Daily Flash Fiction Entry 04-01-2011

“So, like dude, I come in here last night and as soon as I clear the door I see this major hottie, right. You know, the new girl with the real nice
body, great face and hair… oh dude, how I love long hair. And, this girl’s hair was like--”

“Hey Bennie, dude… get to the point already. Sheesh, I’m dying here.” I had no idea who she was; I worked the 3-11 shift.

“Chill broski, you asked how I got jacked?” he said pointing to his swollen face.

I nodded and tried to ‘chill’. I love Bennie but he can be so frickin’ annoying. I swear he’s a Pauly Shore clone. All I wanted to know was how he got his shiner.

“So, I work my way up to her, you know, to put the moves on her—“

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re the master, step it up, I gotta get to work.”

“Anyway I notice she’s reading a book on French, so I check her out some more, sly like. Hey, she looked like she could be that Avril Lavigne chick, you know the grunge punk babe from Cana—“

“Dude! I gotta go now. You can finish telling me later.” I said as I fished out some loose change for a tip.

“No. Wait. Don’t leave me hanging. You know me--”

“So out with it, please.”

“I tried to impress her speaking French, and—“

I waved a quick finger and said, “No. No French lessons. Finish it.”

“Anyway, I started macking on her calling her Avril, really working it. I thought she was impressed ‘cause she came close and then she jacked my eye. She pointed at her name tag and screamed with a bad lisp, my name’s not Avril, it’s April fool!”

(300 words - and intentionally annoying)