The Ice Cream Epiphany

The Ice Cream Epiphany

    Malcolm had a cozy three bedroom house in the hills overlooking Lake Austin.  Money was tight these days and he had recently taken on roommates to help pay the rent.  He and the other guys in the house got along well and the first few weeks passed without incident. 

    Malcolm wasn’t a neat freak by any stretch of the imagination, but his roommate Dave never seemed to pick up after himself and it had begun to bother him.  He decided he would try and set the example.  He worked very hard to ensure that the kitchen was always tidied up after dinner and that the dishes were washed, dried and put away.  He vacuumed the rug and even ventured to clean the single bathroom that they all shared (this was no small feat, as anyone who has lived with a group of bachelors can tell you.)  Malcolm was sure that his perseverance would pay off and that the other guys would get the hint that he needed some help keeping the place clean, but after a couple weeks of steady resolve to take the high road, it became apparent that  they were content to let him do all the dirty work. 

    One day after coming home from a particularly brutal day at work Malcolm entered the house to find it a mess.  Dishes were piled high in the sink and the coffee table magazines were spread out all over the living room floor.  He had finally had enough.  Just then Dave came walking in and plopped down onto the sofa while simultaneously throwing and open bag of Cheetos onto the end table.  With nacho cheese fingers, he groped for the remote which had apparently fallen between the couch cushions.  Enough was enough.  “How can you live like such a pig?” he exploded.  “If we are all going to continue to live together I’m going to need some help keeping this place clean.”  He made straight for his room without waiting for a response and slammed the door. 

    The next week went by with some uneasy tension filling the air.  Blowing up and yelling at someone was not Malcolm’s usual style but Dave did seem to be making an effort to clean up after himself.  Dave didn’t say anything about the encounter but Malcolm was sure he had told their other roommate Josh about his minor freak out. 

    One afternoon as he walked into the kitchen he noticed that a gallon of chocolate ice cream had been left out on the counter.  With a sigh, Malcolm put it back in the freezer.  He pulled his leftover sandwich from the fridge and went back to his room to watch the rest of Judge Judy.  When he returned to the kitchen to wash his plate, the ice cream was again sitting on the counter.  He looked through the archway to the living room and didn’t see anybody in there.  He once again put the ice cream back in the freezer and returned to his television program.  About a half an hour later he returned to the kitchen to get a soda from the fridge and once again the ice cream was sitting out on the counter.  Now Malcolm was sure that it was Dave messing with him.  It was just like Dave to make a passive-aggressive statement like this.  Malcolm once again put the ice cream back in the freezer and returned to his room. 

    Malcolm sat in his room, sure that it was Dave leaving the ice cream out on the counter.  And what was really irritating Malcolm was that Dave was doing it just to get under his skin.  After a few minutes he went back to the kitchen to see if he could catch Dave in the act.  He didn’t see any sign of Dave but sure enough the ice cream was back on the counter top.  Just then Malcolm’s other roommate Josh walked in.  “I think Dave really took your discussion the other day to heart,” he said.  “I’m not so sure,” Malcolm replied.  “No I really think you got to him,” Josh said.  “I’ve been trying to get this ice cream to thaw on the counter for the last hour and a half, and he keeps putting it back in the freezer before it has time to soften up.”