Love is a 4 letter word

“You can’t love me! You’re not capable of love!” he screamed at her.
“Why is it so hard to believe? Haven’t I shown you time and again that I love you?” Jenna said quietly. She kept her face looking down at the floor; she couldn’t bear to see the disdain in his eyes. She waited for tears to come but as usual there was nothing. She knew before she said it, that David would not accept any emotions from her. But she had to express her feelings to him, no matter the cost.

“From the very beginning you knew what our arrangement was going to be. I made that perfectly clear, and you agreed! You are just like the rest, always wanting something more!” he yelled. “Jenna I don’t care about what you THINK you feel!”

Jenna remembered the agreement; her role was to be a companion to David and nothing more. He had made it perfectly clear, sometimes too clear, that there would never be any real love or affection for her. Sometimes he was cruel, indifferent to her and other times almost kind. It was at those times that she prayed he might finally be having feelings for her; but it wasn’t long before he went back to being cold again. David let out a loud sigh; like he always did when he was annoyed. “Don’t you have some work to do, like gardening or some other female chore? Well it doesn’t matter just get out of my sight.” With that last remark he went back to reading his newspaper, never glancing up again.

As usual, Jenna did as she was told; she left the room; quietly closing the door behind her. Now she knew she was living on borrowed time, it wouldn’t be long before she would have to go back to the Agency. She had hated it there, always waiting for someone to call and request a companion. Now that she had come to live with David, things had changed. She had never loved anyone before and as much pain as it was causing her, she hoped she would never feel it again. Sadness consumed her but still she could not cry.

Jenna opened the door that led out to the flower garden; this always seemed to make her feel a little better. There were poppies, daffodils, lilacs, magnolias and roses. If she wasn’t anything more at least she was an accomplished gardener. She had worked hard to bring as much beauty to this area of the yard as she could. She never lacked the need for money to keep this area of world beautiful. David spared no cost when it came to beautifying his property and that included her. She had the finest of clothes, jewelry, furs and she would go to the beautician once a week for what David referred to as “maintenance”.

Everyday she’d spend time in her garden, the time seemed to slip away from her, and then she’d hear David yelling for her to get busy cooking dinner. She’d run into the house and directly to the kitchen, she always knew beforehand what they would have for dinner that night and what the routine was. From the very first night that they had dinner together she was allowed to eat with David as long as she didn’t talk. He would read his mail or look over his business papers. He never looked up or complimented her on her cooking. Jenna was to make sure his glass was never empty. When the glass was almost empty she would quickly refill it. When he had finished his meal, she was to take his dishes into the kitchen and start on cleanup. She learned early on how to eat fast, when David was done eating, so was she even if she hadn’t finished her dinner.
David would get up from the table and retire to his study; she never knew what he was doing in there. She wasn’t allowed to bother him at all unless he needed her for something. She’d keep herself busy around the house till David would bring it to her attention that it was late; that meant time for bed. She would take a bath, put on her nightgown and retire to bed. She would drift off to sleep quickly from the exhaustion of that day. Some nights though David would drink a little too much and then he would demand that she come to this bed. It was during these moments that David became a different person; someone loving and gentle. He would hold her, caress her and he’d whisper in her ear, “I love you, Caroline.”

Caroline had been his wife who died from Ovarian Cancer 2 years before. He never mentioned her name except when he held Jenna in his arms. He had pictures of the two of them all over the house and once, while cleaning she saw a copy of the death certificate. She tried to ask him about Caroline, but he lashed out with a quick slap to her face and told Jenna NEVER to mention her again. The strange thing was that she looked like her; they both had long blond hair, blue eyes, tall, slender, and very shapely. The first time he saw Jenna; he seemed please and then within a minute or two sadness wiped any kind of joy from his face.

On the ride to what was going to be her new home, he laid out all of his demands of what was expected of her, she would have her own bedroom unless he needed a woman; then he would let her know. Everything seemed ok at first and she understood her place, what she was or was not to do. Once they arrived “home”, he showed her around the house and took her to her room. He opened the closet door, there were so many beautiful dresses hanging there; and he informed her that she was to wear only those clothes. Everything went according to plan; but as time went on Jenna began to have real feelings for David, and that was breaking a cardinal rule.

Now as she stood in the kitchen getting ready to prepare the dinner, she almost wished she could start the day over. Jenna knew she had made him very angry earlier and didn’t want a repeat performance; his words still stung from earlier. She said a silent prayer that he would be over it and decided to cook his favorite dish as a way of making peace. She had planned on starting off with a nice green salad and for the entree Lobster Thermidor, served with a glass of Chardonnay.

David came down and took his seat while Jenna served him. He always came to dinner with something to read or paperwork to do but that night he came empty handed. Jenna thought it was odd but knew better than to ask. Once Jenna had served him she herself sat down to eat, she waited. She kept her head bowed as she ate, always remembering not to speak.
David cleared his throat, “Jenna”. She jumped and almost fell out of her chair, and then dread washed over her. She looked up at him and looked into the same cold lifeless eyes she had seen so much of in the past, she still didn’t speak. David continued, “I guess you know I will be calling the Agency. You will be leaving very soon. You will leave with only the things you came with.” Jenna couldn’t plead, she couldn’t speak, she knew what it all meant and that mercy was only given to the select but not to someone like her.

David got up from the table and dialed the Agency. “This is David Banfield; can’t you guys get anything right!? What do I pay you thousands for? Yes, she is like the others and I am getting tired of this. I want a new companion; no, no, no, I don’t want her to look like anything else. I want the same kind of looks but I want her more perfect. If you can’t help me, I will pull my business from you. NOW GET IT RIGHT!” David slammed the phone down and then quickly turned and looked at Jenna. “They are coming for you in about an hour, so do what you have to do before they get here.”

Jenna walked outside to the flower garden and admired her handiwork one last time. Her heart ached, not so much for going back but for not seeing her beautiful garden again. It was the only thing she had done that didn’t turn out to be a disaster. She picked one flower of each and went in the house. “David, may I take these with me?”

“I don’t care; I am going to be digging up that wretched garden when you leave anyway.”

Jenna went outside and stood on the front porch and waited. It didn’t take long before the men from the Agency showed up and escorted her to the car. She didn’t put up a fuss; she climbed in almost void of all emotion. She did nothing during the trip except look at her flowers. When they arrived, she was taken inside the admittance room.

One of the guards that stood with Jenna made a comment, “I don’t know what he expects, he gets what he asks for and then screams she’s defective.”
Jenna looks up and replies softly, “He feels that love makes us defective and it is one thing he won’t tolerate. We aren’t allowed any emotions.”
The people in the room laughed, it is well known that emotions should never come into play. The clerk behind the counter types all the information that is needed into her computer. The printer spits out a paper and the clerk hands it to the guard. Jenna is escorted back to a 5x7chamber, where she will stay. They take her clothes and although she pleads to keep her flowers, they take them away.
“These clones sure expect a lot, don’t they?” said one of the guards.

The other one snickered and replied “Yeah, you’d think that giving them life would be enough but they got to get greedy.”

The lab technician is called and told that Mr. Banfield wants another clone of his dead wife. The lab technician says with a raised voice, “Again? What was wrong with this one?” The voice on the other end of the phone tells him that this specimen developed emotions.
“Okay, okay I will start over but I don’t know if I can ever rid them of that capability. Look how many he has gone through, and it is always the same complaint. Maybe he needs to just get over the fact that none of them will ever replace his wife.” He hangs up the phone and starts the process over.
Once Jenna is strapped in her chamber, the guard tapes the paper that the clerk gave him on the door “Specimen 212, defective, terminate ASAP and incinerate.” When the door closed Jenna could hear the button being pressed that would make this capsule her tomb. The guards leave and turn off the lights except for the ones that give the room a strange blue color. It is deathly quiet and all that Jenna is left with is memories. The turbine starts up and soon she hears the gas coming into her capsule and she feels the light mist of gas that is being pumped into chamber. She whispers, “I love you, David.” As she closes her eyes one final time a single tear falls.