Scene

Scene



(Open scene in a dirty, large empty room. Wall paper hanging off of the walls and a few bits of rubbish are scattered around the floor. There is a mattress in the corner, with dirty sheets on it, and a small table with empty cans of beer, and an over full ashtray and a few syringes. A girl with long greasy blonde hair is sat in the corner of the bed, with her knees pulled up to her chest. She is wearing baggy jogging bottoms and a small white vest. She is staring blankly at the wall opposite her.)



(There is a knock at the door. She doesn’t show any acknowledgement of the person knocking at the door for a few seconds, and then slowly looks up at the door on the other side of the room.)



Person on the other side of the door



Cassie! I know you’re in there, just open the fucking door… Cassie!



(There is another louder bang on the door, and Cassie pulls herself up slowly, revealing her skinny stomach, and stumbles to the door. She opens it quickly then walks straight back to the mattress, not even looking up to see who was on the other side of the door. She sits back on the mattress and James, her boyfriend, enters the room. He shuts the door and looks around the room, then at Cassie. He walks over to her, and perches on the edge of the bed.)



Cassie

What are you doing here Jammie?



James

Well, I, I, just wanted to see you. See how you are doing.



Cassie

Well, here I am. You have seen me. Off you pop.



James

Don’t be like this Cass, I still love you, I still want to be in your life. You can’t keep trying to shut me out… You can’t. I can help you. I, I want to help you.



Cassie

Yep, alright then. What you gonna do James? (Silence. James mumbles.) Thought so. You have done enough. If you don’t like what you see, you can just leave.



James

What the hell? I didn’t force that shit into your veins.



Cassie

You fucking know what I am talking about James. You did what you did, and I had to take the fall for your mistake, which has made me turn to this.



James

Baby, I don’t even know what to say. I’m sorry I brought you into my mess. Its killing me knowing what they did to you and the fact it was all down to me. I c-couldn’t… couldn’t do anything. I didn’t… where you..



(James starts to cry, and hangs his head low and puts his hands to his face. He then stands up abruptly and paces around the room.)



James

How can I blame you for all this? I was the one who put that kid in hospital, and if that was my brother, I would want revenge too. I would. But what they did to you was worse than what I did to his cocky little brother.



Cassie

What? Because it happened to someone YOU love?



(James looks at Cassie, and then looks away.)



Cassie

You put a young kid in a coma. A coma, James. You didn’t do your research on him. Anyone you do a deal with, you should know about. Inside and out. You didn’t even fucking know who his older brother was.



James

It was a fucking accident Cass. I didn’t do it on purpose did I?! It was a drug deal gone wrong. Any normal human being would see that that doesn’t make it right for them to do what they did.



Cassie

You can’t even say it can you? I bet it’s eating you up inside isn’t it James? Well, it was me who had to go through it, me who took the brunt of your ‘big mistake’, me who is never going to trust anyone again. Not you. You weren’t there. You weren’t there to see man after man forcing themselves on me, YOUR girlfriend.



James

Don’t.



Cassie

Don’t?! Is that all you have to fucking say to me… Jesus. Fucking. Christ! It’s all because of what you did. And you wonder why the fuck I am like this? Why I am sat here day after day, night after night, numbing it all with this stuff? (Cassie waves her hand over to the syringes on the table)



James

I’m not saying that I don’t understand what you’re doing. But you should see there are better ways to deal with this.



Cassie

Oh, really? Better way? There’s better way to deal with several accounts of rape? Really? My God. Why did no one tell me?



James

Oh for god’s sake Cass, don’t be like that. I’m just saying that you could get help, professional help. We could get through this. You are killing yourself. Life could get better.



Cassie

Your life could get better Jam, not mine. Mine has already gone to shit.



James

What’s the fucking point of sticking this shit in your arms for a few hours of feeling a bit happy?



Cassie

A bit happy? (She laughs sarcastically) It’s so much more than that. Its pure ecstasy, it’s like everything is perfect in the world. Try having 1 million orgasms all at once, and you’re not even close. For those few hours I feel something other than used, betrayed and alone. I feel something other than that five fingered noose around my neck. Feel nothing of that 13 stone of hate pressing on my body. Do you know where these bruises are from?



(Cassie points to her knees and pulls up her jogging bottoms.)



Cassie

I have bruises here, on my knees from praying to forget. Forget something that you made happen.



James

Don’t you… you know… think it would be a good idea to talk to someone? I mean, give yourself a chance.



Cassie

Do you think I haven’t thought about that? But what good would that do? Fuck all, that’s what! The idea sounds nice, but it won’t make the pain go away would it? And besides where would I get the money to pay for some stuffy old man to nod blankly at me at £100 an hour



James

I’m going to be honest Cass, I don’t know. But we could find somewhere, someone who could get us some, some information.



Cassie

Give it up Jam, this isn’t going to change. This is me now, this is my life. There is nothing I can do to change it. In fact, there is nothing I want to do to change it. And if the next syringe chooses to end my life, well, then that would be bliss. It would mean never having to think about those men taking my control away.



(James reaches into his pocket and retrieves a packet of cigarettes, he takes one out and lights it up, then passes it to Cassie. He then takes one for himself and sparks it up. They both sit on the end of the bed, with their legs extended, staring straight ahead, and taking drags on their cigarettes at the same time. There is silence for a few minutes.)



James

What about us?



Cassie

What do you mean what about us? There is no us.



(James looks hurt and hangs his head lower.)



James

Please Cass, we could get through this, we could get back on track. There could be a house, and a garden and children. And it would be ours. Just us. And.. and we could have a mail box and everything.



(Cassie smiles.)

Cassie

I would love a mail box with you James. But though it sounds like a beautiful place in your head, I can’t be with anyone. And it would be unfair to expect you to be ok with me and all this. (She waves her hand at the syringes)



James

That’s exactly it, I wouldn’t be ok with it; I would help you recover from it. I will do anything Cass.



Cassie

What’s so great about life without it James? Bills, working stupid hours just to cover a water bill, watching Saturday television mindlessly, pretending to be happy when your just not. We wouldn’t last 5 minutes out there Jam, in the real world.



James

You’re wrong.



Cassie

How do you know that? We have never had a normal job or been conventional. You’re a drug dealer; I was a stripper before I met you. I mean, we won’t exactly have a great amount of work experience to put on our CV’s to get a ‘normal’ job. Lets just face it, we are never going to be up standing citizens.



James

Well, that’s not true. I mean, it would take a while, but we could get there. Build up proper work experience. It’s not over for us yet.



Cassie

James, we are heading the wrong side of 30, our time is over. James, you live out of a ruddy bin bag, crashing on your so called mates sofas. You have no base to start this magical journey of self-satisfaction and discovery.



James

Well isn’t that nice Cass. Cheers for metaphorically kicking me right in the balls. Don’t you think I know I have fuck all?



(James stands up quickly and with one hand on his waist, he paces the room.)



Cassie

Well, I think I would say that’s pretty accurate.



James

(Shouting) Jesus Cass, you always did fucking love pissing on people’s parade didn’t you? I mean I come here, to this shitty little room, in this shitty block of flats, on this shitty little street, to try and help you. To try and find the girl I once knew.



Cassie

Well, I didn’t fucking ask you to come did I?



James

Oh, you’re welcome. I came here because believe it or not Cassie, you need someone. And I come here, trying my sodding hardest to show you that life is maybe worth fighting for, something that even I’m struggling to understand at the moment, what with my mother killing herself and everything. By the way the funeral was fine, thanks for asking!



(At this point James is still standing and pacing the room. He is getting more and more angry and frustrated.)



Cassie

I’m sorry James; it must have slipped my mind, seeing as all I seem to be thinking about was how I was raped.



(At this point James gets so angry he punches the wall. His hand bleeds. Cassie jumps up and walks straight over to him. She gets a dirty pillow case and wraps it around her knuckles.)



Cassie

There’s just no room in this world of Rihanna’s, £4.00 coffees and overpriced jogging bottoms, for us. We just need to accept that. I’m not choosing to live a shit life, I am playing with the cards I have been dealt. And it just happens that this way is the only way, I know, that helps me to forget.



James

I still don’t get why you want to waste away in this manky little room.



Cassie

It’s beautiful when you get the hit.



James

Cass!



Cassie

What? It’s true.

Cassie reaches over to the side of the mattress and takes two cans of beer out of a plastic bag, and passes one to James.



James

How did this all happen Cass? I keep searching for the moment when we could have stopped it all from happening, but I don’t know when it was. Is it really all over for us?



Cassie

Yes. We have nothing left to give Jammie.



James

(Sighs, and then pause.) Let me try the stuff?



Cassie

What?



James

Well, you keep going on about how incredible that shit is, I want to see what all the fuss is about.



Cassie

Don’t be stupid Jam.



James

I’m not being stupid. You’re right; it’s all over for us, isn’t it? Well, if I can’t beat you, I may as well join you. I love you Cass and I want to be with you.



Cassie

You’re not being serious?



James

Let me try and understand.



Cassie

No, No! I won’t let you.



James

Well, why preach to me about how perfect this shit is, if you wouldn’t recommend it!



Cassie

You’re just being a dick now James.



James

Cassie, I mean it. I love you, I am willing to be where you are. This is killing me, I made this mess, it should be me who is where you are now. Not you. This is wrong.



(James takes off his jumper, and reaches for the belt that’s on the floor by the side of the bed. Cassie just stares with tears in her eyes. He puts the belt around the top of his arm and tightens it. He looks up at Cassie.)



James

Go on then.



Cassie

James…



James

What? This is the least I can do for you.



Cassie

I can’t see you do this. This just isn’t right. This is how I chose to deal with what happened; I won’t let you waste your life on this.



James

I’ve always been the boss Cass, don’t start trying to be the man of the relationship now.

James winks at Cassie and gives her a little smile. She smiles back.



Cassie

Stop trying to lighten the mood. It’s too dark…



James

This is my choice; I want to be as close to you as possible. You are my life; I couldn’t breathe without you Cass. I can’t keep going in life if you’re not in it. If I give you up, and do as you say, and try to be something, I would never be happy. You know why? Because I wouldn’t have you, you are the best part of me. You are me. I cannot lose you. And even though you say you can’t be with anyone right now, I will wait. I will wait for fucking ever. I will sit with you while you cry, I will spend the rest of forever trying to get back into that head of yours and I will never leave you. You will always have me, however you want me… Baby? (He pushes a bit of hair behind her ear and whispers) I’ll keep you safe. Always… (He lifts her chin) Yeah?



(Cassie puts her hand on James face. She looks longingly into his eyes and then Cassie reaches over and pulls out a large tin box, she puts in onto James’ lap. He opens it up slowly and looks at the contents. It is full of the makings for heroin, including; a syringe, a spoon, several lighters and the heroin itself.)

(Cassie heats the Heroin with a spoon and a lighter, and then prepares the dirty syringe. Cassie looks up at James. She leans forward and the pair embrace in a passionate kiss.)



Cassie

Are you sure?



James

Just do it.



(Cassie injects James with heroin, and then undoes the belt around his arm. James falls back onto the bed, his eyes are small. Cassie leans over him and kisses him on the forehead. James smiles and Cassie ties the belt around her skinny arm and repeats the same. She falls back as well into James arms.)