Guardian Angel

I woke up this morning feeling extremely thirsty. So I went down stairs, grabbed a cup of water, and went back to my bedroom. When I got to the door, someone came up behind me and said, “You aren’t from around here, are you?”
“What the heck are you doing here? Why are you in my house,” I screamed at the funny looking man.
“I am just here to be you guardian angel. See there are bad people trying to get to you and they want you gone” Well that would explain all the people following me.
“To answer your previous question, no I am not from around here. I just moved here. There were men following me in Las Cruces. Do you know anything about that, angel” I added a bit of sarcasm to the word angel. And best of all, I could tell it angered him.
“I AM NOT JUST AN ANGEL; I EARNED MY WINGS FAIR AND SQUARED. Now we need to get fighting,” my angel said.
I told him about all the men who were following me. He thinks he knows how to defeat them. “So are we going to do a little one two on them” I ask.
“No but we are going to use a bit of magic.” He answered.
We went to the angel headquarters and got some death potion. I told my guardian angel all the descriptions of the men and just like that he came up with the names. We invited them to dinner at my house and slipped the potion into their drinks. And as soon as one drop touched their lips, they were dead.  My angel finally gave me his name, Matanuska. After I was sure they were dead, I yelled in delight, “We won the war of 2011”