It is my Baby!

The stillness of the night was broken by the shrilling of the alarm clock on the nightstand beside the bed. Kaitlin groaned and rolled over in bed, her hand reaching blindly for the alarm clock. Bumping her hand against it, she knocked it to the floor. Mumbling under her breath, she forced her eyes open so she could look on the floor for the shrilling alarm clock before it woke everyone up. Grabbing the alarm clock, she quickly shut off the alarm and dropped it back on the floor. Kaitlin rolled onto her back and moaned as she tried to remember why she set her alarm to go off so early and where exactly she was.

Looking around her, Kaitlin remembered that she was in a hotel 300 miles from home. Home….not in Boston any longer and not sure where she would call home in the near future but it was going to be miles from Boston that much she was sure of. Putting her hand on her stomach, Kaitlin rubbed her hand on the baby, her mind drifting back in time; time before she became pregnant, time when Randy was alive, time before they had a big fight, time before she was paid a visit by Randy’s father. So much had happened in the past four months. It still seemed unreal that these events could turn her world upside down and make her run away.

As if the baby could read her thoughts, he gave a little kick. Laughing softly Kaitlin whispered, “I love you baby. You are a part of me and Randy and no one is going to take you away from me.” Sighing she knew now was not the time to be going back in time so she forced herself to get up and take a shower before she had to pack and go to the bus station.

Adjusting the water, she dropped her nightgown on the floor and got under the warm water. After a quick shower Kaitlin went back to the side of the bed and picked up the clock to see what time it was. Seeing that it was almost seven o’clock she quickly slipped on a pair of comfortable jeans and a baggy t-shirt. Slipping her feet into her sandals, she gathered the few things she had taken out of the suitcase and repacked.

After giving the room another quick look to make sure she had not forgotten anything, she slung her purse over her shoulder, picked up her two suitcases and headed for the door. Opening the door, she put the suitcases in the hall, took one last quick look, and shut the door behind her. Breathing deeply, she made her way to the front door of the hotel and called a cab.

Arriving at the bus station fifteen minutes later, she sat down on one of the benches and studied the departure board, trying to decide where she wanted to go. Finally she chose which direction she wanted to go but still unsure where her journey would end. Carrying her two suitcases she made her way over to the ticket counter to purchase a ticket headed west. Kaitlin had been thinking of heading south but a bus south did not leave for another hour….an hour she could not afford to waste sitting in a bus station.

When they announced Kaitlin’s bus five minutes later she was already at the door ready to board. Trying not to appear nervous and draw the attention of the security guard she nonchalantly looked around the station, as if she was looking for someone.

“Mam, we are ready to board so you can put those bags over there by the open door,” the driver said, breaking into her thoughts.

Giving him a weak smile, she did as he asked and then handed him her ticket. After the driver checked to make sure she was getting on the right bus, he handed the ticket back to Kaitlin and helped her up the first step. At the top of the steps, Kaitlin took a moment to look for a seat and at the same time checking the passengers. Making it to the middle of the bus, she scooted into a seat and looked out the window to make sure that her bags got on the bus with her. Not seeing her suitcases where she had left them, she could hope that was a good sign.

Getting comfortable, Kaitlin watched to see if there were going to be any more passengers boarding. When the driver got on the bus and shut the door, Kaitlin knew that it was only going to be her, an elderly couple, and a young man. Putting her purse beside her against the bus wall, she leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes, letting the memories engulf her.