Humpty Dumpty... the Real Story

Hello, my name is Henry Percy Dumphry, or more commonly known as Humpty-Dumpty. Many young children know me from a nursery rhyme, and it’s a funny one at that. Only, I don’t find it too humorous when its facts aren’t straight. So that is why I am writing this letter right now. It’s so everyone knows who I am, what happened to me, and why no one knows that my REAL name was Henry Percy Dumphry.

A long time ago, lands weren’t split up. Instead everyone was divided by their class. There were the strange people, the normal people, the royals, and the misguided. The strange people were well… strange. They weren’t exactly understood by many, and often didn’t fit in with “society cultures” and so they weren’t included in much. The normal people were just plain old normal citizens. They fit in well, and did everything right and how it was intended to be done. The royals were royalty, and treated with the highest of high respect. They got everything they needed at the drop of a hat, and then some. Finally the misguided people were the people who were kicked out of a class, either because they broke customs, or just didn’t fit in anywhere. Now, I understand this may be a little confusing at first, but you’ll get used to it.

Being a little bit different from the rest of my family, meaning, I didn’t enjoy reading long literature books, and baking cakes, I was soon shipped off to the strange people class. Honestly, the strange people class isn’t as bad as one would expect. The only rule they have is to be yourself. It was in the strange people class where I met the love of my life. Leah Armilee Stanspercky. She used to be royalty, but she got tired of being pampered all the time, and after telling one of her maids that she wanted to make her bed that day, she was also sent right over to the strange people class. Was I upset about that? No way. I slowly made small talk with her every day, and sure enough by the time a week had passed we were best friends. I thought that she may have liked me a little bit too, and it was way too early to tell, so I was a little surprised when she told me yes, she would love to go out on a date with me.

We agreed to meet on the wall that had been the border between all the other classes. It was, oddly, a very romantic spot, and I was quite fond of it.  So, as I awaited my date, I decided to sit upon the wall. As I’m sitting there, I spot a familiar face. It’s the big-bad-wolf from Little Red Riding Hood’s story. He really is big and bad, but he also has a heart. The problem was his heart longed for Leah, and she belonged to me. So, the big-bad-wolf (B.B for short) comes up to me, says something about staying away from his girl, and then pushes me off the wall. I fall, and fall, and fall, since the wall was very high. It was entended to keep unwelcome visitors out. Then B.B runs off, and I’m left there, in pieces—since I am an egg. Soon enough Leah comes, and is horrified from the sights of me. (It was a rather embarrassing ordeal.) So I send her off to fetch some help. She comes back with the Kings servants who were also quite fond of her, and they tried as hard as they could, but just couldn’t piece me back together. On the other hand, the Kings servants saw that Leah still had a big heart for others, and so they offered her a ride to propose to the King that she re-enter the Royal class. I have not seen her since. Everyone believes that she loves me no more, so they started calling me Henry Dumpty, because I was “dumped.” Only some smart-alec came along and said it would sound better if the name rhymed. So the name Humpty-Dumpty surfaced.

Three days passed before I was ever found. Of course, since the only printing that is ever done is in the royal class, no one ever hears this part of the story. I was found by my poor old mother—God bless her soul—she panicked and screamed. After I had calmed her, I sent her too, to get me some help. The strange class people prepared a large mixing bowl, and scooped me up into it. Then I was placed on an oversized cart, and shipped off to the Royal class, the only class with an infirmary. There I am still sitting today. I was allowed paper and pencil to write out the true story, all of it. So, after this finally reaches the public I hope three things are realized. One, I did not fall, I was pushed. I am not a clumsy person, but really an alert and nice one. Two, class shouldn’t matter. Two people from originally different classes fell in love, so why shouldn’t you fall in love with a person with a disability? A person who doesn’t have an eye? A person who maybe has a lisp? It shouldn’t matter. And finally, after I fell—ahem—was pushed, from the wall, I survived… I survived a great fall. So that, my dear friends, is the true story of Humpty Dumpty. I strongly advise that you share this with your children, as we do not want to misguide our children, for misguided children end up in the misguided class, and that is nowhere for a child to be in a cold and empty world that we live in today.

Author’s Note:
My inspiration for this story was really just taking into account of “what happened to Humpty-Dumpty?” The original nursery rhyme doesn’t tell us what happens, and I think that a lot of younger kids would want to know. When reading the original Humpty-Dumpty I have a feeling of wanting more. Maybe Mother Goose wanted us to fill in the blanks, wanted us to write the ending to Humpty-Dumpty’s story. Or maybe she just didn’t know herself. Well, I have provided you with one scenario, and I challenge you to create your own. Thanks for reading; your support is greatly appreciated.

The Original;
  Humpty-Dumpty
Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men,
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.