Feline Observations

I came out of the house and jumped off the porch and looked in the yard in front of me. There were at least 10 children in the front yard today, something unusual. I focused my attention on a young, thin boy about 8 years old. He had reddish-orange hair, and green eyes. I watched as he walked across the driveway to a car. He opened the door to retrieve something. He comes running back across the yard to the blow up swimming pool with a pair of men's slip-on shoes.

"Goddamn you, Kristopher!!! Those are my shoes, what are you doing?!", the woman screeched angrily.

Kris just stood next to the pool, holding the fat woman's shoes over it, smiling at her. The obnoxious fat woman stomps her large hairy feet as she made a feeble attempt of trying to persuade Kris not to put her shoes in the water.

"Kris if you give me back my shoes," the woman continued, "I'll buy you your own personal jackass. That way you won't have to pay admission to ride one at the Blue Hill Fair!! You could ride it for free, whenever you want!!"

Kris gave her a very similar look to that in which I get when Jen has catnip, except this was a lot dumber.

"Why would I want a donkey, I'm just gonna get too big to ride it," he says as he drops the shoes in the water and begins running around the yard.

"Wow, an 8 year old can out-think a 40-year old woman. That's pretty pathetic," I thought to myself.

The woman waddles to the pool as fast as her fat legs will provide, and pulls her shoes from the water angrily.

"Thanks for ruining my shoes, you brat!!!", she hollered, walking off, whining about how her favorite pair of shoes are now ruined.

The rest of the children, around the same age as Kris, thought that what he'd done was pretty funny. When the laughter died down, and the woman stopped hollering, Jen announced that it was time to open presents. I wasn't particularly interested, so I trotted to the end of the yard to a huge pine tree that's at the end of the road. I'd climbed up it a few times or so, but never went too high. Today, I wanted to go higher than I'd ever been before.

I stood at the bottom and stared up at the tall tree with my large green eyes. Being a feline, I have the ability to jump quite high, and I can easily dig into the tree bark with my long, sharp claws. I sprang from the ground, and gracefully grabbed the first branch, and pulled myself up. I looked around, planning my next jump, and then landed there. I continued to leap from branch to branch, getting farther and farther from the ground. I was already quite a ways past the highest point I'd ever climbed to, but I wanted to go higher. Just as I was about to wrap my paws around another branch, Heather screamed in excitement. It startled me, and I turned to look at her, forgetting what I was doing. I fell down the tree, hitting many branches on the way down, screeching in pain and frustration. When I finally hit the ground, I landed hard on my back.

I slowly rolled over on my stomach and decided it'd be a good idea to lay down for a while. I looked up to see Heather, Jen and a few others laughing, and staring at me. Apparently they'd seen my fall or heard me on the way down. "That's alright", I thought. "I'll be laughing when I make the carpet smell foul."

I looked to see what Heather had gotten to make her so excited. I saw a large box with a picture of kids jumping on a giant mat. I'm sure I'll see it set up somewhere in the yard by tomorrow. Feeling more able to move, I stood and began walking towards the house. I think I deserve a little catnap after all the excitement today. So I crawled in between the porch steps, curled up into a black ball and dozed off.