cause essay

As a consequence of a leadership review board, while I was stationed on the USS

Benfold I have come to discern differently. I have come to realize that while many people

have their opinions only a few of those opinions will be sound.

Opinions that people have are only as accurate as the source it comes from.

Information without context is just useless data. A lot of people choose to live in ignorant

bliss as well as believing that their opinions are well-grounded and accurate.

Experience allows a person to formulate better choices when ambiguity occurs.

We live in a diverse society. With Globalization and bad information we form false

truths.

What should be elementary; like going to church on Sunday, I see it as

convoluted. A church is more than a gathering of like minded individuals. A church is

also more than just a building. Finally a church is so much more than a segregated

institution. The Lord is universal and is becoming my rock. Little false truths slowly adds

up.

My bible: “if the Word is, “Gods message to all”; true shall be my guiding

doctrine from which I am allowed to formulate accurate principles. Psalm 27 added with

13 is a philosophy I heard from a song. Paraphrasing it says to live your life the best that

you can and let others live their life. In the end with trust and faith it will always workout.

I know my thinking to some may be rather childish. But through the eyes of a

child is exactly how I see the world now. I used to have thinking elaborated by every
additional subject in which I mastered. Perhaps reality is not absolute truth but rather a

false truth in itself. When all thinking is done and we are lying peacefully what is reality

then? Isaac Newton and Leibniz gave the gift of calculus to man. But in reality while,

Isaac and Leibniz simply discovered a sound method of solving complicated problems.

What if reality as we know it is completely flawed? What if during our lifetime

we are tested and true reality only occurs upon death, only then are we given the answer

to every mystery. Not that much different than the Matrix series really.

When faith is tested, we shall either succeed or fail. But in reference to what is the

important thing to ask. Why should the preachers political inclination override the Lords

philosophy? I started to practice what I preached after a racist bastard placed me in the

bildge of the ship. A bildge is a dirty filthy place in which no one wants to be placed in.

This racist bastard placed me in the bildge every time he saw me studying either; my

math or reading my bible. Much like placing a dirty mag away in public he placed me

away when his bosses was around. That was just my second ship and it formed my

mindset while young in the navy. I advanced through the ranks with effort, hard work/

discipline. It was not until I encountered a racist Chief I came to under stand how

subjective reality can be.

I read a fancy book that said never let others define who you are. Always walk

with your head held high and your spine straight if you have done your best. “Question

all things”, is from the bible. It may not be explicit but it is there. Constantly reading the

bible on the ship was always allowed when I joined. After being in for 19 years I knew

what I could do or not do. He told me I could not read the bible on watch, I told him the

Chief Engineer if he wanted to could always come down and snatch it out of my hands,

rip it apart and literally destroy the book but I would always choose to read the Lords

word either on or off watch. I was quickly learning to utilize rhetoric. Well I quickly

became their most hated first class. The more I questioned authority the worse my life

became. Not being afraid of hard work they gave up trying to make me miserable. I was

placed in the bildges and terrorized by racist petty officers when I was young to the navy.

What they hated was that I had earned a leadership position and was starting to mentor

other troubled soles, such as I was so many years prior.

A choice between ignorant bliss or living within chaos confronts us all daily. And

perhaps this reality that we say is life is not accurate. With so many other worlds out

there whom can say that we are alone in this vast universe. Life in different dimensions

may also be discovered much as how Calculus was discovered. Neo Chose to live and

tame the chaos of the matrix.

Why cry over spilled milk? That was my attitude on the USS Benfold DDG 65.

The Benfold was not as Powerful as the USS Shiloh CG 67. That ship, the USS Shiloh

had a great chaps(Chaplin),whose name I have forgotten but not his message.The Captain

took the ship out for no reason at all, except to make Admiral. “ Why is it so hard for

minorities and why is it that only the favorite kids get selected chaps?” If you do right

what does it mater? Your Ego wants to be advanced and a lot more stuff he told

me. Like-wise he never got advanced to a higher position because the Captain

neither liked him nor gave a good fitness report for him. This lesson has stayed with me.

It doesn’t matter if you do your best. Back then I could not fathom why a Chaplain had to

be evaluated. It was and still is all political.




Idiomatically I have figured out what makes me whole. The story in which I write

Shall be an original story. When Life gives you problems solve them. The things that I

can change for the better I will.

Perhaps the darkest lesson comes full circle. Back to the Benfold and that racist

Chief. He was having a bad day and so was I. A different Captain was trying to make his

mark and advance to Admiral. Keep the Ship at sea and volunteer for every mission the

fleet Admirals give out. Look good and above all things manage the image was the

formula needed to make Admiral. The same formula is easily manipulated and true

to make Chief or advance in any Career. Manage the Image, look good in front of the

boss and hide your faults. Well every one knew my faults and mishaps. I realized I was

never going to be a Navy Chief and was getting tired of being bossed about by two faced

idiots. This Chief told me to stand the midwatch, which is a duty in which is taken from

midnight until six oclock. Not being my duty, in that I did not have to work on that day I

told him I was not about to do that. He said that I would because he was a Chief and was

giving a order. I told him it may be technically lawful it wasn’t legit. Only a fool would

choose to take another persons duty, specifically since I did not have to work that day. I

had to justify my actions in front a kangroo court. Luckly the facts stood on their own and

the case was dropped. That racist Chief lost face for abuse of power, but, in the end they

made a point of driving home that while in the military there is a right way to do things.

A correct methodology and a wrong methodology exist, and they said we must learn it.

Those in charge a right and always justified, not to be questioned in front of juniors.




In my simplistic mindset, almost childish point of view, I choose to be like water.

Flow with it, much like water coming to any obstruction it either will flow around or stop

and given enough time flow over the obstruction. Actions can be right and not justified

Crimison tide both the Executive Officer as well as the Captain was right and wrong

simultaneously. What if China had nuked the United States of America prior to getting

the rest of the message. The movie would have taken a different direction and we would

also have a different mindset from that twist. Common sense says that only a fool picks

on a thousand pound gorilla. But the states is a passive gorilla and we are broke now. I

hope for peace but we must always be ready for war. China is building aircraft carriers

and stealth fighters. The world is getting more complicated and it is getting flatter.

In the end I hope that those in charge will stop cutting the legs out from under the little

person. Perhaps there are no paved streets of gold waiting for us when we die. In the end

though when the eulogy is given what will it say? I have no idea and never will know. In

the end it is totally vanity. It does not matter for I just live the best way I can in good

times or bad. First through faith, secondly by faith, and finally through the eyes and mind

set of a small child.