Assignment Two

Hey!

I am reviewing this as a student of the Rockin Review Academy. Remember I am not a perfect writer, but I hope you find some helpful advice in this review.

Plot: The plot of this story is very unique. I enjoyed how the reader gets a feel of what the character is going through. The plot flows pretty well throughout the piece. The idea of an angel as a student is something that I haven't ran across before. The concept that a ceremony like the one your character is experiencing and the nerves that come with it is something that readers can connect to. Even though we are not demigods, the reader can sympathize with the emotions of being nervous for a certain event.

Grammar:There are a few grammar pieces that would might want to look over. When you have a conjunction, you can connect the two sentence together with a comma instead of breaking them up. That will help the reader understand what you are trying to say in your piece. You also always want to write the whole word out. Writing "you" instead of "u" will help your piece feel moral like formal writing, which is good when you're trying to impress someone with your piece. A few more simple grammar points need to be addressed. Names and titles are capitalizes, such as Lady Noella. Also, punctuation goes inside of the quote whether it be a comma or period. If you go back and clean up the grammar a bit, this could be a really good piece.

Things I Liked: I liked the point of view that you used. if you would have used another point of view I don't think that audience would have gotten the same feel for the character. I also like that you contribute very human emotions, such as nervousness, to angel--who are usually regarded as higher beings.

Suggestions:My suggestion for this piece would be to go back and look at the grammar. The plot of the piece is very interesting and keeps the reader wanting more. By reworking the grammar, you will make the piece a strong creative work of fiction.

Overall: Overall I liked the concept you portrayed in your writing. The story was creative and gave a new perspective on how angels are taught/created. The ending kept me wanting to know what was in the envelope.

Always keep writing and exploring your creative nature!

-Aerona
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