Narcissism

Narcissism. It's named after a god. Isn't that just about perfect? Can you imagine a better way to describe a god? In-fucking-fallible. Perhaps this is what it means to be narcissistic. To be godlike. To never make a mistake.

Never a mistake made. I look around me and I see everything in the worst possible light. I see all of the goddamn filth in the pit in front of where I write these words. I see the cars driving by. Every demi-god locked away inside their own world hurdling toward wherever. All of us. Too rich. Too poor. Too greedy. Too hungry. Too fat. Fucking. Stealing. Hurting. Loving. Dying. Killing. and none of it is a mistake. We must bow down to you and thank you for everything that you have done.

Can this truly be on purpose? Can you honestly have done this with intent? How can you ask me to praise you? How can you not bow down to ME and ask ME for forgiveness? Would I even give it to you? Could I?

Then I reflect again on the word. Narcissism. I look around again and I see everything in the best possible light. The perfection of it all. You did not make a mistake. Everything is exactly how you want it to be. I understand this is truly what you meant to do.

Writing this down on paper. I am become the narcissist. I am God. Forgive me.