Lesson 5 - Exercise

Following is the scene I will develop further for my writing exercise:

Jessica’s Story – Lesson 2

Originally written as –

“Is anything wrong?”

“No, she just thinks I don’t know how to discipline the kids. But I was nice. I told her we were going to the beach and would talk about it later.” Jess had sharped at her mother-in-law once before and knew not to do that again. Andy made it crystal clear who had his allegiance.

Subtexted as –

“Is anything wrong?”

“Of course not. Your mom is so smart about raising kids. I’m seriously considering asking her to move in with us for awhile. Your dad probably wouldn’t mind a bit. He could paint to his heart’s content. What do you think? Should we?”

Other subtext examples:

Example Situation 1 – A co-worker tries to get the employee, who drags himself to work when he is sick, to stay home.

a. Co-employee mentions she would love to be off today to watch “Gone With the Wind” on tv.
b. Co-employee states that the head boss is coming today to do an employee evaluation.

Example Situation 2 – A realtor is profusely going over the amazing qualities of the house she is trying to sell to a husband and wife who are trying to get it at a cheaper price.

a. The wife complains about how much time it will take to maintain the lawn and pool.
b. The husband complains about the grand stairway aggravating his arthritis.

Example Situation 3 – A little boy wants a dog and his parents are against it.

a. The little boy mentions the recent burglaries in the neighborhood.
b. The little boy says mom needs some company and protection on her daily walks.