It's My Baby

The stillness of the night was broken by the shrilling of the alarm clock on the nightstand beside the bed. Kaitlin groaned and rolled over in bed, her hand reaching blindly for the alarm clock.  Bumping her hand against it, she knocked it to the floor.  Mumbling under her breath, she forced her eyes open so she could look on the floor for the shrilling alarm clock before it woke everyone up in the hallway.  Grabbing the alarm clock, she quickly shut off the alarm and dropped it back on the floor.  Kaitlin rolled onto her back and moaned as she tried to remember why she set her alarm to go off so early and where exactly she was.

Looking around her, Kaitlin remembered that she was in a hotel 300 miles from home.  Home….but definitely not Boston any longer.  She was still not sure where she would call home in the near future but it was going to be miles from Boston that much she was sure of.  Putting her hand on her stomach and rubbing gently, her mind started to drift back in time; time before she became pregnant, time when Randy was alive, time before they had a big fight, time before she was paid a visit by Randy’s father. So much had happened in the past four months.  It still seemed so surreal that these events could turn her world upside down and make her run away from her friends, her job, and the only place she called home for the past five years.

As if the baby could read her thoughts, the baby gave a little kick.  Laughing softly Kaitlin whispered, “I love you baby. You are a part of me and Randy and no one is going to take you away from me.” 

Sighing she knew now was not the time to be reminiscing  so she forced herself to get up and take a shower before she had to pack and get to the bus station.

Adjusting the water, she dropped her nightgown on the floor and got under the warm spray.  After a quick shower Kaitlin went back to the side of the bed, drying herself off.  She picked up the clock from the floor to see what time it was, moaning as the baby protested her bending over.    Seeing that it was almost seven o’clock she quickly slipped on a pair of comfortable jeans and a baggy t-shirt.  After slipping her swollen feet into her sandals, she gathered the few things she had taken out of the suitcase and repacked, throwing the clock in on top of the pile of clothes.

After giving the room another quick look to make sure she had not forgotten anything, she slung her shoulderbag over her shoulder, picked up her two suitcases and headed for the door.  Sitting the suitcases down, she opened the door and pushed them into the hallway, then made a quick sweep around the room. Taking a deep breath, she picked up her suitcases and made her way to the front door of the hotel to call a cab.

Arriving at the bus station fifteen minutes later, she sat down on one of the benches and studied the departure board, trying to decide where she wanted to go.  Finally after much deliberation, she chose which direction she wanted to go but was still unsure where her journey would end.  Carrying her two suitcases, she made her way over to the ticket counter to purchase a ticket headed west.  Kaitlin had been thinking of heading south for some fun in in the sun but a bus heading south did not leave for another hour….an hour she didn't feel she could afford to waste sitting in a bus station, especially this close to Boston. Kaitlin knew she needed to put as much miles between her and Boston as possible.  Maybe later on down the road, she might change directions, but for now she was going west.

When they announced Kaitlin’s bus five minutes later she was already at the door ready to board.  Trying not to appear nervous and draw the attention of the security guard who might remember her if someone flashed enough money, she nonchalantly looked around the station, as if she was looking for someone.

“Mam, we are ready to board,” the driver said, breaking into her thoughts.  “Leave your bags and I will make sure that they get into the baggage compartment.”

Giving him a weak smile she handed him her ticket and said, “Thank you.  I appreciate it.”  After the driver checked to make sure she was getting on the right bus, he handed the ticket back to Kaitlin and helped her up the first step.  At the top of the steps, Kaitlin took a moment to look for a seat and checking the other passengers at the same time.  Making it to the middle of the bus, she scooted into a seat and looked out the window to make sure that her bags got on the bus with her.  Not seeing her suitcases she could only hope that was a good sign and that they were already in the baggage compartment of the bus.

Getting comfortable, Kaitlin watched to see if there were going to be any other passengers boarding.  When the driver got on the bus and shut the door, Kaitlin knew that it was only going to be her, an elderly couple, and a young man on the bus for now.  Putting her shloulderbag beside her against the bus window, she leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes, letting the memories engulf her.