The Master of the Masks

He was bored, the clown.
There was a strange feeling in his heart.
Another human side of him was emerging from within the shadows, a side of him that the world had never seen, and had never known existed.

The clown was sad.

Not for the first time in his life though.
He was a human after all, and it was only natural that he too sometimes feel what other human beings called a ‘natural phenomenon’.

No one is averse to the dark feeling of sorrow that blinds us sometimes, and takes us to the bottom of the darkest pit in the world.

So why couldn’t he ever feel the same way? He was only a human after all.

He was sad, heartbroken and lonely.

But he was always careful not to bring that side of him in public. He wore his mask well. He made the other people blind.

He would put up his ‘go-happy’ red painted mask, laugh around, crack jokes, act like a lunatic, and make a fool out of himself in public. He had a natural ability to make people laugh, and even without his mask, he would sometimes help a sad chum forget his sorrows, and put up a smile on his face. He loved helping people. He loved making them smile.

He was the crowd’s favorite. Small kids would wait eagerly for his act. And as soon as the clown entered the arena, the crowd would hoot, clap and welcome him eagerly. Grown ups too loved him. He made their children smile. He brought a welcome break from their otherwise mundane life, and help them forget their worries for some time, and bring a smile on their sad faces. He lit up the worlds of both the young and old alike.
He was their messiah. Everybody loved him.

So couldn’t he love too?

Love was also only a ‘natural phenomenon’, a feeling as natural as sorrow. Every living being on this earth loved somebody or something. The honeybee loves the nectar of the flowers, the birds love the sky, and the monkey loves the trees. Mothers love their babies; youngsters who have recently discovered this beautiful feeling love each other like crazy.

So couldn’t the clown love too?

He loved that girl more than anyone in this world. He would hide behind the curtain, and wait eagerly till she stepped into the arena, in her beautiful shiny short dress. Then she would defy gravity with her mid air antics. She would hold the audience in awe for almost half an hour. There would be a pin drop silence when she performed. The crowd would wear a worried and scared look on their faces, while she was thrown by one of the artist, mid air, and she would curl up her beautiful body into a ball, and fly through the air, and catch the hands of the next artist. It was flawless. She made it look like a piece of cake.

And when the knife thrower’s sharp and dangerous knives missed her smooth skin by inches, the crowd would gasp and hold their breath.

But the clown knew nothing could ever go wrong with her. She was God’s favorite child. He loved her. He would smile the whole time she was on stage.

He would congratulate her every time she came back from the stage. She would return his compliment with her beautiful smile. That would make his day. That was the most beautiful part of the day for him. That smile was what kept him going; and helped him put up another hundred smiles on the faces of the audience by his funny antics.

Then one day he told her how much he loved her.

She laughed at him. Like it was another of his funny stage antics.

With great difficulty he made her understand that he was serious. He had loved her ever since she had joined the circus two years ago, ever since she had put up that smart shiny dress, and defied gravity with her antics.

She laughed again. She, falling for a clown, barely three and a half feet tall? She told him that was not possible even in his dreams. She was the princess, beautiful, smart and popular. And he was only a clown, a dwarf, hardly three and a half feet tall, whose only talent was making a fool out of himself in front of the crowd. He could never be his knight in shining armor.

He was stunned. He was heart broken.
He had never felt like that before. It was entirely a new feeling for him.

He left the circus, came to the city, and ended up as a waiter in a small and dirty hotel in the middle of the market.

He tried to leave his past behind him.
He tried his best to put up a brave face, and face the world. It was time for a new mask.

But God had other plans for him. The daily wage laborers who came to the hotel for their afternoon lunch recognized him immediately.

“Hey, its tingu , the clown.”
“Hey natu, make us laugh.”

So he made them laugh. He put up his old mask again, and disappeared behind it, trying to hide back his tears. He would try his best to let go of that sad face, and bring back that spark on his face again.

He would entertain the tired laborers till his master would shout at him, and send him back to clean the dishes, or deliver tea at a near by stall.

His world had fallen apart.
But he would put up his mask every single day, and try to smile and make people smile.
Sometimes when he was alone, he would cry.

But very soon he would scold himself for acting like a new born, and wear the other mask, and go face the world.

He has collected many masks now. One for when he is angry, one for when he is hungry, one for when his master scolds him, one when he goes home, alone tired, and cold.

But he still loved the clown mask the most. He knew he had to get back to the circus. That was where he belonged. That was what he was born to do, that was what God wanted him to do, spread smiles all around. It was his duty. He has to put up a new mask, let go of his past, his sorrow and feelings. Its time to go back to the work of God.

He was here for a greater purpose, and he could not allow his personal problems to come in the way of the greater work of God.

He missed the applause of the crowd, he missed being on stage, he missed the bright lights of the circus, he missed his funny and ill shaped clothes. He missed the circus animals, the lion tamer, the knife thrower, the dare devil who rode his bike inside the well-of-death. But most of all he missed his love. He missed her beautiful bright dress, her smile, and her gravity defying stunts.

He knew it surely would bring back some old memories, and that could be painful.

But wasn’t he the master of disguises, the master in wearing masks, and hiding his feelings from the world? He has done that in the past, and would do it again.

It had been a long time since he had smiled when he was alone.
But it was time to wear that smile, and go face the world.

The lights are blinding, the roar of the audience is deafening. His heart beat was the fastest he had ever experienced. The smile on his face the biggest he had ever put.

He stepped into the arena, and within another second, he had successfully put up his old mask, and disappeared into the crowd.