Only One Awake |
So, how should I start off this tale of loneliness? Another little poem that, by now, is just redundant But, my head, it is a mess, so bear with me, I digress I have to fill this paper, have to dispose of my distress I’m far from a social butterfly, an unhappy hermit-crab My only sanctuary is being buried in the sand And in the salty water, things are quiet, much more drab For, in the sun, I falter with those people on the land This is my strange way of venting hatred of that party That particular party, and any others yet to come Wounds once closed reopened.. bloody, deep, and smarting Once again, in the end, I’m still alone, struck dumb I tried so hard to forget, I was warring with the past But for me, victory, it never fucking lasts In one fell swoop, it clattered, shattered pretty fucking fast And the truth that was once hidden, violently unmasked Cuz at the end of the night, I will always be alone How futile is this fight when losing’s in my bones? At the end of the night, she was asleep with him At the end of the night, I will never fucking win And where was I, you ask, while everyone reveled? I was back underwater, in the car that made my shell Wrapped in the cold darkness that became my little Hell Thinking of another fight that didn’t go too well… She was right inside, probably sleeping in his arms While she was miles away, dreaming of something warm Another man’s embrace, for sure, and certainly not mine It’s so fucking unfair, how she’s still stuck in my mind These thoughts, they shake me worse than being pulled over ever did Or getting lost in the fog, the fog where demons hid Cuz all I can do is ache, ache and yearn and pine I’m still underwater, the beach goers left me behind I’ve got so much I wanna say, but can only dream to scream So I’ll just sit and wait, watching floodlights gleam And mist conceals the ghosts as they drift around my home I’ll sit here burning, freezing, thinking, drinking all alone The world is such a better place When I’m the only one awake… |