forever young. chapter 1 know me

What does it mean, to be a teenager, our elders say its the best time of our lives, we have easy lives, thats bullshit. being a teenager is nothing but constant pain, stress, failed relationships and constant feeling of inadequacy. teenage life... is pain.

I'm a 15 year old student at a government secondary school, and when i'm not being mentally scarred by various relationships that have come back to bite me in the arse, i'm doing coursework and relaxing and socializing with my friends. im studying for a business 4 GCSE award, which i enjoy because i sit with a good friend whom i'v always wanted to be with. her name is Amy and she's a beautiful, funny and quite frankly odd Australian girl who joined our school about 6 or 7 months ago from a place called Perth. she describes the place as vibrant and colorful and constantly sunny, the exact opposite of what she has now in not so sunny "Yorkshire" (the north of england). me and her used to sit together all the time sharing secrets and talking about problems we had with friends and stuff, we hung out quite a bit after school and on weekends which was always fun because her regular civilian clothes make her look even more beautiful. after a while of hanging out and getting to know her, i felt like it was time to ask her out, which i hoped she had said yes to... but, as life likes to, a large obstacle in the form of a guy was put in the way. she had got a boyfriend. this was a large blow to my ego, i was personally a tad pissed off, naturally. because, this wasn't one of those i got beat to the gig kind of things. this was one of those guys who don't try hard to get to know the girl and instead, just asked her out. burned. but in a way im glad, besides the fact that she hates him so much now that she's permanently put off boys, she's still one of my closest friends and we regularly share things with each other, for instance: whenever i go to a concert, i will always bring her something back like a wristband or the ticket, something to show that i think of her often. now as we are getting deep into our 10th year in school, she has long red hair after dying from a hazelnut brown color and i have had my hair cut to a more suitable short back with longer fringe. to top off the indie/emo look that i was renowned for.

I have recently fallen out with some of my out of school friends from a different school in the same town, we fell out over a girl (i know, original right). to be blunt, there is a girl that i liked. Sarah. black hair over her left eye, with a red streak going from the root to tip of the fringe. beautiful. naturally i introduced her to my friends, who then took it upon themselves to ruin this relationship for me, by monopolizing her, i never saw her, never spoke to her, i didn't get to get her a birthday present because she thought she hated me and things like that. after nearly telling her to get out of my life and forgetting about, she apologized for what my "friends" had done. i had to forgive her. i didn't want them to get their own way and split me and her up.
the worst guy involved is Liam: a dirty long greasy haired pothead who is a creepy stalker. he was her stalker now. he never left her alone, if she didn't reply to his texts, he would call her. she said she didn't want to go out with him because she knew that he would be a stupid drug addict all his life. and that was that. but. Liam being the stalker he is didn't take her seriously on the news she delivered him, he said to her that he will have her some day. fucking creep.
i spoke to her recently. she still loves me but she seems to think she is in a strange predicament, due to the fact that everyone has asked her out, she only likes me. so whats the problem. sometimes she can really put me down. her words can be like a poison dagger right in my back. like a huge feeling of betrayal. but that isn't often, she's the sweetest girl i know really. well not as sweet as Amy. no one's as sweet as her.

School always goes good though, she's not in the same year as me, although she is only two months younger than me, so i don't see her too often which in a way is good, because it always hurts me a little to see her, i love all my friends; old and new. they are my salvation. when im sad, they make me happy, when i need someone to talk to, i sure as hell know that someone's got time for me. no matter how trivial the problem is. one of the people i confide in most is a beautiful "Indie chick" called Robyn. she's a beauty: smaller than me (which is always good), she has awesome wavy bright blond hair that makes her look even more spectacular, she has rosy red cheeks with cute pale skin that gives off a bright glow that pale skin doesn't usually do, it adds to her constantly happy look. she makes me happy. but i barley know her. she's a new friend. but i think i really like her. i fall in love too easily. its a bad trait. but i don't think this is love. i just like her in a physical and slightly emotional way.

Oh shit. its nearly Valentines. and for once, im gonna be alone. that'll be fun, valentines party, everyone's got someone but me, im the odd number. i could just get a rebound from Sarah, thats what im good at. but it may kill my chances entirely. she thinks she has a hard decision. she doesn't know the half of it. my biggest problem is how i'm going to go about stopping being stubborn and make up with my "friends" and go for a different girl. i think im fickle enough to manage that.