My fear and rage

It feels like the yelling will never stop
As the monster goes on another rampage
He'd hit me if I let him
He'd slap her if he wasn't a coward
Through the childhood door I can hear him screaming
My tears won't stop and neither will my rage
In my right hand I hold a knife
My left is quivering with fear
My body won't stop shaking
I look at the ceiling right where he will be sitting
I want to hurt him so badly
No forgiveness will ever come
If he were gone life would finally be peaceful
At school I hide it
I'm just the odd kid out
They don't see that I spend hours silently screaming at him
They don't realize just how many tears have to be dried
I wonder if anyone knows how much rage I have inside
Never have I lost hope though
Never have I thought it was not worth it
When I have finally escaped the monster
I will be happy
And if I were to see him on the street begging for money
I would probably steal his outstretched cup.