My Belle

Since you introduced me to this sight, my first piece is for you.

When I was seventeen, I started Highschool. I can remember seeing a short and skinny bruenette with big doe brown eyes. She was adorable and so quiet. She was also a kid, so I glanced and ignored her. I, because of her brother's reputation of doing stupid shit, learned her name. I always loved her name, is was always pretty to me. As Highschool progressed, she got older, as people do and I would tell her hello in passing. She always looked down when she walked and I always wondered why. But as she got older, she still seemed awkward and shy, but she got prettier as time went by. Again, she was way too young for me, so I saw her as a pretty kid.
On June 1st, 2011, the girl from school accepted my request from facebook. I went to her photos and what met my eyes just dropped my jaw. I have always loved Belle from Disney's Beauty and the Beast because she was so beautifully drawn. And when I saw the girl I knew as the woman in the pictures, all I could think of was Belle. I swear to God. It was like I was dreaming. I thought maybe I had a seizure and I was seeing things. She is the most beautiful person that I have seen in my 30 years of life. Her eyes are so big and brown and I can see into them as if they were mirrors to her soul. She conveyed sadness and confidence at the same time. Looking at her profile, I saw the word single as her status and I was like. . .she's too beautiful for me. So I just made her out to be a snob so I wouldn't want to like her and get cussed the fuck out by not just another beautiful woman, but the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. But I tried my luck as a friend and sent her a message. We began talking and I found a  lot about her very quickly. She had a painful and abusive past, just like me. She was insecure, just like me, and she just seems to want to be loved, just like me. She sent me a site with her writings on it and I just gasped. I've been writing poetry for 16 years and mind didn't compare to hers. She told me that she was a model and I wasn't suprised at all. She told me that she did nude modeling, and uncharacteristically of me, I asked to see her pictures. Of course, I didn't think she would send them. By the end of the first night of us speaking on the computer, I was walking on air. I began to like her from the moment she made me laugh the first time. The next day, she asn I spoke again and she sent me a link to a site and it had pictures in it. The first picture that I saw was of her nude and my jaw dropped again because I din't think she would send me that. After the initial shock wore off, I looked at them as the art that they are. She has a beautiful body like a goddess and her art is beautiful because her pain and vulnerable side shines through her eyes. I got no sexual thrill from her art, just a sense of "this is just beautiful."
Then I heard her speak and her voice sounds like a melody that I could listen to forever. Whether she is bitching at me, whispering sweet nothings, or reading me the phonebook, I could listen to her speak until I fall asleep. She is the sweetest person and she doesn't even know it. She made me want to make her happy. She made me want to be happy. I woke up every day hoping to hear from her and went to bed hoping to see her in my dreams. She is just so perfect in every way shape and form that just her seeming interested in me was the greatest feeling ever. I was invited to her house and I was planning to ask her on a date. . .
That morning I woke up happy. I was just not the pissed off person in the "fuck you" mood I'm always in. I ate and was ttrying to figure out how I was going to ask her out and if she said yes, not to pass out. I mean I fell head over heels for her and with good reason. She is perfect. That afternoon, I logged on with a smile and saw that she had entered into a relationship after over a year of being single. My heart broke and I began crying. . .just as I am now. She said that she is my friend, but it hurts knowing that someone else is holding her and telling her the things that I want to tell her every day. It hurts knowing that I know we could make each other happy every day and that I just cannot have that chance. I'm not obsessed with her. I just know what I'm missing and I just want that one chance to make her happy like I know I can make her. I may not believe in love at first sight, but I believe in her. I believe she can be more than she thinks she is because behind all the beauty is still someone who thinks she is ugly. She is unique and important and I want her to feel that way with me. I want to walk side by side holding her hand through her life so that I can pick her up when she falls, dust her off, and remind her of how perfect she is every single day. I want to fall in love with her. I want to go on our first date and have our first kiss as we say goodnight as the butterflies in our stomachs make us a little sick. I want to be on the phone with my best friend telling him about it like a 15 year-old girl. I want to introduce her to my family and then go to my room and talk alone between kisses. I want to pull out chairs, open doors, hold her hand, fall asleep on the phone, rub her feet, back, legs, and tummy if they hurt whil she tells me how shitty her day was until she saw me. I want to treat her like a lady and make her feel like a princess, even though she's my queen. I want to go to town with my cousin, putting up with his bitch of a wife and three bad ass kids just so I can stop at her job, buy a smoothie, tell her she's beautiful and that I miss her, tip her, kiss her on the cheek, and go home to wait for her call.

You may find it creepy, and I'm talking directly to you now, but I don't. I have dreams and wishes to make the perfect woman happy. And to me, you are that woman. There are no flaws about you. You have the perfect hair, eyes, nose, lips, body, voice, personallity, and inner beauty. I could love you more and more every day and give it to you in any measure you want. I cannot give you the world, but I can treat you like you're my world. I would give you my all every day and nothing less. I would tell you I love you, when it comes to that, every day. I would tell you how beautiful you are and how special you are and how proud and lucky I am just to be able to call you mine. You are all I can think of as perfect and wonderful. I can cry now knowing that I'm hurt over something worth these tears. I know it's not popular and not manly, but I don't give a fuck. If it made you realize that I am who you want to be with I'd shed these tears at halftime at the Superbowl on live television. No, I'm not in love with you, but I want the chance to know what falling into such a wonderful thing is like. I can promise you that every day will be special and every kiss would feel like our first. I will support you on all of your choices and decisions. Don't think of me as an obsessed man. Just think of me as a man who knows what you are. All I need is one chance. And for that one chance, I'll wait for you.Do me a favor and ask your friends who know me. They'll all tell you the same. I am worth being with. I am worth loving. They will tell you that you will never find anyone better. Listen to your friends and then listen to me. You don't have to follow your heart. Just give it to me and I'll lead it to happiness. Give me the chance to love you. Give yourself the chance to love me.