, "Oh my fucking GAWD!!! Oh GAWD!!" he screams. His old flame remains motionless on the floor, deep in sleep. She doesn't make a sound, she doesn't even stir. "What the hell is going on?!?!" he says through clenched teeth. "The girl or your balls, you have to choose Mr. Douglas" says the robot. "But why!!!" he protest, "I don't understand!!!" The robot squeezes harder, it feels like Stan's balls are about to explode. "We have been watching you Mr. Douglas, and we have deemed you unclean" says the robot. "Awww come on man, it's not my fault, I couldn't help it, I COULDN"T!!!" says Stan.

"Unacceptable answer Mr. Douglas, say goodbye to your balls" says the robot. The pain becomes unbearable, Stan gives in "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!!!! I'll leave, just let me leave with my nuts PLEASE!!" Stan says. "Acceptable answer Mr. Douglas" says the robot. The machine releases Stan's testicles. Relief washes over his face, he gather his clothes and quickly leaves the house.

There is laughter in the room, two boys come out from the closet, one younger the other somewhat older and a little taller and skinnier. They admire the pictures they have taken, of Stan and their cousin, they laugh and run to their room to their computer.