To my stalker, with love

Dearest Stalker,
Thank you so much for your letter!
Although I believe you slightly perturbed my family with your fawning, and intimate detail of our house, I was very flattered by your attention to my "beautiful, shimmering and glowing hair", as  you put it, and I was very touched at the concern you conveyed through your summary of my daily routine.
In answer to your questions:
1) You are right, I do tend to prefer my youngest daughter. It's terrible, it's unmaternal, but there's something adorable about her which is lacking in my eldest. Once we went past a Grecian island in a ferry and the tour guide informed us that it was owned by Liza Minelli, whereupon my youngest asked whether the nearby canoeist (male, bearded and approximately 80) was indeed Liza. I nearly fell of the ferry.
2) When I was 27. I was watching 'The Bad and The Beautiful' (it's this beautiful black and white film.), when he suddenly appeared with a massive glittering, bottle of champagne. He opened it, and I almost squealed as irridescent foam pealed into me with immense force for such delicate opalescent peaks. Then, as the tragic, haunted actress, and misunderstood, but emotional director kissed (an affair which lasted nearly 10 minutes!), he got down on one knee.
3) Do I love him? That's going to take some soul searching. Can I come back to you on that one?
4) I use l'oreal for normal hair.
5) The engagement ring was silver, with emeralds. The wedding ring was gold, with a rubied heart.
6) Many, many lipglosses, but my favourite (and the one that my daughter insists on borrowing the most) would be "tangy, matte lipbalm with a hint of colour" which I got from a make up boutique in Paris.
7) I can understand why you wouldn't know what my favourite animal was; it doesn't come up much in conversation, does it? The Indian elephant, I guess...it's beautiful and I love all elephants, but I feel slightly sorry for the Indian, because its ears are so much smaller than those of the African's.

So, thank you again for your letters. Your handwriting is amazingly neat: I wanted to reply likewise (and I do pride myself on meticulous, neat script), but my husband thought it could be too revealing. I wouldn't worry, stalker. You seem to know everything about me anyway. I'm sure you will reply - I have the many, many, pleading letters in uniform white envelopes for proof of that - and I will write back when I have the answer to question 4. I would love to make contact; I'd have nothing to hide from a man who knows all my secrets. However, my husband forbids me from doing so, on the grounds that 'it's dangerous'. I agree with your previous letter: he's insecure.

With all my love,
Marianna 'the stalked' Brett
xxooxx