Awardicon Envy

Damn, these contests are killing me.
I’ll admit I’m green with envy.
What I wouldn’t give for just a taste,
of a first, second or third place.

What do these others do to win?
Has it to do with whom you're in?
To me their writing is all dross.
Other reasons?  I’m at a loss.

Am I smacking of jealously?
Claiming they’re getting wins for free.
Just settle down and take it easy,
is what my mother says to me.

Edit, revise, is what I do.
I still write when I have the flu.
Cloister myself in coffee bars
to get my friend – Mr. Three Stars.

Let me tell you about one contest
That caused me quite a bit distress.
Four of us writers entered it.
They all placed but me, so it bit.

Perhaps I should have choosen wrath
for my deadly sins poem's path.
I could write a pissed off sonnet
about this damn bee in my bonnet.

And what are these things people write?
They are terrible and I have to gripe.
Their stories, poems and capers
would not serve as toliet paper.

And so I beg you, Culraven,
give me just a little haven.
If I get an award from you
Here is what I promise to do.

I will take the badge of merit,
Print it out and gladly wear it.
As a primary school age kid
wears a gold star on his forehead.

I will take the awardicon
for winning your sin marathon.
I will get my artist friend Ron
and have it tattooed on my shlong.