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Rated: E · Other · Philosophy · #1757479
A ridiculous existential dialogue between doing and being.
The Do-Be Tune

DOING: I’ve had it with you!  Your life is so lacking!  You don’t do anything!

BEING:  Well, I’ve had it with you too!  You’re so empty!  I don’t even know who you are!

DOING: This whole thing is definitely not working anymore.  I think we should part ways entirely.

BEING:  I am in utter agreement.

DOING:  Then it’s agreed.  I must warn you though; I don’t think you’ll get far without me. 

BEING:  Why not?

DOING:  You can’t be anything without me.

BEING: Of course I can!  All I am is being!

DOING:  Well, if that is all you are, they this should be an easy question:  what are you?

BEING:  That’s a silly question.  I am!  I just am!

DOING:  You say you are, well then you must be something. “What are you?” 

BEING:  I can’t think of a response.  I don’t need a response.  It’s a stupid question.  I just am!

DOING:  See, but I can answer such a question.  I DO!

BEING:  Well I don’t see how this answers the question at all.

DOING:  While your answer, “I am what I am,” says nothing, I have a response.  I say, “I am what I do!”

BEING: But that doesn’t help at all!

DOING:  Why not?

BEING:  Who would we say has done it then? 

DOING:  Well that’s just a silly question!  It’s done by the one who does it!

BEING:  And what are any of the things you do FOR?

DOING:  Things are done to be done of course!

BEING:  Ha!  “Things are to be done by those who do them for the sake of being done?”  That’s even worse than my “I am what I am.”

DOING:  Hmm . . . you may have gotten me there.  But the whole joke’s on you, because you can’t say why you’re doing any of this arguing anyway!  Shouldn’t you be sitting off in your little world of being, just listening to all of this, not doing anything?

BEING:  But this IS what I am!

DOING:  No, that can’t be right!  This is what I DO.

BEING:  Wait a minute. “This.”  What is “this?” 

DOING: Wow, that’s quite a strange question.

BEING:  Quite strange indeed.  I don’t see how either of us is going to end up with an answer.

DOING:  You don’t?

BEING:  No, I don’t see how we could even try.

DOING: But then if we can’t try that, what are we to do together?

BEING: I have no idea.  Even more than that, who are we to be together?

DOING:  Gosh, I’m not sure.

BEING:  Oh, this is just horrible!

DONG:  Wait, I think I’ve got it.

BEING:  Really?

DOING: Perhaps all we can make is a melody. 

BEING:  Of what?

DOING:  Of this. 

BEING:  Of this . . . somehow that makes some absurd sense.

DOING:  Yes, perhaps that’s all we really needed to do.

BEING:  I see . . . and perhaps that’s all we’ve ever wanted to be.

DOING: do.

BEING: be.

DOING: do.

BEING: be.

DOING: do.

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